


As From a Mother's Hand

by pandorabox82



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-16 07:15:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 62,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7257814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Penelope finds out she's pregnant, she delves into her family history and discovers things are not as she has believed all these years. How will the discovery of who her mother really is affect everyone at the BAU? A/U</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"I thought you loved Pad Thai, Plum Sauce." Penelope looked up from the toilet bowl and groaned softly.

"I do, Kev. I don't know what's wrong with me. Would you get me a glass of water?" She heard him move out of her bathroom and she bent back over the bowl, throwing up once more. "Oh god, what did I eat that caused this?" she muttered, breathing heavily.

"I poured you some ginger ale, Penny. That might settle your stomach faster than water." Penelope smiled gratefully as she flushed the toilet. Kevin helped her up, handing her a wet washcloth which she wiped her face with before sipping at the ginger ale.

"Thanks, Kev. Let's go cuddle." She held out her hand and he clasped it, leading her into the living room. "Have I told you lately how grateful I am that we're working on our relationship?"

"I wasn't about to throw away four years of happiness with you. So, we won't move in right away, or get married. I love you, Penny, and if these are my boundaries, I'll live with them." He kissed her temple as they sat down on the couch. "Now, I do have something to ask you. Do you want to watch _Galaxy Quest_ or _Lady and the Tramp_?"

" _Galaxy Quest_ , please." She settled back in the couch while he put the disc in her DVD player. Once he'd gotten comfortable, she curled into him, relishing the feel of his arm around her shoulders. "I love this movie."

"I know you do, sweetie. Did you read recently where Sigourney Weaver said there's an R-rated version floating around out there?"

"No, I didn't. That would be so amazing to see, though." They watched for a few minutes and Penelope began to feel queasy again. "Excuse me," she murmured as she ran for the bathroom once more. As she threw up, her eyes focused on her box of tampons. It was the same box she had last used two months ago. "Shit."

"What is it?" She looked up at Kevin and smiled weakly. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Penny?"

"I think we need to run down to Wallgreens, Kevin."

"What do you need me to get? Tylenol, Midol, Nyquil?"

"Two different brands of pregnancy tests, actually. We didn't use protection during our reunion weekend because I wasn't thinking about that." She watched his smile grow and felt some of the panic fade from her body.

"You think you're pregnant?" He knelt by her side, gently spreading his hand across her stomach. "Oh my gosh, a little bit of you and me is growing in here. Do you want to call Morgan and let him know?"

"Not until we get everything confirmed. Are you really that happy about this?"

"Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" He reached up and smoothed her hair back gently. "Imagine a little girl who looks as perfect as you running around here. I can see if there's another condo available her, that way they don't have to go far to see one of us."

Penelope burst into tears and wrapped her arms around him. "What did I do to deserve you?" she whispered as he rocked her back and forth. "All right, let's find out if my hunch is right." They stood and she clung to him as they left the apartment. It was a short walk down to the store and she led him to the pharmacy section.

"Why are there so many options?" Kevin asked as they looked at the shelves in front of them.

"I have no idea. Just pick one and I'll pick another." Penelope closed her eyes and blindly reached out for a slim box. Kevin did the same moments later and they went up to pay.

The clerk smiled as she checked them out. "Will this be your first?" she asked kindly.

Penelope smiled. "Yes, it will be, hopefully. All depends on what these say." Kevin tightened his arm around her waist and she looked up into his face.

"Well, then, I hope you get happy results."

"Thank you," Kevin replied as he took the bag from the clerk's outstretched hand. They got home ten minutes later and Penelope took a deep breath.

"I can't pee."

"What?"

"I don't have to pee. How am I supposed to take these if I can't pee?"

"By drinking a bunch of water. We can watch the movie up until you feel like you have to go." He kissed her sweetly and she smiled as she nodded. "Go, start it up while I get you a glass."

She went over and sat down once more, pressing play. Penelope giggled a little when Kevin handed her the largest cup she owned, filled to the brim with water. "I don't think I'll need quite this much liquid, honey."

He just shrugged. "Better too much than not enough."

As soon as the climactic battle scene began, Penelope felt her bladder tell her it was time to pee. Getting up, she grabbed the boxes and took them into the bathroom. She opened the first box and read the instructions. While she took it, she read the second box and then took that one. With the task finished, she stood and washed her hands before returning to Kevin. "Now we wait. Let's finish the movie before we check, okay?" He nodded and pulled her close to his side.

Once the credits started rolling, they stood and she led him over to the bathroom. "I'll look at one and you look at the other?"

"Sure." She handed him one and picked up hers. Happy tears prickled her eyes as she read the positive results. "Mine says Daddy."

"And mine says Mommy. Oh, I'm so happy!" He leaned forward and kissed her passionately and she wrapped her arms around him. He brought her out to the bedroom and helped her out of her dress. Kneeling on the floor, he kissed her stomach tenderly. "Our future is growing in you, Penny. It hardly seems possible, does it? Are we going to name her Emily, if she's a girl?"

Penelope slid down his body to kneel in front of him, looking deep into his eyes. "I would love that, Kevin." It had been so difficult to let Emily go, but she knew her friend had to find peace in the end. "Thank you." She unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders. "You're not nervous about this."

"How do you know?"

"You're not sweating. Take me to bed." He nodded and helped her to stand and they finished undressing. He tossed her a nightshirt and she pulled it on before climbing into bed. "I hope the baby has your hair, Kevin."

"And I hope the baby has your eyes and smile. And your heart." He kissed her softly as he pulled her flush against him. "Go to sleep, Penny." She nodded and felt her eyes close heavily.

When she woke up in the morning, she could smell breakfast cooking. "I don't know how much of that I can eat, Kevin. Food and I seem to be fighting at the moment," she said as she got out of bed.

"Just try to get something down. We have an appointment with your GP at 10:30." He smiled at her and she just shook her head. "I know, kind of fast, but I want to know what we're in for."

"I'll have to call Hotch. He needs to know why I'm not coming in."

"Already taken care of, my turtle dove. Though he doesn't know why you're taking a personal day. If you were thinking of grabbing a shower, I would do so right after you eat. We have to leave in about an hour."

She nodded and sat at the table, eating the eggs he'd prepared. With them gone, she got up and pulled out an outfit for the day and disappeared into the bathroom. Tucking her hair into a shower cap, she showered quickly and then dressed. Eschewing her normal makeup regimen, she applied just a light coat of lip gloss and a dusting of blush. "I'm ready, Kevin."

Picking up her purse and cell phone, she slipped on a light cardigan and waited for him by the door. They went out into the hall and Penelope locked the door. While they drove, Kevin formed a classical music station on Pandora. "That will be good for the baby, right?"

"JJ listened to it when she was pregnant with Henry." Sighing happily, she sank back in the seat, letting the music wash over her. By the time they got to the office, she was thoroughly relaxed. Handing Kevin her purse, she checked in and then joined him. Her stomach fluttered nervously and she took hold of his hand, squeezing lightly, trying to retain the calm of the car ride.

"Ms. Garcia?" the nurse called out moments later and she stood with Kevin, walking with him over to the door. "How are you this morning?"

"Wonderful. We think we're pregnant."

"That's what Mr. Lynch said when he called. Let me just take your vitals and then Dr. Kane will be in momentarily." The nurse took down her height and weight before showing them to an exam room where she recorded Penelope's blood pressure. "That's a little higher than I'd like, but given the circumstances, I think it'll go back down Just sit down wherever and she'll be here shortly."

After the nurse had left the room, Penelope hopped up on the exam table. "So, we're going to ask for the name of a good OB and what to expect at our first appointment with them. Here, take notes on Hera while we talk." She pulled out her iPad from her purse, thrusting it at him. He'd just called up the notepad app when her doctor bustled in.

"So, Penelope, I hear congratulations are in order. I'm sure you're going to have a lot of questions, most of which I can only answer half as well as an obstetrician. Here's a list of ones that I've worked with in the past. I would recommend Lisandra Moe. She generally works with later in life pregnancies. Now, she'll want to know as much about your family history as possible, so begin to gather that information. I'd expect to get in to see her in two weeks."

"Thank you so much, Dr. Kane." She nodded and left while Penelope and Kevin continued to sit there. "Well, I would have thought we'd get more time with her."

"She's busy, Kev. And we have our OB. Everything's fine. I guess."

They got up and he put his arm around her waist. "You guess?"

"Yeah. Now I have to get in touch with my brothers. This might actually be worse than morning sickness…"


	2. Chapter 2

Once they were back at the apartment, Penelope sat on her couch, pulling out her laptop as she rested her legs on the coffee table. "Thank you," she said as she took the mug from Kevin's hand.

"Just email them, Plum Sauce. The worst that can happen is you don't hear from them and we go in to the appointment blind. I have all the information I need right now, thanks to that stroke scare last year."

She nodded and called up Gmail. Starting a new message, she stared at the cursor, watching it blink. "It mocks me, Kevin."

"What does, Penny?" he asked as he sat next to her, pulling out his own laptop.

"The cursor. I don't have any idea what I want to say to them."

"Just ask for a copy of your mom's medical records. You'll probably have to look in public records for your father, though. I'm not sure if they would have kept something that didn't affect them."

She laughed nervously and leaned against him. "Why does this make me so upset and nervous? Fine, I'll just get it over with, like taking off a Band-Aid." Taking a deep breath, she placed her fingers on the keyboard and began to type. _Hi everyone, I know we haven't talked in a long time, and that's partly my fault. I've been in a relationship with someone for four years now, and we just found out we're going to be parents. Which is why I'm writing you. My OB wants to know as much about our medical history as possible. Do one of you have Mom's medical records? And on a long shot, my father's? I hope to hear from you soon. Penny_

Adding their names to the address line, she hovered over the send button. "Just click it, sweetie pie." Penelope nodded and clicked the button, releasing the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. "Do you feel better now?"

"A little, yeah." Her phone rang and she picked it up, looking at the display. "It's Morgan." Kevin nodded as she answered. "Hey, boo. How's the case going?"

"All right, I suppose. I hate the other tech. He's so slow compared to you. But how are you feeling?"

"Better this morning. Did Kevin tell you our good news?"

"No, he didn't. What news do you have, Baby Girl?"

"We're going to have a baby! If I'm right, I'm about two months along."

"That's wonderful news, Penny!" In the background, she could hear Hotch calling everyone together. "Sorry, Baby Girl, but that's my cue to get back to work. We'll talk later, okay?"

"Sure. I'll be in the office tomorrow, too, so everything will be better for you guys, too." Penelope hung up and set her phone on the table. "What are you doing?"

"Looking up what we're going to have to look forward to. I'm going to have to give you a lot more backrubs."

"Why?"

"Your breasts already bother your back at times, and it says here that due to milk production, they can grow about two cup sizes or more."

"Great. What else is there?" she asked as she curled up into his side.

"The sickness will continue for about another two months, but if it gets too bad, we can ask for something to calm your gag reflex. You'll want to gain about twenty five pounds, but the doctor will tell us if we're putting on too much or too little." He turned a little green and she wondered what he was looking at. Turning the laptop so she could see it, she felt herself blanch.

"Wow, I am so glad I can't watch myself give birth."

"Yeah, but I can." He kissed her forehead lightly. "But if I can stay above the waist during labor, we should be fine."

Penelope shook her head as she giggled. "I can just have Jayje in the room if you think it's going to bother you that much. After all, she's been through this once before."

He nodded. "Maybe she could help us out during labor. It would be nice to have someone with experience coach us through."

"True, true." She got up and refilled her mug of tea and grabbed a banana off the counter before rejoining Kevin.

The hours passed and Penelope checked her email almost constantly. There was nothing from her brothers and she felt her heart sink a little more each time there was no word. "Honey, don't work yourself up so. I don't think that it's very good for the baby."

"I know, but I just want a reply."

"Not everyone is attached to the internet like we are. Come on, let's get you to bed."

"Aren't you staying tonight?"

"No, I have my League of Legends campaign tonight. I'll bring by lunch, though, tomorrow." He helped her up and led her over to the bed. "I love you, Penelope Garcia."

"I love you, too, Kevin Lynch." She kissed him gently and then got into bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. "I hope you guys win tonight."

"I know we will, what with your well wishes." He bent and kissed her once more before leaving the apartment. She was asleep in moments, a smile on her face.

In the morning, she showered and then got dressed. Pinning up her hair, she quickly did her makeup before eating some toast and heading out for the day. Looking over the notes from the other tech, she quickly got herself caught up and continued to run the searches he had started.

On her personal laptop, she kept refreshing her mail, hoping for some news from just one of her brothers. At ten, Morgan called and she smiled widely. "Hey Sugar!"

"How're you feeling today, Baby Girl?"

"Wonderful, but a bit distracted."

"Why's that?"

"I'm waiting for my brothers to get back to me. I guess the OB wants a complete family health history when we go see her. And you know I have a bit of a blank slate there." She sighed. "I hope the baby smoothes things over with his family. They haven't talked to me since I rejected his proposal."

"I thought you were going to have dinner with them last week?"

"They bailed at the last minute. So, what did you need?"

"How are those searches coming?"

She looked them over and told him what the results were. "I hope this helps."

"I'm sure it will, Penelope. And don't worry about your brothers, okay? Everything will work out. Oh, and be sure to call Mama. She'll love to hear she's have a pseudo-grandbaby."

"Sure. Talk to you later." She disconnected the call and went back to her work. Shortly before lunch, she checked her email and saw a reply from her youngest older brother, Joey. Instantly, her palms began to sweat and her stomach roiled a little. Her door opened, revealing Kevin. "Hi, Kev."

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, you noticed. I got an email from Joey."

"And have you opened it yet?" he asked as he sat down on her desk, handing her the bag of food.

"No. I don't want to see what he's written." She took out the container and spork and began to eat so that she wouldn't have to answer any more questions.

"You can't get out of this so easily, Plum Sauce. I'll open it and read it aloud while you eat." She nodded and he turned the screen so that he could see it. "Hi, Penny. It's so nice to hear from you. I know we didn't exactly part on good terms, and I'm sorry for that. Congratulations on the baby, by the way. Sarah and I had our first earlier this year, and he's a Joey, too. I was trying to get up the courage to contact you, and then your email came. Anyway, you wanted to know about Mom and Richard. I scanned in all the info I could find and attached it as a PDF. See, you're not the only one good with a computer! Oh, and if you want to call, and I hope you do, you can reach me at 616-555-8930. Love you, Sis! Joey."

Kevin looked up at her and she wiped away her tears quickly. "That went better than I expected it to. So, what does the PDF say?"

She watched Kevin click on the file and read through the contents. "Nothing out of the ordinary. Here, check them out." He handed the laptop to her and she scrolled through the documents.

As she looked over the information, she noticed something odd to her. "Honey, could you look something up for me?"

"What do you need me to find?" he asked, taking a seat in front of one of her babies.

"Can you see if A positive and O positive blood types can make a B negative baby?"

She listened to him tapping away at the keyboard, hoping that it could be true. What she remembered from high school biology told her otherwise, though, so she twisted her fingers in her skirt anxiously. "Are you sure your blood type is B negative, Plum Sauce? That's a really rare blood type."

"How rare?"

"Two percent of the population rare. And if your parents were both positive blood types, there's no possible way for you to have negative blood." He turned and looked at her. "Maybe your dad's not your dad?"

"Maybe," she replied softly, feeling close to tears. "But why wouldn't Mom have told me?" He shrugged and pulled her into a tight hug, rubbing her back gently as she cried.


	3. Chapter 3

By the end of her day, Penelope had worked herself into a tizzy. She'd spent all of her free time researching how blood types worked, hoping beyond hope that Kevin had read something wrong the other night. All her searching proved in vain, as each website she consulted agreed with his assertions.

Exhaling roughly with frustration, she pushed away from the computer bank, rubbing her stomach. "Oh god, here it comes." Standing, she made her way down the stairs, almost making it to the double doors before having to break into a jog. Barreling past another agent, she shut herself inside the handicap stall and quickly threw up. "I so hope this doesn't last long," she muttered before standing up and flushing away the evidence of her illness.

Washing her hands, she stared at herself in the mirror. She didn't notice any changes in her face yet, not even a glow, and she let her shoulders sag. Trudging back up to her office, she reclined on her sofa, staring up at the ceiling. Rossi came in moments later and stood next to her side. "Is everything okay, Kitten?"

"No, yes, I don't know. I'm kinda sick."

He knelt by her side, resting his hand atop hers. "Do you need to go home?"

"I don't think so. I just need to rest for a little bit. Sam thinks his team is really close to catching their unsub, so I have to be here in case they call. But you're leaving early. Hot date with Erin tonight?"

"Yeah. We're going to that little French bistro just outside DC. She's finally ready to admit we're going steady. It only took three months of more pleasant pursuits to convince her of that."

Penelope blushed, not wanting to think of their boss and Rossi entwined together. "Thank you so much for that mental picture. Oh, I got in contact with my brothers. So far, only Joey's responded, but it's a start, right?"

"Yes, it is a start." He kissed his fingers and then touched them to her forehead. "Feel better, Kitten." Standing, he looked over at the doorway and smiled. "And do not fall asleep here. When you're not feeling well, you need the comfort of your own bed."

"I'll try to follow orders, Sir. Now go and be with your lady love and quit worrying about me." He nodded and made his way to the door, closing it behind him. Penelope resumed her staring at the ceiling, letting the various possibilities run through her mind. _So, maybe Mom cheated. That would be awful. Oh god, what if she was raped? How could she stand looking at me every day, knowing where I came from?_

Her phone rang and she touched her Bluetooth. "Hey Pen, we need some info on the fly."

"No problem, Prophet. Just give me one second to get to my computer." She sat up and then stood, going over to her computer bank. "What do you need to know?"

As she looked up the information for Prophet, her mind wandered back to her situation. She yawned largely the moment she was off the phone and went back over to the couch. Stretching out, she pulled her blanket over her body and tried to calm down. Almost without meaning to, she fell asleep, her mind still focused on who she really was.

When she woke up, she was looking into Rossi and Strauss's bemused faces. "I thought I told you to go home, Kitten."

"Yeah, well, I figured sleeping here would be better than getting in an accident on the way home." She took hold of his hand, using it to pull herself up into a seated position. "It's also why I keep a go bag here." She checked her watch. "But why are you here already? It's not even seven."

"The rest of the team will be arriving shortly, Ms. Garcia. We've caught a particularly bad case here in DC. I'll start the briefing so you can get changed." Chief Strauss gave her a small smile and she nodded, picking up her bag and hurrying from the room.

It didn't take her long to change and she slunk into the war room, sliding into the seat next to JJ. The woman smiled at her kindly and she smiled back, taking her iPad from her hands, focusing on what Chief Strauss was saying. As she spoke, Penelope began to tap out notes of things to run searches on once her team was in the field.

"All right, we're heading out in ten minutes. Garcia, a moment, please?" She nodded, swallowing hard as the others filed out.

"Yes, Hotch?" she asked, rubbing her stomach absently.

"Kevin called me last night when you didn't call him. We had a long talk about your near future. Congratulations."

"Thank you." She smiled up at him and he held out his arm. Stepping forward, she accepted the quick hug he offered.

"You're not going to come with us out on the field, though. And I know JJ did, but she didn't inform me of the pregnancy until she was well into her second trimester. If everything goes well these next ten weeks, then we can reevaluate the situation."

Penelope nodded. "Have you told the others yet?"

"No, that's your news to tell. Now, we should probably get going. Have a good day, Garcia."

"I'll try." She followed him from the room and went over to her office. Since there was nothing to do for the next little bit, she set up the searches that would help the team out and then pulled out her personal cellphone. It was still a little early in the morning, but she hoped Joey would forgive her.

Dialing his number, she held her breath until he picked up. "Hello?"

"Hi, Joey. It's Penny. Thanks for all the information you sent earlier. I have a few questions, though."

"I'll try to answer as many as I can, Penny. I hope I can be of help to you."

"I take it you got all the records, since you were able to scan in the actual medical records of my parents. Do you know if you have my childhood medical records and birth certificate handy?"

"I'm sure I have them one of the boxes I inherited. But why do you need them?"

She sighed. "I don't think my dad was my dad."

"What?"

"My blood type doesn't make sense with who my parents are. I have a super rare blood type, Joey. Like, only two percent of the population in the world has B- blood. And both of my parents had positive blood. There's no way once or both of them had a part in creating me."

Penelope felt hot tears prickle her eyes as Joey sighed lightly. "Penny Lane, are you sure that you have your blood type right?"

"Yeah. I remember them talking about how difficult it was for them to get my blood tupe from the blood bank after I was shot."

"What? When did you get shot?"

She'd forgotten that she hadn't told any of her brothers about that. "Yeah, four years ago there was this crazy guy who convinced one of the upper management people that I was framing him for something I didn't intentionally do, so my best friend, Jayje, shot him. I'm all better now."

"Well, that's good, I suppose. But I'll need more of the details. Write me about it, okay? And don't leave anything out. This is why I should never have listened to Charles when he told us you were bad news. You could have died and we would never have known. Is there anything else I need to know about?"

"Not at the moment, no. I'll send you a link to my blog, you can get caught up there. But, do you think Mama would have cheated on my dad? Or worse, could she have been…"

"Until we know everything for sure, don't speculate. Everything will work out for the best."

"I hope you're right, Joey. I'll talk to you later."

"Later, Penny Lane. I love you." He disconnected the call and she turned back to her screens. Try though she might, she couldn't focus on the task at hand and began to do her own digging,

Hoping above hope that the hospital she'd been born in had digitized all their records, she quickly hacked into their records system, looking up her birth certificate. The PDF loaded slowly and she tapped her fingers impatiently. Just as the entire thing had loaded, a call came in and she touched her Bluetooth. "Office of Supreme Genius, how may I help you?"

"Hey, Kitten, did you find anything out in those preliminary searches?"

She relaxed back into her chair, smiling absently. "I haven't checked on them yet, my mind has been a little distracted."

"See, this is why you should have gone home last night. You don't get good sleep on a couch. Trust me, Erin and I found that out the hard way."

"Dave, do you have to keep putting those images in my mind?"

"Yes, if only to get you working again."

"Touché." She looked through the data compiled so far. "So, it looks like your unsub is one of those wily bastards who think they know everything about getting away with murder because they watch the ID channel. So far, I have bupkiss. Fret not, though. I'm certain that will change."

"Hopefully before we get a new set of bodies. Listen, would you go check up on Erin? This case unnerved her and I'm afraid that she'll be craving a drink. I won't let her fall back into that pattern, not when I can help it."

"I'll take care of your lover, don't worry. And if I get any information, I'll call you the minute it pops up."

"Thanks." They hung up and she leaned back in her chair, wondering why she had agreed to check in on Strauss. This was going to be a long day.


	4. Chapter 4

Penelope took a few minutes to collect herself and then she checked the PDF. It had finally finished downloading and she stared at the signatures of both her parents. It made no sense to her and she had to take a step back from the situation. Standing, she stretched and made her way out into the bullpen. Anderson glanced up at her, smiling, and she smiled back.

She walked down the stairs and turned down the hall outside the bullpen, wanting to get her duty done and over with. Going into Strauss's office, she stopped in front of the assistant's desk. "Yes?"

"I need to see Chief Strauss. Is she in?"

The woman looked down at the phone. "One moment, please." Pressing a button, she lifted the receiver to her ear. "Hi, Chief Strauss, Ms. Garcia is here to see you. Are you expecting her? Should I send her in, then? All right." She looked back up at Penelope. "You can head in now."

Penelope felt less than welcome as she went over to the other door, opening it. "Hello, Ma'am," she said quietly as she stepped inside.

"What can I do for you, Ms. Garcia?"

She went over to the desk and sat down gingerly, settling her hand on her stomach. "Rossi called a few minutes ago."

"And?" The woman sounded slightly bored, but Penelope noticed the tracks of tears on her cheeks.

"He just wanted me to check in on you."

"Oh, for heaven's sake, I'm not a child." She sighed and looked up at her. "I know you're only doing what he asked of you. I'm sorry I snapped." Penelope nodded. "Well, you're here now. Do you want to stay for lunch? It's Chinese day, so there's always more than enough."

"I'd like that, thank you." She didn't want to refuse the woman's kindness, that would be rude. "So, how is your relationship with Dave going?"

"We're muddling along. He wants to make things a little more official than I'm ready for." Penelope saw a faint blush appear on the woman's face and smiled softly.

"That's how Kevin was up until our breakup. But it sounds like you've tamed our wild Italian Stallion." The blush became more pronounced and Strauss cleared her throat. Penelope took this as her cue to back off. "This case is awful. I can't make any headway with any of the searches, and I know they're waiting on me. I don't know what to do. And it doesn't help that I'm distracted."

The assistant came in with a bag of delicious smelling food, setting it on the table before getting out two plates and two bottles of water. Erin stood and made her way over to the table, beckoning Penelope to join her. Once more, she sat across from the other woman. "Why are you distracted?"

"I reached out to my brothers, and I've only heard back from one." She took the container of honey chicken from her hands and spooned out a portion. "I didn't realize putting myself out there would be so nerve wracking." For some strange reason, she felt very much at ease with Erin, something she had never expected.

"It's hard to make reconciliations. At least you have one brother willing to talk to you. My ex-husband hasn't gotten to that point yet, all he does is yell. I hope that he will settle down soon, for the children's sake."

The woman was far more open than Penelope had ever seen her and she smiled gently at her. "You have three children, right?" Erin paused a beat and then nodded. "That sounds like a good number. Beginning, middle, and end." She speared a piece of chicken and brought it to her lips, only to feel her stomach roil. Setting the fork down, she opened the water and gulped at it.

"Are you feeling all right?" the other woman asked, reaching out to touch her arm gently.

"I'm sure it will pass. The baby doesn't realize Mommy needs food to feed him."

Erin smiled. "I was like that the first three months of my pregnancies. And then it seemed as if I couldn't get enough to eat." They continued the meal and when they had finished, Penelope helped her clean up. "We should probably get back to work. Dave's going to be fine, right?"

"Of course he will be. My turtle doves know how to take care of themselves." She went to the doorway and then turned back. "You should probably remind me to go home again tonight. I tend to have a lot of sleepovers in my office."

"I'll remember to do that, then." The quick smile set Penelope's heart at ease and she made her way back to her office feeling a little calmer. Sitting down, she continued to stare at the birth certificate, wondering what it could mean.

"Hey, Kitten. Erin told me you two had lunch together. Whatever you did really calmed her nerves, so thank you." She sighed in relief to see Rossi standing there. "What is it?"

"I'm so glad you're back. I need to pick your brain about something totally not work related. Do you have time?"

He glanced at his watch. "I have about an hour. Erin's stuck in a late budget meeting tonight and I'm waiting for her. What do you need?"

"So, I'm getting in touch with my brothers, well, stepbrothers, because of the pregnancy. I needed to find out my genetic profile to see if there would be any cause for worry." She knew she was babbling, and so she let him pull her up, leading her over to the sofa.

"And did you find something troubling in your history?" he asked kindly, clasping her hand tightly.

"Sort of. So, you remember the trouble they had finding my blood type specific blood when I was shot?" He nodded. "I have a super-rare blood type, it seems, and when I looked at my parents' records, there is no way I can be their child. I think my mom cheated on my dad. Or worse, she was…raped and kept me. It's the only two possible explanations." She broke down in tears and felt him encircle her in his arms.

"Crying so hard probably isn't good for the baby. I remember when Carolyn was pregnant with James that anytime she became upset he would kick up a storm. Always chose her bladder, too. And then she'd giggle and the tears would go away. But I don't think you're quite to that point in your pregnancy."

"No. I haven't felt him move yet. Kevin said that doesn't happen until twenty weeks." She caught her breath and curled up into him, needing the comforting warmth her offered.

"That confident you're having a boy?"

"No, but, well, we've all had boys so far, so I probably won't break the chain. There has to be something in the water." He chuckled and rubbed her shoulder as she sat up. "So, what do you think? Did my mom cheat or was she raped?"

"Why do you think it has to be only those two options? There is a third one that you're overlooking."

Her brow furrowed as she placed her hand over her stomach. "And that would be?"

"Adoption. You've told me before that your mom and stepfather had no children after they got married. Have you looked at the record thoroughly to see if your mom had trouble getting pregnant?" Penelope shook her head. "Well, doesn't that seem like a possibility?"

"Mama would have told me if that were the truth. Wouldn't she have?"

Dave shrugged. "I wouldn't know, Kitten."

"But there's the birth certificate!" she cried out suddenly. "If I were adopted, why would my mother and father's signatures be on the document? Doesn't that support my theory that Mama cheated, or worse?"

"Not necessarily, Penelope. I know that a lot of times, when the baby is adopted right after birth, the adoptive parents sign the birth certificate. Especially if it is a closed adoption. You probably wouldn't find anything in the public record. Remember that case we did a few years ago out in Arizona?" She nodded resignedly.

"So, now I have three options to keep in my head. Joey said he was going to dig further in his closet and see what he could find. I think I'm going to go crazy, Dave."

"Well, we can't have that." They both looked up to see Erin standing in the doorway. "The meeting just got finished, Dave. Why don't we run her home before we head out to supper?"

Dave nodded and helped Penelope to her feet. "Grab your purse and we'll head out."

"So, when do I get my personal autonomy back?" she asked tartly.

"When the baby moves out," Erin said with a laugh. "Good bye personal freedom, hello to your heart walking around outside your chest every day. It really sucks sometimes."

"Oh." She grabbed her purse and followed them out into the bullpen. She watched from behind as Dave slipped his arm possessively around Erin's waist, drawing her close. As they waited for the elevator, Erin rested her head on Dave's shoulder. "Is something wrong, Erin?"

"It was a long meeting. They had sherry." Dave sighed, rubbing her side. "I didn't slip."

"I'm proud of you, babe." He turned his head and kissed her head. The doors opened and they all stepped inside. "So, what's the status on our budget for next quarter?"

"Not good. Which makes no sense, given our success rate. The new woman, Sasha…"

"Alex."

"Yes, Alex. She looks like a Sasha, sorry. Anyway, we might have to let her go. I'm not about to lose any of the rest of you." She bit her lip as she shook her head and Penelope smiled a little as she recognized that gesture. It was one she often did herself, after all. "I'll let you do the honors if it comes to that."

"Of course, you'll make me the bad guy."

Erin laughed lowly. "I'll make sure to make it worth your while." Once more, Penelope was left with pictures in her head that she did not want and she could only grimace as she thought about the ride ahead.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'll be by about seven to pick you up, Kitten!" Rossi called out as she got out of the car. She nodded and waved to him before walking up to the door of her apartment and unlocking the door.

Penelope trudged up the stairs to her apartment and went in the door. She heard her radio on, playing classical music, and smelled food cooking. "Kevin?" she asked, but didn't get a reply. Moving into the kitchen, she set her purse in the counter and found the note on the table.

_Hey Plum Sauce, I have a big case I'm researching for cyber crimes. I'll be working through the night, so I used my break to bring you food. Hopefully we'll see each other tomorrow. I love you! Kev_ She sighed happily at the sweet note and opened her oven to pull out her favorite Pad Thai.

Turning the oven off, she sat at the table and wolfed down her food, finding herself ravenous. When she'd finished, she washed the dishes and made herself comfortable on the couch. There was a Dr. Who marathon on BBC America and she turned the television on to that channel, even though she'd seen all those episodes before.

It felt good to veg out for a little while, to let her rapidly racing brain focus on something fun and light. Not that the Weeping Angels could ever be considered fun. But at least the fear they induced was fake, was something she could deal with. Her favorite Dr. Who special, _The Waters of Mars_ had just started when her phone rang. Knowing that she couldn't pause it, she hit the mute button and answered. "Hello?"

"Hi, Penny Lane. How are you feeling tonight?"

"Well, I'd be much better if you hadn't sent my brain down a rabbit hole. It's been the only thing I could think of all day. And I've found out the baby doesn't like when I'm upset."

"Sorry about that. Listen, I found something that might help to narrow down your searches."

"What is it, Joey?" She was instantly on tenterhooks and she dug her free hand into her skirt.

"Well, Sarah was helping me look through everything and she found this really old photograph of your mom and dad. They're with a really young girl who is holding a baby, and they are obviously in a hospital room. On the back of the photo is your birthdate. What is going on, Sis?"

"It's beginning to look like I'm adopted, I guess. That was the third option Dave gave me today, the one I didn't want to believe was true. I mean, my real parents didn't want me? Is everything I know a lie?"

She heard her brother sigh. "Oh, Penny Lane, no. If this girl in the picture is really your birth mother, she looks young. Like fourteen, fifteen, tops. She probably thought she was doing the best thing for you at the time. And your mom is your mom, no matter if she gave birth to you or not."

"Thanks, Joey. I needed to hear that. Do you think you could scan that photo in and email it to me?"

"I'm doing you one better, Sis. It is in the mail and heading your way as we speak."

"You know how bad the postal system is at losing things!"

"Quit whining, Penny Lane. I sent it through a next day courier system. It will be at your office by 9:30 the day after tomorrow. Trust me, I want you to know the truth of your past. Call me as soon as you get the picture, okay?"

"Of course."

"Oh, and the girl is blonde, like you. That was the only resemblance I could see. Have a good evening. I love you."

"I love you, too." She hung up and plugged her phone back in the charger, before turning the sound back on the television. She had missed the first half hour of the special, but knew what she had missed, and so settled back into the couch. She loved the character of Adelaide Brooks and once more was sobbing by the end, the nobility of her decision touching her still.

Turning off the tv, she went into the bathroom and took a quick shower. After drying off, she stood sideways and looked at herself in the mirror. She had the barest beginning of a bump and her breasts had swelled somewhat. She wondered what the coming weeks would bring to her body. Smiling, she caressed her belly and bit her lip as she teared up. "Mama is going to find out all that she can for you, baby. It's important to know your roots."

Putting the towel in her hamper, she went out to her bedroom and pulled out a comfortable jersey nightgown, tugging it over her head before crawling in the bed. Laying on her back, she stared at the ceiling, sleep seeming a million miles away. If this girl really was her mother, at least they shared a hair color. But what else would their common ground be? Would she even want to talk to her?

Suddenly, she sat straight up in bed, her heart clenching. "What if she's an unsub I've helped to put away?" she murmured lowly. Getting out of bed, she padded over to where her cellphone was and picked it up, dialing Rossi.

"What is it, Kitten?" he asked through his pants, and she knew she had caught him in the middle of sex.

"Sorry to bother you so late, Dave. I just got off the phone with Joey, my brother. His wife, Sarah, found a picture today that confirms, maybe, option three. He sent it to me, but I can't help but think that, if I am adopted, what if she was an unsub? What if I helped to hunt her down? That would mean I have evil blood running through my veins and could be passing that on to the baby. Oh god, what if that explains why I'm so vicious in dealing with the people we hunt down. That's not me, Dave…"

"No, it's not, Kitten. And you don't know anything for sure yet, so quit speculating on things you don't know."

"But Dave…"

"No buts, Penelope. I know it's your nature to run down every possibility, but you'll drive yourself crazy by doing so. Are you in bed?"

"No, Sir."

"I'm not Sir to you, Kitten. Get in bed and I'll sing you a lullaby. And if you tell anyone else on the team I did this for you, I will disavow any and all knowledge. That goes for you, too, Erin." She heard the other woman's low laugh and giggled in response.

"I swear to never say a word, Dave." She padded back to bed and crawled in, pulling the sheet up to her chest. "Fine, I'm in bed. What are you going to sing to me?"

"The song I sang to James before they took him from me." She felt her throat clog with tears and put him on speaker, setting it on the nightstand next to her head. He must have done the same thing, because she could now hear Erin's sighs. " _Ninna nanna,ninna oh. Questo bimbo a chi la dò? So lo dò alla Befana, Se lo tiene una settimana. So dò all'uomo nero, Se lo tiene un anno intero. Ninna nanna, ninna oh. Questo bimbo me lo terrò_."

By the end of the song, she was asleep, barely registering Erin's strangled sob and Dave's heartbroken sigh. Her dreams were filled with strange images, and she was quite restless as she chased after the apparition of her mother. The alarm finally woke her at six, and Penelope sat up with a groan, still feeling exhausted, and yet grateful she'd taken a shower the previous evening so all she had to do was dress and eat.

She was just finishing up her makeup when her cell rang. Rushing out to her dresser, she answered. "Yes?"

"Good morning, Penelope. Dave said that we're about five minutes from your apartment. Will you be ready in that time?"

Even Strauss sounded tired and a vague recollection of her sorrow last night came through to the forefront of her mind. "I just need to finish putting on my mascara and then I'll be on the stoop. See you soon, Ma'am."

"When we're alone, feel free to call me Erin. Dave says I need to start trusting people more." Before Penelope could reply, the line had gone dead and she chuckled a little. Going back into the bathroom, she finished applying the glittery green mascara and then put her lipstick tube in her purse.

Sticking her phone inside as well, she picked up her keys and made her way out into the hall. Making sure her door was locked, she then added the key ring to her purse before going downstairs and out the door. Her feet had just hit the pavement by the fountain when Rossi's Cadillac pulled up.

Smiling, she waved at the couple as she made her way to the car. Sliding in the back, she fastened her belt as he took off. "You aren't usually this early, Rossi. Usually I'm waiting on you."

"Yeah, the military never really taught me punctuality. Good thing my lover adores being early for everything. Maybe some of her good habits will rub off on me."

"That would be a minor miracle, David." The droll way Erin said that sent Penelope into a fit of giggles and she met her boss's eye in the side mirror, watching Erin smile widely. "So, did you sleep well after he sang t you?"

"Kind of. Is it normal to have weird dreams while you're pregnant?"

Erin nodded. "I had some very odd dreams throughout all my pregnancies. During my first, I asked my mom the same question. And got the same answer."

"Well, that's good to know. At least I'm normal in one aspect." A soft giggle escaped from Erin and Penelope raised an eyebrow. "You find that funny?"

"A little. I think you're more normal than you realize." Penelope sighed happily and scooted back in the seat, watching the scenery pass by, thinking about how much she could get used to this kind of treatment.


	6. Chapter 6

The elevators opened up on the sixth floor and they all stepped out. Penelope watched Dave and Erin head towards her office. They held hands, she noticed, and something inside her melted at the tender gesture.

Penelope ambled up to her office, a dreamy smile on her lips. "Good morning, Plum Sauce."

"Kevin! Haven't you gone home yet?" She stepped into his open arms and let him hug her tightly.

After kissing her cheek softly, he moved back to look at her, exhaustion showing on his face. "No. I did manage to crack the case for cyber crimes, though."

"Head to my apartment then. It's closer than yours. I'll see you tonight?"

"Of course. And tomorrow night. I got that off, too, to recuperate. I'll make us something spectacular for supper."

"I'll hold you to that," she replied as she leaned in to kiss him gently. "I didn't throw up this morning. Maybe the baby has decided to be nice to me from here on out."

"I hope so, Penny." He yawned and rubbed his hand against his eyes. "Did you hear anything from your brothers?"

"From Joey, yes. But that'll have to wait until tonight. Go, shoo, before I have Anderson run you home." He nodded and kissed her cheek once more before stumbling over to the elevator. She watched him leave before going over to her computers and booting them up. It seemed that Persephone was running a little slow that morning and she ran a diagnostic on her systems to check everything out.

As it ran, she brought up her birth certificate once more, staring at her parent's signatures. "One more day until I have some answers," she murmured. The diagnostic dinged and she noticed an issue she had to take care of to keep her babies running at optimal speed.

That process took her all the way up to ten o'clock and she was surprised when Hotch knocked on her door. "It's time for the round table, Garcia. We're not going out on this case, giving the police a profile should be all that's needed to wrap this one up."

"Give me one second, Hotch." She minimized the window containing her birth certificate and stood up. "Who are we going to assist today, Sir?"

"Alabama. But we need the tablets, Garcia."

"Oh, right." She turned around and gathered them up, going back to his side. "Sorry. I take it the case isn't too brutal today?"

He looked at her sternly and she instinctively covered her stomach with her hand. "Didn't you do the preliminary searches I asked you to?"

"No. I'm sorry. I just completed a diagnostic on Persephone and then had to fix a few bugs. That took all my time this morning." They joined the others in the conference room and she slipped into the chair between Rossi and Morgan.

"We're helping out the Little Rock police on a serial hate crime offender. They're at a loss as to who could be committing these crimes." Hotch clicked the remote and brought up a montage of pictures. "These slurs were their first indication that something was going on in their city."

Penelope couldn't believe the filth that was scrawled on the walls. "Where were the epithets written?" Rossi asked, sounding as disgusted as she felt.

"Outside the gay bar. It gets worse." He clicked the button and the next slide came up. It showed cars in the parking lot of the bar that were defaced with similar epithets. Penelope became overwhelmed by the cruelty she saw in the pictures, and so she began to zone out, not wanting to see the hate any longer. "Garcia?"

Her head shot up and she stared wildly at Hotch. "Yes, Sir?"

"None of us know the meaning of this term. Will you please look it up?" She looked at where he was pointing and quickly called up Google Search on Safari. She threw up the Urban Dictionary website on the screen and typed in the term, bringing it up for all of them to see. Again, she zoned out when she should have been taking notes.

By the time she looked up again, the others had disappeared, leaving her and Hotch alone. "Hey?"

"What is on your mind today, Garcia? It's not like you to be so spacey. Is it because you're missing Emily today more so than normal? I know it's been a month, but sometimes our grief takes some time to manifest."  
"Has it been a month already?" She marveled at how time had flown by while she hadn't been looking. "I haven't talked to her in a month. How could I have let so much time pass by?"

"We're busy, and out of sight usually means out of mind. It happens to the best of us." He stood and came over to her side, sitting on the table in front of her. "So, if it's not her, what has got you so distracted today?"

She looked up at him and shrugged. "It's been a weird, rough, week. I'm sure you don't want to hear about it."

"Try me." One of his rare, gentle, smiles crossed his face and she nodded, placing her hand on her stomach.

"Well, you know about the baby, and that's occupying a larger part of my brain than I ever thought it would."

"Congratulations, again. Do you know how far along you are?"

"The doctor figured about eight weeks. We go to see an OB next week. Which brings me to why I'm also so distracted. Now our OB wants our complete family histories, which for me is slightly problematic."

"The fallout with your stepbrothers?"

She nodded. "And that bridge is being mended somewhat. Joey got in contact with me, and sent me some new information on my family. It turns out I may have been adopted as a baby. Joey found a picture of the day I was born, and it has my parents in it, along with a teenage girl holding a baby."

"Well, you don't know anything for sure, yet, do you?" He sounded like he was trying to comfort her and she shrugged. "You do?"

"Kind of. I have a super rare blood type that neither of my parents have. That's how Dave convinced me that adoption was a possible option to explain certain things in my medical history."

"And I see you're still fretting over things you don't know for certain." Penelope looked up at Rossi and shrugged once more. "The worry isn't good for the baby."

"I know. I think you're going to have to remind me of that a lot, though."

"Erin and I will be glad to do that, Kitten. Speaking of my girlfriend, do you want to come out to lunch with us?"

Penelope grinned. "I would love to, but I should probably have a working lunch today. I wasn't exactly paying the closest of attention during the briefing."

"Well, we'll miss you." He came up to her side and kissed her temple tenderly. "You're good for her, kiddo."

"I try." He left them alone again and she looked up at Hotch. "Is there anything I can do to make up for being so distracted this morning?"

"Well, there is that backlog of data than needs to be entered in their proper databases…"

"Okay," she said quickly, looking down at the table. His low laugh caused her to look up at him. "What?"

"I was kidding, Garcia. Go, have lunch with Dave and Erin and when you get back, I'll have Reid help you with the data backlog."

She grinned in relief and bounced out of her chair, hugging Hotch tightly. "Thank you, Sir!" He nodded and she jogged from the room, locking eye with Erin. "I got permission to come with you! Where are we going?"

"Dave hasn't told me yet. Has your day gone well so far?"

She shook her head. "I spaced out a lot during the briefing. I didn't realize how this thing about my parentage would bother me so. Your boyfriend says I'm overanalyzing things and that I just need to relax and go with the flow. But that's not who I am."

"Let me guess, you internalize things a lot, ruminating over them until you've worked yourself up into a tizzy."

"How did you know that?" she asked incredulously as Dave came out and joined them, slipping an arm around both their waists.

"I do the exact same thing. You just seem better at talking to your friends." A sad smile flitted across her face. "If I had been better at that, things might have turned out so differently."

Penelope reached over and grabbed hold of Erin's hand, squeezing twice before letting go. "Our choices make us who we are. I don't think I would change anything in my life, you know?"

"She's right, Erin. We're at the perfect place in our lives to be with each other." They stepped into the elevator, and after the doors closed, he leaned over and kissed her softly. "Now, do you think Greek food would sit well with the baby, Kitten?"

"Actually, that sounds perfectly yummy." She smiled a little as she rested her hand on stomach. Sighing, she pulled away from Rossi to watch him and Erin interact. She hadn't noticed before how adorable they were together, and she hoped that Kevin and she would one day be like that.

"What's on your mind, Penelope?" Erin asked as they stepped out into the parking garage.

"Just thinking about the future. And how I want it to be a happy one, like yours." Erin smiled sweetly and reached out to clasp her hand as they walked over to Dave's car. To Penelope's surprise, the woman joined her in the back seat. "How come..?"

"I spend enough time with Dave, I need to spend time with you and the others." As Rossi drove, she and Erin talked about how her pregnancy was going and what she could expect in the coming months. Penelope found herself welcoming Erin's advice, which was so odd, given how rough a start they'd had. But somehow, she felt comfortable in her presence and she nestled back in the seat, focusing on the sound of her voice.


	7. Chapter 7

When they got back to the bullpen, Penelope found Reid already in her office, organizing the files they had to enter. "You're back! Of course, I'm almost finished with the hard part now."

His gentle teasing brought a bright smile to her face and she nodded. "I totally planned it that way, boy genius. Less work for me to do." She took a seat behind her desk and pulled up the data entry program that she was accustomed to using. "So, are you ready to start handing me files to enter?"

"I was born ready," he teased and she smiled at him before turning to her scanner, feeding the first file into the top loader and saving them to a folder as they went along. It took the rest of the afternoon to finish up the backlog, and she heaved a sigh of relief when the last file was in her hands. "We make a good team, Penelope."

"Oh, is this our future brother?" a familiar voice asked, and she whirled around in her seat to look at the doorway.

"Frankie! What are you doing here?" she asked as she stood, welcoming him into her office even as she pressed the kill switch on her monitors.

"I'm in town on business, and when Joey called me with the news of your pregnancy and everything revolving around that, I couldn't stay away. Do you want to head out to supper with me?" he asked as he hugged her tightly.

"Well, Kevin was planning on making supper for me tonight. I should call him and let him know that our plans have changed."

"Oh, then who's this?"

She looked over at Reid, smiling sweetly at him. "This is Dr. Spencer Reid, one of my colleagues. Why don't you two talk while I call Kevin?" Frankie nodded and fell into an easy conversation. Kevin picked up on the third ring, and she smiled. "Hey, honey. Are you busy today?"

"Just a little, but I am going to be home in time for supper."

"About that, Kev. My brother, Frankie, he's in town on business, and wants to take me to supper, to get caught up a little. Would you mind terribly if I went out with him instead?"

There was a slight pause, and she wondered if she had hurt Kevin by asking this of him. "That would be fine, Plum Sauce, as long as I get to make dessert for you once you get home."

"I would like nothing more than that, Kevin." She smiled gently at the phone, even though she knew that he couldn't see it.

"Is your brother exactly like you pictured he would become?"

"Yes. Oh, Kev, I've missed them so very much, this is such a wonderful blessing in my life. I'll see you when I get home. I love you."

"Love you, too, Penelope." They hung up and she turned to her brother and friend. They were deep in conversation, and she smiled at them.

"I'm ready to head out at any time, Frankie. Kevin knows not to expect me for supper now." Her brother looked up and nodded to her, pulling out his wallet.

"Here's my card, Spencer. Keep in touch." The young doctor nodded as he shook Frankie's hand and quickly made his way from the room. "You work with interesting people, Penny Lane. I'm sorry that we froze you out of our lives for so long."

"Well, you're here when it matters. In the long run, that's what matters most, right?" He nodded and held out his arm to her. Slipping her hand into the crook of his elbow, she let him escort her from the room. As they waited for the elevator, she happened to meet Erin's soft eyes, and she smiled at the woman, receiving a tiny smile back.

"Who's that?" Frankie asked as the elevator doors closed.

"She's our boss. She used to be a real hardass, but ever since she started dating Rossi, she's softened from the Dragon Lady to someone I hope can be my friend." Penelope sighed. "I feel like I have this connection to her, ever since I told her about the baby. Is that weird?"

He shook his head and grinned at her. "No, your heart seeks out what you need at the moment. Let me guess, she probably has children, too."

Penelope nodded. "Yeah, two daughters and a son. I've just never really viewed her as maternal before. It must be the hormones," she mused, pulling out her phone and turning it to vibrate. "So, where are we headed to?"

"I thought Olive Garden. I'm in the mood for Italian."

"That's not real Italian, you know."

"And how would you know?"

"Rossi, one of the guys I work with, is teaching us how to make real Italian food, like his mother taught him to make. I'm sort of biased now." She tried to make sure she sounded teasing enough, before continuing to speak. "Though I suppose, for you, I can suffer through fake Italian food."

He chuckled lowly as he shook his head. "Thank you for lowering yourself down to the plebian masses once more. That Rossi guy, he's the one who's written all the books, right?"

"Yeah, he's our famous Dave." She smiled warmly. "But even he's gotten tamed by love. It really is sweet to watch."

"There's my Penny Lane, still the closet romantic." She nodded and stepped out of the elevator, following him to his car. As he drove, she found herself watching him, drinking in everything about him that had changed in the years that they had been separated. Finally, she noticed the wedding ring on his finger and grinned.

"So, who's the lucky lady?"

"His name is Jesse. We've been together for six years now, and are in the process of adopting a child." She squeed happily and reached out to squeeze his upper arm. "I'll have to bring him out on a vacation, so he can meet you and Kevin, too."

"Oh, do come back for Christmas! And convince the others to come, too! I'm sure that Rossi will let us use his cabin, and it is plenty big enough for all of us, I promise."

"I'll work on them. I bet Joe will agree easily enough, though."

"You're probably right there." He pulled into the parking lot and they walked into the restaurant together. Even though it was right at dinnertime, it only took about ten minutes for them to get seated, and she quickly settled on the lasagna, setting the menu aside to again commit her brother's features to memory. "I'm not going to disappear on you, Penny Lane."  
"I know. I just want to have a face to remember, when you go back home."

After putting their order in, Frankie relaxed against the back of the booth, smiling at her. "So, Joe told me you were expecting. Congratulations!"

"Thanks. It's a bit of a shock, seeing as how my doctor told me it would take a minor miracle for me to conceive. When I was shot, the bullet perforated my diaphragm, and damaged one of my ovaries." She rubbed the scar absently, noticing the way Frankie looked at her in concern. "My friend, JJ, took the unsub down. She has the best shooting skills I've ever seen."

"That's good to hear. Have you settled on a name for the baby yet?"

"We haven't really talked about that yet. I assume that will happen after we head to the OB for the first time." She sighed. "Did Joey also tell you that I might be adopted?"

"What?"

"Yeah. When I asked for the medical records, I found out that, with the blood type I have, I could not be my parents biological child. It's really thrown a monkey wrench into my life. Rossi says that I shouldn't worry so, since it's bad for the baby, but I can't help but think the absolute worst."

"And do you have any proof to back up this assertion?"

"Yes. There's a photograph of my parents in a hospital room, with a young girl holding a baby. He found it buried in the records box. I guess that it has my birth date written on the back. That's pretty conclusive evidence for me not being who I thought I was for the last thirty five years of my life."

"You are who you grew up to be. Just because you maybe had a different set of birth parents doesn't change the fact that you were raised by people who loved you, very dearly. Now, if it's confirmed that you're adopted, what will be your next move?"

She pulled a breadstick out of the basket and took a bite, needing a moment to think about that question. "I'm going to find her. I have to. I have to know my history. Do you think that's wise?"

He nodded as he took a bite of his salad. "I think so. You need to know if there are any diseases in your history, things that might be a problem later on. Now, here's a hard question. What will you do if she rejects you?"

"I hadn't thought about that. I suppose that it's a very real possibility. I don't know. I'll be devastated, I suppose. I mean, she is my mother, it creates a bond where there was none before."

"And you have a tender heart, Penny Lane." She nodded and ate, mulling over his words.

"Do you mind if we skip dessert? Kevin's making something for me, so that we can at least spend some time together tonight."

"That would be fine." After Frankie had paid, he led her back to his rental car and drove her home. "Here, these are all my current numbers. I made it before I came, so that you could have some way of keeping in contact. I love you, Penny Lane."

"I love you, too, Frankie." They hugged tightly and she kissed his cheek. "I promise that I will keep in touch. Don't be a stranger."

"I won't, I promise. We'll see you at Christmas, if not before."

She nodded and bounced up the stairs to her apartment building, quickly letting herself in. It was turning out to be a weird, yet wonderful, week.


	8. Chapter 8

"How did everything go, Plum Sauce?" Kevin asked as he turned from his position in front of the stove.

She smiled as she took a seat at the table, her chin coming to rest in her hand. "It went so much better than I thought it would. It looks like Charles was the one telling everyone that they needed to avoid me, but since I was the one who initiated contact, the others are coming around. Frankie and his husband want to come here for Christmas, and maybe bring Joey and Sarah along, too. Do you think that it's stupid of me to wish for that outcome?"

He shook his head as he came over to her side and kissed her softly. "No, I think it's always good to have hope, Penelope. Hope keeps us moving forward. And it sounds like you were right to reach out."

Penelope sighed as she nodded, pulling out her phone and scrolling through her notifications. There were texts from JJ and Erin, and she smiled as she read the encouraging words that they had sent along. "I need to text a few people, Kev."

"That's fine, I have to finish this chocolate sauce." He turned back to the stove and she landscaped her phone, quickly tapping out a reply to JJ. Erin, though, was a harder person to reply to, since she didn't know her as well as she should. Finally, she took a deep breath and began to tap away.

_Hey, Erin. Thanks for the well wishes. It went better than I thought it would, which is good. I just wish I knew who I belonged to, before the baby gets here. Who knows? Maybe I can have a real mom once again. I hope to see you at work tomorrow! xoxo, Penelope_

After pressing send, she set her phone aside and watched Kevin finish up as the timer on the oven went off. She went to get up, only for Kevin to wave a hand back at her, indicating that she should stay where she was. Shrugging a little, Penelope made herself comfortable once more and let out a small groan as she smelled the delicious scent of chocolate chip cookies. "What did you make for us?" she asked as her stomach growled impatiently.

"Ice cream brownies with fresh chocolate sauce." He set down a medium sized crock in front of her, and she sighed as she waved the scent over to her nose with her fingers. "While that cools, let me grab the ice cream." Kevin went over to the fridge and pulled the carton of French vanilla out of the freezer.

"Here, I can at least put the ice cream on top, honey," she said as she held out her hand expectantly. He smiled and opened her utensil drawer, taking out the scoop with a flourish that had her dissolving into giggles. "This is probably why I fell in love with you, you know. You can always make me laugh."

Kevin grinned goofily at her as she scooped out portions for each of them. "And you always make me stand in awe of how amazing you are. How smart you are. I want our baby to learn code from you. All right?"

She blushed deeply as she nodded. "Okay." Kevin poured some chocolate sauce on top of the dishes and then took a seat next to her. "So, what do you want to do tonight? I mean, the evening stretches before us unfettered."

"I was thinking that we could play some League of Legends. I know it's not your favorite MMORPG, but I thought that it would be nice to play something together."

She shrugged a little, not really enthused by that response. "I suppose."

"Or, you could play The Sims while I do some raids. I know how much you like meddling in the affairs of people, so I downloaded the latest expansion pack for you." This brought a smile to her face, and she nodded as she looked up into his face. "I sort of knew that you'd like that option better."

Leaning over, he kissed her cheek quickly before digging into dessert. "So, I'm not sure if I want to go in tomorrow."

"And why would you want to play hooky?" Kevin asked, staring at her over the rim of his glasses.

"Because that's when the picture is supposed to arrive. And then I get to start digging. I'm not certain that I want to go digging into my past, Kevin. I'd rather look to our future together and move forward and be happy. Is that too much to ask?"

In the back of her mind, Penelope knew that she was whining, but there was a small part of her that was glad to speak the truth that she had buried in her heart, trying to appear normal for everyone. "Penny, look at me."

She shook her head as she bent over her dish, spooning the sweet treat into her mouth so as to avoid talking for at least a few moments. Kevin waited patiently for her, though, and she swallowed hard, relishing the coolness of the ice cream as it slid down her throat. "What if she's in prison? What if I have bad genes running through my blood? I could pass that on to the baby! They could be infected by my blood, and I don't want to know that. Really, I don't."

She didn't realize that she had started to cry until Kevin was wiping at her cheeks, a soft smile on his lips. "Plum Sauce, I loved you when I thought that you were just some chick with serious GUI. I loved you when you turned down my proposal. It makes no difference to me if your birth mother was born with an extra finger on each hand, or if she embezzled a billion dollars from some corporation. She created you, and that's all that matters."

Penelope smiled and closed the small distance between them, capturing his lips in a tender kiss. "And I think that I just fell in love with you a little more, just for that alone." She took a few more bites, and then wiped a napkin across her mouth. "Let's finish these in the living room. I'll even let you run your raids on the television."

"Ooh, that sounds like a good deal." Kevin turned and slid off the chair before reaching for her hand and guiding her into the living room. Then he helped her to get situated on the sofa before handing her first her laptop and then her dish. "Is there anything else that I can get you, Penny?" he asked.

"Some water might be nice."

He nodded and went back into the kitchen, and she booted up her computer, bringing up The Sims. "So, are you going to make a new family based off the information you've found out so far?" he asked as he set the glass of water next to her on the table.

"Would that I could. Unfortunately, you can't make teenagers pregnant in this game. Joey said that the girl holding me, or who he thinks might be me, was really young. Like fifteen, tops." A horrid thought flitted through her brain, and the look must have shown on her face, since Kevin sat next to her and reached out for her hand, clasping it.

"Tell me what's going through your brain, Penelope. It's better to get it out then to keep it in."

She nodded and took a deep breath. "What if the reason that my mom gave me away was because she was raped? What if I find her and she wants nothing to do with me because I remind her of one of the most terrible moments in her life?"

"Or maybe the condom failed, and she decided that while she couldn't raise you well yourself, she would do damn well anything to make certain that you went to a loving family who would do anything to raise you right." She nodded a little before releasing a long breath. "And she must have loved you very much, to pick such lovely parents for you. You were blessed, Plum Sauce, no doubt about it."

Penelope found herself tearing up once more as she turned her attention back to the monitor. "Sometimes, I don't feel that way. I guess that I'll just have to keep you around, so that you can remind us of how much we've been blessed."

"That sounds like the perfect idea." She glanced at him, and saw that he was smiling, and she smiled back as she started a new family. "All right, when you make my avatar, make me buff, okay? Like I could kick vicious vampire ass."

She giggled a little as she nodded. "I suppose that I can do that, Kev." He grinned at her once more before turning back to the television and getting everything set up. There was comfort in knowing that he would be with her through all of this, and she knew that somehow, she would make it through tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

"Remember, everything is going to be okay, Plum Sauce. And as soon as you get the envelope, you can come find me in my office and we'll look at it together, if you want. Or if you want to wait until we get home to open it, that would be fine, too." Kevin leaned in and kissed her softly before turning and heading for the door. "And if you need me, you know where to reach me, all right?"

"All right. Now go, I don't want you to be late, Kev."

He nodded and took off out of the bullpen. The moment he was gone, Penelope let out the breath that she had been holding. A small part of her heart was beating out of time with the rest of her body, and she knew that that was a direct result of her nerves acting up. Pushing away from her desk, she stood and made her way over to her stash of snacks, pulling out the bag of dehydrated banana chips and starting to munch on them as she returned to her station.

As she stared at the monitor, she found that she couldn't even concentrate long enough to run a basic search. A part of her brain hoped that none of her teams would need her to start aggregating data until after the envelope came, because at this rate, she would be useless until then, anyway. Feeling her stomach tie itself up in knots once more, Penelope set aside the chips and stared blankly at her monitors.

The sound of the phone ringing startled her from her trance, and she scrambled to pick it up on time. "Office of Supreme Genius, what can I do for you?"

"They actually let you answer your phone like that, Penny Lane?"

She relaxed as she recognized her brother's voice. "Yes, actually, they do. After all, without me, nothing would get done around here. But why are you calling?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I got a notification from the courier, and it said that your letter should be delivered in the next hour or so. They couldn't be more specific than that, I'm sorry."

She shook her head a little, as the nervousness filled the pit of her stomach once more. "That does me no good, Joey. Now I'm just going to think about that until it arrives."

"I'm sorry, honey, but I thought that having a concrete time might help ease that feeling a little. And I'm really hoping that you find the answers you're looking for."

"You and me both. Though I can't imagine why Mom never told me about this. I would have loved her still the same, even if she didn't give birth to me. You know?"

"I do, because we came to love her like our mother, even though she wasn't ours, so to speak." Joey paused, and in the background, Penelope could hear a small child crying. "That's Joe, I think he just fell. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, your son comes first. I'll call you as soon as I know more, okay?"

"Sounds good. Love you, Penny Lane."

"Love you, too, Joey." They hung up, and she took a few deep breaths, feeling the roiling in her stomach grow out of control. Knowing that she was close to losing her control, she stood up and ran for the door, hurrying down the stairs and out to the bathrooms. Thankfully, she made it into a stall before she lost the contents of her stomach, but she still felt awful. Sighing deeply, she rested her head on her shoulder as she took a few deep breaths.

"Here, I got you some wet paper towel."

Penelope looked up to see Erin standing there, concern marking her feature. "Thanks, Erin. I guess this is going to happen for the rest of the pregnancy, right?"

"If you're unlucky. I was blessed with easy pregnancies, and didn't have much morning sickness past the first trimester." She knelt down and reached out, as if to stroke Penelope's hair before stopping her hand in midair.

"That gives me hope," Penelope murmured as she pushed away from the toilet and flushed away the contents, letting Erin help her to her feet. "How did you know that I was in here? I didn't think that anyone else was here yet."

"David and I just got into the office, and I saw you from the corner of my eye. I know how awful it feels to lose your breakfast. Here." Erin rummaged in her pocket and pulled out a piece of hard candy. "It has a bit of ginger in it, and that should settle your stomach."

"Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without having someone to look out for me." They shared a smile, and Penelope unwrapped the candy before popping it in her mouth. "I should probably get back to my work now."

"Have Kevin work on your searches for an hour or two. Your stomach needs to get on a more even keel, and I know how hard it is to concentrate on anything besides the will to not throw up once more." There was a sweet smile on the older woman's face, and Penelope nodded before closing the small distance between them and hugging her tightly. "Penelope?"

"I don't know, I'm going to blame it on the hormones. But you really looked like you could use a hug. Somehow, I think that there's a tender heart buried in you."

A soft blush sprang up in her cheeks as she awkwardly stepped back and forth, never really acknowledging Penelope's remark. "I, I have to get to work now. Make certain that you take it easy today, all right?"

"Yes, Ma'am," she replied, watching Erin leave the bathroom. Knowing that she didn't want to blow Erin's cover, Penelope counted to twenty before exiting herself and making her way back up to her office.

Not even ten minutes later, someone knocked on her door, and she felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach once more. Taking slow, deep, breaths through her nose, she got up and made her way over to the door, opening it to see Agent Anderson standing there. "A certified letter arrived for you, Penelope. I brought it up to you the moment it arrived. What's in it?"

Suddenly, she didn't feel like sharing what was about to be revealed with anyone, not Anderson, not Kevin, not Dave, not Erin, and she snatched the envelope from the man's fingers, holding it tightly to her chest. "Something private," she managed to bite out before closing the door in his shocked face.

Though the door, she could hear him sputter and a small smile slipped across her face as she drifted over to her couch and took a seat. With trembling hands, she held the envelope out in front of her, staring at it. Joey's familiar writing comforted her a little and she took a deep breath before turning it over in her hands and starting to pull the tab that would open up Pandora's box.

She hadn't realized that she was crying until she saw the first drops splash down the cardboard. Penelope knew that she didn't want to mar the picture, so she rested the envelope in her lap before swiping her knuckles across her eyes, blinking back the tears. "You can do this, Penny. You need to do this."

Feeling renewed, she picked up the envelope once more and pulled out two pieces of cardboard. Another smile crossed her lips as she recognized the care Joey had taken in packaging the picture so that it wouldn't get bent in transit. Taking a deep breath, she removed the top piece of cardboard and looked down at the picture that would change her fate forever.

Just as Joey had said, there were her parents, standing next to the hospital bed of a very young girl. And in her arms was a small pink blanketed bundle that Penelope assumed was herself. Reaching out, she traced the planes of the girl's face, an overwhelming feeling of familiarity sweeping over her the longer she looked at her. It was almost as if she knew the girl, which made no sense.

Taking another breath, she turned the picture over and saw that someone had written on the back of it. It was easy to make out her parents' names, since she had known them forever. But there were two unfamiliar things on there, too. One was a set of initial, E. S., and the other was a name. "Ariadne," she whispered, wondering if that was what she was supposed to be named. "Well, at least my parents decided to keep the mythological connection."

There was something about the girl's face that called to her, though, and Penelope couldn't stop glancing back at it as she tried to refocus her mind on what she needed to do for the day. She knew that Erin had told her to get Kevin to cover for her, she just didn't want to do that to her teams. She had to be on her A-game, no matter what occupied her heart and mind. Setting aside the picture, she began to start her searches for the day, vowing to use her lunch hour to start digging a little more into this new piece of the past that she had been given.


	10. Chapter 10

It seemed like it had taken a thousand years for lunch to finally arrive, and Penelope sighed with obvious relief when she was able to push away from her desk and head out to the commissary. Rossi was just stepping out of the office as well, and she gave him a small wave before joining him on the stairs.

"I'm a little surprised that we didn't get called out on a case today," he said as they headed out into the hall.

"Well, there wasn't really a case that needed our attention today. That could all change tomorrow, you realize, but this also give me a chance to do a little more digging into the picture that I was sent."

"Oh, it finally arrived?"

She nodded and touched her stomach as she felt nervous butterflies start to dance again. "It has, and I'm left with more questions than answers. But my mom is so beautiful!" A large smile spread across her lips. "As soon as I'm finished eating, I'm going to start digging into the adoption records to see what I can find out about her."

She almost mentioned the fact that she was supposed to have a different name, as well, but something held her back, and she watched his face carefully for a reaction. "Well, you'll have to show me that picture soon, Kitten. Maybe I know her," he teased.

"Why? Because you know all the beautiful women of the world?" she teased back, and he nodded. "You are such a Casanova, I swear."

"But I've been tamed by love," he replied as he glanced over at the door. She followed his line of sight and saw that Erin was just walking through, seemingly on a mission as she talked on her phone. In that moment, she knew why the man could fall in love with her, since there was something so lovely about her. There was also something hauntingly familiar about her, moreso now that she had seen the picture of her birth mother. Again, she knew that her mind was trying to make connections where there probably were none, and she shook her head a little. "It looks like our lunch date has been cancelled. Do you want to grab something to eat with me?"

"I think that I'd like that." Dave smiled as he tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow, guiding her out to the elevators. Erin reached her doorway, turning to look for him, Penelope supposed, giving them a warm smile and a wave before pointing to her phone. Dave nodded, and then they stepped onto the elevator, heading down. "So, where are we headed?"

"Well, I was thinking about this café just around the corner, they have some amazing crepes."

"That sounds delicious, actually." They smiled at each other and then he took out his phone to text someone, most likely his Erin. It was a quiet ride down to the ground floor, and then she was following him down the block. The moment they reached the café, she smiled. She had been meaning to try this place for ages, and was glad to finally get the chance to do so.

After they'd placed their order, Penelope rested her head in her hands, staring wistfully out the window, thinking about what she was going to do next. "Penny for your thoughts, Kitten?"

"I'm just wondering what I'm going to do next, Rossi. I have her picture, I know that she was super young when she had me, so she'd be about Erin's age now. Which means that she could be a highly successful business woman by now, or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or a respected professor, or anything."

"And you want to go digging into the adoption records to find out exactly who she is."

She gave him a sheepish grin before nodding. "It wouldn't be that hard to do, either. That's like, the most basic level of hacking, and then I could find out every single detail of her life before I contacted her. Just in case she didn't fit with the picture I'm building of her in my mind. Because this picture is really optimistic."

Dave reached out and took hold of her hand, squeezing lightly. "That optimism is one of the things that I love about you, Kitten. You've always managed to find the good in everything, even when it seems like the world is falling apart. But do you really want to find out all that from the computer and not from her lips? I mean, there are some things that should only come from a mother's hand."

A soft sigh escaped her lips as she shrugged. "Kind of. It might be easier to digest things if I can see it in black and white first. I could always pretend that the stories were fresh."

He laughed as he shook his head. "You have to do what you think is best."

Their food came then, and she tucked into the crepes that he had suggested. They were delicious, and she found that the food helped to settle her nerves. "Thank you for this, Dave. Seriously, I needed a break before I started the task of digging into the past. If I find something that isn't the greatest, can I come cry on your shoulder?"

"My door is always open to you, Penelope. Just make certain that you knock first, though, just in case Erin is with me. I wouldn't want to embarrass you."

Penelope felt her cheeks turn warm and knew that she was blushing. "Really, there are some images that I do not want in my brain."

"That's what I'm good for, Kitten," he teased before they finished their meal. Once Rossi had settled the bill, they got up and made their way back to the office. Penelope welcomed his arm around her waist, since again it helped to settle her rapidly beating heart. "Now, if there's one thing that I want you to do this afternoon, it's to not worry. God has His hand in whatever happens next, and I know that I'll be here to help support you, if you need it. And I'm certain that Erin feels the same way."

"Thanks, I really do appreciate that." She gave him a small smile as they stepped onto the elevator. Once more, she was quiet as the elevator rose, thinking about where to start digging the moment she was safely ensconced in her office.

Parting ways, she hurried up the steps and slipped behind her door, locking it behind her. There was no way that she wanted to be interrupted as she started to look into her past. With a soft sigh, she sank down into her chair and rolled over to her personal computer, calling up her search engines and starting to hunt down her birth certificate. Once that was done, she knew where to look for the adoption records and suddenly her fingers turned cold as ice. Nerves were getting the better of her, she knew that full well, but she didn't want to stop when she had just begun.

Taking a deep breath, she leaned back in her chair and stared up at the ceiling. "What would David Rossi do?" she pondered aloud. "He would tell me that I'm worrying too much, that I shouldn't overthink things and should just dive right in. I won't know anything until I get more information."

With renewed resolve, Penelope sat up and began to run a search of the adoption records in her home state for the day of her birth. From there, she weeded out the obviously incorrect ones, finally coming up with one sealed record. Her stomach clenched as her cursor hovered over the button that would unseal those records to her. A part of her wanted to just make it quick, to rip it off like a bandage, but another part was still holding her back.

"Just do it, Penny Lane. You'll know nothing until you do." Taking a deep breath, she clicked on the records and watched as they filled in before her gaze. It was a comfort to see her parents' names on the document, and her eyes filled with tears as she looked for the names of her birth mother and father. To her disappointment, the father space was blank, but there, on the screen in front of her, was her mother's name. "Erin Shaw," she murmured, reaching out and touching the letters of her name, marrying name and face as she thought about the picture she had been sent.

Glancing down, she saw the birthdate for her mother listed as February nineteenth. The year startled her, though, and some quick subtraction told her that this Erin Shaw had only been fifteen when she'd given birth to her. "You were so young," she said as she picked up the photo and stroked her thumb over her mother's face. "So young and so brave to have me and then give me to people you thought could give me a better life." She let the tears she had been holding in started to slip down her cheeks, and she swiped them away, suddenly needing to tell someone else her news.


	11. Chapter 11

Getting up from her desk, Penelope rushed over to the door and wrenched it open, looking down into the bullpen. Most of her team were away from their desks, but she spied Derek popping into the coffee nook. As a wide smile spread across her face, Penelope fairly flew down the stairs to be by his side, grateful that it would be her best friend who would hear the news first.

"Whoa there, Hot Stuff. What has you so excited?" he asked as he stirred his coffee, a lazy smile curving his lips upward.

"I found her! Well, kinda. My birth mom has a name!"

He chuckled a little as he reached out to pat her shoulder. "All right, how about you take a few deep breaths and then tell me everything that you've found out so far."

Penelope nodded as she took his advice, feeling her excitement start to wane into something more manageable as they took a seat at the table. "So, I knew that my adoption records would be sealed, but they were really easy to crack. I just have to hope that I can come up with a good excuse if anyone asks any questions."

"Oh, Baby Girl, you need to stop walking that fine line."

"I know! It's just, this was super important! I mean, with the baby on the way, I really do need to find out a medical history, just in case there's a susceptibility to cancer, or Huntington's disease, or something like that."

Just as Derek was about to answer, Hotch came out of his office and took a look around the bullpen. Penelope nodded a little as she nudged Derek to stand up and they made their way to the conference room, followed by the rest of the team. Alex closed the door behind them, and Penelope gave her a small smile as she took a seat next to Derek.

Hotch cleared his throat and looked around the room. "I'm sorry, I've just received this case from the Grand Blanc police department, and there wasn't enough time to have Garcia pull together any background on what's going on. Suffice it to say, we're going to be hitting the ground running, and I'm expecting the best from you."

"What kind of case will we be working on?" Rossi asked, and Derek nodded in agreement, frowning a little in Hotch's direction.

"Child abduction. Last night, four girls were taken from a slumber party they were having, and there wasn't any indication that it was a violent incident."

"What's our clock at, then?" Alex asked, tension making her body so stiff that Penelope wondered if there was something about the case that was bothering her.

"Victoria Farley, one of the mothers, was the last one to check on the girls, and her daughter told her that they were fine, in typical eight year old fashion. That was at ten last night, and when the father went to check on them this morning at eight, they were gone."

"Shouldn't they have been in school?" Reid asked, his eyes narrowing as he began to try and piece the few bits they had together.

"All four girls are homeschooled, so that wasn't an issue. Now, Garcia, I'm going to need you to run background on the girls' families while we're in the air, and I'll need it as soon as you find it."

She nodded and pulled out her phone, taking down the names as he spoke them, making certain to star Tim Farley's name. There was always something hinky when it came to the first person, she'd found that out over the years. After taking down all the information, she got up and hurried over to her office, listening to Hotch give the familiar wheels up command as she left.

Settling behind her computers, she began to do a thorough background search on Tim, not liking the look of him from the driver's license picture she had found straight off the bat. A part of her hated the fact that she was negatively profiling him, but when someone looked like a rat, it was awfully hard not to. Keeping his information up on her main screen, she began to look into the background of the other parents on her second system.

There wasn't a lot to go on, most of them were those squeaky clean uber-Christian people, but Penelope had the sinking feeling that this was just a cover for the cesspool that lay beneath. A queasy feeling settled into the pit of her stomach, and she fought to keep herself from throwing up, taking long, slow, breaths and sipping at water, before she finally gave up and scurried out of her office and running over to the bathroom, making it to the nearest stall in time before she threw up.

Once she felt better, Penelope stood and flushed the toilet before making her way over to the sink and washing her face clean. Letting out a low groan, she adjusted how her glasses sat on her face, trying to smile at her reflection in an effort to actually feel better. Making her way back up to her office, Penelope found that her knees ached from the way that she had thumped down onto the floor, and she made a small mental note to be more careful the next time she had a bout of sickness.

When she looked at her main screen, she saw that she had a ping on the Farleys, and she frowned as she found out that Tim had a criminal background that wasn't seen on the surface, since he had taken his wife's name when they married. Digging at that a little more, she was shocked to see that he had kidnapped an ex-girlfriend back in his twenties, and somehow, she knew that was important.

Quickly dialing Derek's number, she waited for him to pick up. It was then that she thought about her birth mother, and Penelope realized that she wanted to meet her, as soon as she could. Finally, he picked up, and she couldn't help but exclaim, "Finally!"

"We were in a briefing with the Captain, and I couldn't just whip my phone out, Baby Girl."

"Oh, I rather think it's other things that you can't just whip out, Derek," she teased, unable to let the opening pass her by. He chuckled lightly, and she could just picture him shaking his head as well, like he usually did with her bad jokes. "Anyway, I do have a reason for calling. All is not well in the Farley household. Like, Tim served time in prison for kidnapping his former girlfriend not well. I'll do some more digging, specifically on them, since this seems to be the most pertinent direction to follow."

"You really sound like you're becoming a profiler there, Garcia." She sighed, knowing that he was just trying to get a rise out of her. "Seriously, though, if you think this is the right decision, go for it. I'll give you a call if there's something that should shift things another way. And have you found out any more about your mother?"

"No. I'm trying to focus on the task at hand, since the girls are so much more important than my trivial concerns."

"But you're thinking about her."

"Of course. And I really want to meet her, Derek, if she's still alive. And in the country. It would be a little much to go to Nepal or New Zealand, you know."

"No, it wouldn't, actually. You should always follow where your heart leads. Now, try to keep from being distracted, and I'll give this information to Reid and see what he can do with it. Talk to you soon!"

"You got it, Hot Stuff." She disconnected the call, and then settled back in her chair, staring at the picture of Tim and Victoria that was on her screen. "I don't understand how parents can do horrible things to their children," she murmured as she rubbed her stomach absently.

Try though she might, she couldn't find out much more on Tim's prior conviction, so she decided to track down the ex-girlfriend. That didn't take too long, and she didn't even hesitate to call the woman, explaining quickly who she was and why she was calling. Tara was open to speaking with her, and Penelope took copious notes before they said their goodbyes. And since she took them on her phone, she sent the file on to Derek before getting up and making her way down to the coffee nook.

Kevin was there, pouring a cup of coffee and she came up to his side, wrapping her arms around his waist as she breathed in deeply. "I miss you, caffeine."

"You're allowed to have a cup or two of coffee a day, Plum Sauce."

"I know, but I probably would want a lot more, in the long run, so I'm just cutting it all out. Maybe we could go looking for a nice tea that has no caffeine after work? There are a few other things that I'd like to get for the apartment, too."

"Sounds good." He pecked her cheek before pulling away from her and taking a seat at the table. "Now, what is on your mind?"

"How do you know that I have something on my mind?" she asked as she took a seat across from him.

"Because I know you."

Penelope smiled and gave him a small nod. "I was talking with Derek earlier, and, I really, really, want to meet my mother, when I find her. Do you think that's stupid?"

"No, I think that's a great thing, Penelope. She's your mother, after all. And if things go well, then our child will have two grandmothers."

She hadn't thought about that, either, and quick tears pricked at her eyes as she nodded a little, her hands coming to rest on her stomach as she tried that word out in her head. She sent up a quick prayer to whichever deity was listening that she could make this new dream come true.


	12. Chapter 12

Penelope hunkered down on the couch, pulling a blanket over her lap as she tried to get into a comfortable position. Kevin was puttering around in her kitchen, and she knew that he was making her some ice cream, since she had found herself craving that. Finally, she turned on to her side so that she could watch the television, knowing that Kevin was going to play League of Legends for a little bit before going home.

"I found some peanut butter gelato in your freezer."

"Perfect," she replied as she took the bowl from his hands, watching him settle into the rocking chair and power up his laptop, sending the picture to her television as he joined a raiding party and then began to play. "I really need to learn this game, you know. It looks fun."

"You just like the way you can ambush others."

"Guilty!" she sang out, and he shook his head a little as he got up and brought his laptop to her. "Ooh, I get to learn now?"

"Yeah, this is a pretty good group, they'll watch your back as we go along." She grinned before kissing his cheek a little. "Now, I'm only going to be here for an hour, since I drew the short stick and have to take the early shift to cover for McMillan."

"All right," she replied as she lifted her legs, letting him settle down on the other end of the couch. It didn't take her long to learn the basic functions of the game, but she was disappointed that she had to quit so soon. The hour that Kevin had had went by so quickly, and she was soon kissing him good night and watching him go out the door.

As she finished eating her ice cream, Penelope stretched out on the couch once more, flipping through the channels, but not finding anything that caught her eye. Once finished, she picked up her laptop and let it set on her lap, uncertain of what to do next.

A part of her wanted to just dive right in, to find out everything about this Erin Shaw that she could, to figure out her past, and her present. Her fingers hovered over the keys, however, and she wondered what had her so nervous about discovering what was there, waiting for her to figure out. It was a puzzle, it was an enigma, and it was everything that Penelope hated to leave unknown. If she were looking into an unsub's life, she wouldn't hesitate to dive right in, to turn over every stone in their past until she knew every single iota of information on them.

This, though, was much more personal, and she thought that might be a reason for her hesitancy. Sighing a little, she picked up her phone and turned it over and over in her hand, wondering who she could call to talk about this. All of her close friends would just say what she wanted to hear, she needed an unbiased opinion, and there was only one person that she could think would give her that. Unlocking her phone, she scrolled through her contacts until she found Erin's name there. It was a bit ironic, that her mother and her Section Chief should share a first name, but Erin was fairly popular, and besides, there was Erin and Aaron on her team, too.

It only took a moment before she pressed her finger on Erin's number, and then she was bringing the phone up to her ear, waiting for the connection to be made. "Penelope? Is everything okay with the baby?"

The concern there helped set her heart at ease, and she gave a small nod before answering. "Yeah, everything's fine there. I just, I need some advice, and I need it from someone who can give me an honest opinion. Since we haven't really been on the friendliest of terms until recently, I'm hoping that can be you."

There was a soft, almost happy, sigh in the background, which made Penelope smile a little wider as she wiggled her feet, waiting for Erin's response. "All right, what do you want to ask me?"

"So, I'm looking for my birth mom, yeah?"

"Yes."

"Well, I found out her name today, and now I'm trying to decide if I should go digging and try to find out everything about her before I meet her, or if I should just find out who she is now and reach out, letting her tell me everything about her past. There's a large part of me that wants that instant gratification, especially since I do know her name, but…I'm waffling. If you were in my position, what would you do?"

There was a long pause, and Penelope twisted the fabric of her skirt around her fingers as she waited to hear Erin's voice once more. When it came, though, Penelope instantly picked up on the strange, almost melancholy, sound in it. "I would just find out her contact information and then reach out. After all, there was probably a very good reason as to why she gave you up for adoption in the first place. If you don't get the answers you need after you do reach out, then I would ask for her medical records, just so that you know if there are any hidden genetic bombs that you might need to plan for."

Penelope released the breath that she had been holding, before letting out a soft sound of agreement. "That's actually the best advice I've gotten from anyone, Erin. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, but, okay, don't take this the wrong way. I really appreciate this. Being able to call you like this, and know that you're listening, well…it's a good thing."

"And now you sound like Martha Stewart," Erin said with a light laugh. "I have to let you go. David's trying to beep in, and I don't want to miss our nightly call. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sounds good." They hung up without really saying goodbye, which she knew was par for the course with Erin. Flopping back against the couch, she opened her laptop and took a look at the notes she had made on her mother's identity on her phone as everything booted up.

Once everything was ready, she logged into her system at the office and once more called up her search engines. She had a good place to start, since the birth certificate had listed her mother's birthdate. Using that information, along with the fact that she knew where her mother had been living at the time of her birth, she searched for records on Erin Shaw. She was able to find her birth certificate, and from there learned her own grandparents' names, which made her smile.

Still, that wasn't enough to tell her who the woman was now, so she looked for newer information on the woman, hitting pay dirt when she finally uncovered a marriage certificate for her. This was closer to her current home, having been issued in Annapolis, and Penelope felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach when she saw that name of the name that her mother had married. "Matthias Strauss," she murmured, as the implications around the name washed over her. "No, it can't be. She would have given me some clue that she had given a child up for adoption, I know she would have. There is no way…"

Furiously, she typed away at her computer, logging into the FBI mainframe and then poking around in the personnel files. And just as she went to bring up the information that could potentially change her life, in myriad different ways, she hesitated. Feeling the same nausea that she had every morning since she had discovered her pregnancy, she set the laptop onto the coffee table and ran over to the bathroom, sinking to her knees as she bent over the bowl and threw up. It didn't take long to regain control of herself, and she sat back, wiping away tears and taking deep, calming, breaths as she got to her feet.

After washing her face and flushing the toilet, Penelope went back to the couch and sank down onto the cushion, picking up her laptop once more and staring at the screen. Somehow, she had to reconcile the information she had just found out with what she had thought about Erin for so many years previously. And the only person she could call to talk about this was Kevin.


	13. Chapter 13

Picking up her phone once more, Penelope dialed Kevin's number from memory, hoping that it wasn't too late for him. Still, panic coursed through her veins as she drummed her fingers anxiously against her stomach, hoping that she wasn't disturbing their baby too much with the rhythm. If their baby even knew what was happening outside it's little home in the womb. She let out a watery laugh, knowing that she was coming close to hysteria, and she desperately hoped that he would pick up soon, and tell her that she was making false logical leaps, that she had made a mistake somewhere in her research, and there was no way that Erin Strauss could actually be her mother.

Finally, she heard the call connect, and then he was speaking. "Plum Sauce?" He sounded exhausted, like she had woken him up from sleep already, and she winced before taking a deep breath. "Penelope? Is something wrong with the baby?"

She hated the anxiety that filled his voice at her inability to answer him, and she took another deep breath before bursting into tears. "I, I think I found my mother, Kevin. But I need you to go over this data, and tell me if I'm correct in my thinking."

"It's almost eleven, I need to get up in three hours to head to work. Are you certain this can't wait until tomorrow?"

She started to hyperventilate at the idea of not being able to get this out of her system right away, and a small part of her wondered if she would have been better off calling Derek, at least he would have listened, even he would be exhausted the next day. "I wish that it could, but I really think that my life could fall apart in the next few days if what I think is true, really is true."

"All right, give me fifteen minutes to get back to your place. And I'll have to crash there for the rest of the night."

"That's fine. I'll probably need you by my side, anyway. I, I love you?"

"I love you, too, Penelope."

He hung up and she clutched the phone to her chest, rocking back and forth as she waited for him to arrive. Just as he promised, within fifteen minutes, his key was turning in the lock, and she looked up to see his bleary face giving her a small smile.

"I'm so sorry, Kevin, but there's just so much that I can't unpack. Um, please, take a look at what my research uncovered."

He nodded and joined her on the couch, picking up her laptop and spending a few minutes scrolling through what she'd left up. Every so often, he'd look over at her, giving her a sympathetic smile, and she knew that things were not going to turn out any differently. Letting out a deep sigh, she got up and made her way over to the shower, stripping off her clothing before stepping into the shower and turning the water on, letting it wash over her as she gave into her desire to cry.

A soft knock came on the door before Kevin joined her inside the bathroom, taking a seat on the toilet as he watched her. "Well, I suppose you know what I'm going to say to you, Penny."

"You're going to tell me that I made a horrible mistake along the way, and that the conclusion I reached was erroneous, and I need to start over from square one. That even though the two Erins in my life have the same birth date, there is no other connection between them. Right?"

He gave her a look that told her she was telling herself a story, and she finished washing her hair before turning the water off and opening the door. Kevin handed her a towel, and she wrapped it around her body before taking hold of another towel and quickly rubbing it over her head in order to dry her hair a little.

Once she was completely dry, she pulled on a nightgown before leading him to the bedroom. They crawled in and she turned to face Kevin, reading on his face that she was not going to like what was ahead of her. "So, we need to decide where we go from here."

"I know, Kevin. Are you certain I'm right?"

"One hundred and fifty percent so. You are a better researcher than me in many ways, and it shows in the trail that you laid out for yourself with this. And so now, you have to face the reality that our boss is also your mother."

It felt weird to hear that juxtaposition fall from his lips, and she gave a small nod as she once more let the face of Erin Strauss meld into the face of the scared teenager who had been holding her all those years ago. "All right, so, Erin Strauss is my mother. Where do we go from here?"

"It's all up to you, Plum Sauce. However, if you drop this, Rossi and Strauss are going to know that something is up. You've been talking about it with them for a little bit now, and if you just suddenly drop it, questions will be asked."

"That's true. Maybe I should just treat it like a plaster and confront her with what I know tomorrow."

He nodded before leaning in and kissing her softly. "That is a good plan, too, Penelope."

"Just, what if she rejects me, right off the bat? What if she laughs in my face and tells me that I am wrong, denying the fact that she ever had a fourth child? And she has other children, I have more siblings! What are we going to tell them?"

Kevin let out a gentle laugh as he cupped her face and stroked his thumb back and forth along her cheekbone. "You are worrying about things that haven't even come to pass yet. The first step, in the morning, is to eat a good breakfast and make certain that our little bean is well taken care of. From there, it will be heading to work and getting your systems ready for the day. And then, while you're waiting for everything to boot up, you can head to Strauss's office and wait for her to talk with you. You've developed a sort of friendship with her over the last few weeks, so it shouldn't be too scary to deal with this issue."

"But…"

"No buts, Plum Sauce. Everything will work itself out right in the end, and if it's not okay, it's not the end." He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss before dragging a finger down her nose, causing her to yawn deeply. "There, see? You're exhausted, and need to sleep. Close your eyes and think positive thoughts. Yes?"

She nodded a little and did close her eyes, focusing in on the sound of his breaths and waiting until they had completely evened out before letting her eyelids pop open once more. Turning onto her back, she stared up at the ceiling, trying to find some answers there. Nothing was forthcoming, however, and she let a few silent tears roll down her cheeks. There was a heavy feeling of foreboding settling into the pit of her stomach, and she slid her hands down to her stomach to cradle the bump there tenderly. "I can't stop my brain from thinking about what if she doesn't want me, little one. And I don't know why it means so much to me that she might reject me. I didn't know about her existence in my life until I found out about you. So, she shouldn't mean this much to me already. But, she does, and I don't know what I'll do if she pushes me away."

Her whispered words hung in the air like gloomy clouds, and she let out another sigh as she pursed her lips together and tried to rein in her emotions. That was one thing that Kevin was completely correct about. Getting worked up would not be good for the baby, so she tried to focus her breaths and calm her rapidly beating heart. Finally, she turned to counting sheep in a bid to fall into the desired arms of sleep, and it worked for a little while, until she thought about what Rossi might say when he found out this new information about her and his partner.

"Sleep, Penelope," Kevin mumbled as he turned and threw an arm around her waist and pulled her tighter to his side. Groaning a little, she nodded and closed her eyes once more, forcing herself to relax and fall back into the waiting abyss of slumber.


	14. Chapter 14

The alarm on Penelope's phone was much too loud, and she grumbled as she blinked her eyes open, searching for the device so that she could hit the snooze button. Instead, her hand hit the warm wall of Kevin's side, and she glared at him as he turned off said alarm and then leaned in for a morning kiss. "Your breath stinks."

"And you're exhausted because you refused to go to sleep last night."

"I had other things on my mind!"

"And those things won't go well if you continue to be in a foul mood. I'll start coffee for us while you get ready." He gave her another kiss before slipping from the bed and padding out to the kitchen. Letting out a deep sigh, she rubbed her hands against her eyes before stumbling out of the bed and over to the dresser to pick out an outfit for the day. She wanted to look nice, but also not call too much attention to herself, since she didn't know how Erin would react to the news she was about to deliver.

Finally, she settled on a baby pink mohair cardigan over a white button up blouse and a black circle skirt. She dug through her closet until she found a pair of ballet flats that matched her cardigan and then pulled out lingerie and tights. Once she had her outfit in order, Penelope made her way to the bathroom, dropping her clean clothes onto the counter before stripping off her nightie and stepping into the shower.

As she washed her hair and body, Penelope tried to gather her thoughts into a coherent line. There was a good possibility that Erin would have a negative reaction, and she ran through a potential conversation that she could have with the woman, coming up with a rebuttal for every possible argument that Erin could make against her. It was only in her wildest dreams that Erin would take her words at face value and accept her into her family. After all, if no one knew that she had had a previous pregnancy, especially at such a young age, it was clear that Erin didn't want to acknowledge that time in her life.

Finally, the water started to run a little cool, and she knew that she had to get out. Turning off the water, she grabbed a towel off the rack and quickly dried off before stepping out of the shower and wrapping a bath sheet around her body as she dried her hair and then applied her makeup. "Plum Sauce? Are you almost done? You've been in the shower for forty minutes!"

She hadn't realized that it had been that long, and she shook her head as she rolled on her tights as quickly as she could before shimmying into her bra and then tugging on the rest of her clothes. Pulling open the bathroom door, she looked up at him, a desperate smile on her lips. "Almost ready! Just have to find something for my hair!"

Kevin nodded as he watched her hurry into the bedroom, dragging open her hair drawer and she gave him a nervous grin as she fished around in the drawer for a pink headband. Finally, she found a pretty one that didn't stand out too much and she shoved it into place before going into the kitchen. The food was already on the table, and she rubbed her stomach absently as she began to eat the waffles. "Penelope, you know that there's no need to be so nervous, right?"

"I wish that I could be that certain, Kevin. This is just such a major bombshell I'm dropping into her lap." She smiled nervously before finishing her food and pushing the plate into the center of the table. "Are you ready to go?"

He shook his head a little as he stood up, guiding her over to the door before helping her into her coat and heading down to the parking lot. "I wish that I knew what to tell you that would make you less nervous about this. She's your mother, she's going to love you no matter what, even if it is a surprise at first."

"I know, Kevin, but…"

"You're going to be on tenterhooks until you talk to her. I know." He smiled at her before pulling out into traffic, and drove them to the office. Once the elevator reached the sixth floor, they parted ways and Penelope made her way into the bullpen. Dave was already in his office, which meant that Erin was for sure in her office, and Penelope's hands turned ice cold as she stumbled up the stairs into her tech lair.

Booting up her computer systems, she took a seat in her chair and drummed her fingers on top of her baby bump, trying to find the courage to go and talk to Erin. Opening her purse, she pulled out the picture of her parents and Erin, running her thumb over Erin's face. "There's no time like the present," she finally breathed out as she slipped the picture into the pocket of her cardigan and then stood up, making her way out of her office.

Still, she paused by the railing, looking down as the rest of the BAU arrived and started their days. Derek looked up at her, giving her a small wave that she returned before making her way downstairs. Though she didn't stop by his desk to talk to him, knowing that he was there and in a good mood made her feel a little more confident as she trekked over to Erin's office.

Her assistant was busy typing away on something when Penelope got there, and she waited quietly for a few moments before clearing her throat. "May I help you, Ms Garcia?" the woman asked kindly, and she nodded, suddenly finding her words stuck in her throat. "Do you need to see Chief Strauss?" Again, she nodded, and the assistant smiled at her. "She's on a conference call at the moment. I could tell her you stopped by and then call you down here?"

"It might be better if I waited here? I really need to see her as soon as she's available," she finally managed to squeak out, and the woman nodded before gesturing towards a seat. Penelope sank down in the first one she reached, rubbing her stomach absently as she waited. The minutes dragged by slowly, and she watched as Helen, as she had finally read the woman's nameplate, gave her sympathetic looks every so often.

"Do you need anything to drink? I have water and juice behind my desk."

"A bottle of water might be nice," she replied softly, and Helen nodded before opening a drawer and pulling out a water bottle, coming over to Penelope's side and giving it to her. "Thank you."

"You are most welcome. It shouldn't be too long now."

Nodding, Penelope cracked open the bottle and took a few small sips, taking care not to smear her lipstick. Another fifteen minutes passed, and then Helen was picking up her phone, speaking quietly with someone before looking up at Penelope and smiling. "Is she free?" she asked the moment Helen hung up.

"She is, and she said that she could see you now. I hope everything is okay."

"I hope so, too," she said lowly as she got to her feet and made her way over to Erin's door. She paused for a moment to take a deep breath before she opened the door and slipped inside. Erin's head was bent over an open file on her desk, reading glasses close to the edge of her nose. It was hard to look at her and not want to shout that Erin was her mother, but she tamped that desire down as she glided over to the chairs in front of the desk, taking a seat and smoothing her skirt over her knees as she continued to stare at Erin, not wanting to interrupt her work.

Finally, the woman stopped writing and looked up at her, a small smile on her lips. "I'm sorry for making you wait so long, Penny. I wasn't expecting that call to take quite as long as it did. What do you need? If you waited for close to an hour, it has to be important."

Penelope took another deep breath as she pulled the picture out of her pocket, wanting something to hold onto as she spoke to Erin. "So, you know how I've been searching for my birth parents, right?" Erin nodded. "Well, my brother came through and sent me all the information that he had, and that led me to the woman behind the picture." She paused and looked down into her lap, staring at the faces there, drawing courage from them.

"And your parents? Are they alive?"

"My mother is, at least. And I'm looking at her as we speak."

As she glanced up, she watched the blood drain from Erin's face as her features shuttered off from scrutiny. "There is nothing funny about this, Ms Garcia. Do you know what you're saying?"

"Yes. Based on all my research, when you were a teenager, you had a baby, gave her up for adoption, and the people you gave her to were my adoptive parents. I wouldn't lie about something like this, it's not a prank. You are my mother."

"Get out," Erin hissed lowly, stabbing the air with her finger as she pointed to the door. "Get the hell out of this office and don't even think about saying something so outrageously cruel to me ever again. I don't know if this the pregnancy hormones talking, or if someone put you up to this without your knowledge, but it is going to take me a long time to get over."

Penelope felt her lower lip tremble as she hurriedly got to her feet, the picture dropping to the floor as she turned and ran from the room, ignoring Helen calling after her as she frantically tried to think of the first safe place she could find in the building.


	15. Chapter 15

Somehow, she found herself in front of JJ's old office, and she tried the doorknob, hoping beyond hope that it was unlocked. Sighing with relief when the door opened, she slipped behind the door and quickly locked it, making certain that no one could follow her inside by shoving the desk chair under the handle. Then she went back to the desk and collapsed on it, letting herself sob. It didn't take long for her crying to cause her to feel sick, and she took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down.

Finally, she admitted to herself that there was no way she could talk herself out of being sick, and she reluctantly opened the door and peeked out into the hallway. Not seeing anyone familiar milling about, she hastily hurried over to the closest bathroom and holed up in the handicap stall, dropping to her knees. Penelope was able to bend over the bowl before she lost the contents of her stomach, and she curled her arm protectively around her bump as she threw up.

When it seemed like she was finally done, she stood and flushed the contents of the toilet before exiting the stall and going over to the sink. Glancing into the mirror, she saw that her eyes were puffy and red rimmed. This was not at all how she had imagined this turning out, and it hurt her heart to know that Erin had rejected her wholesale. Running the tap for a little while so that it would be as cold as possible, she pulled out a few paper towels before running them beneath the water, soaking them thoroughly before washing her face with them.

Finally, she looked halfway decent, and she turned the water off before throwing the dirty papers away. Penelope took another deep breath as she rubbed her stomach. "I wonder what she's told Rossi?" she whispered as she pushed the door open. Creeping outside, she noticed Erin from the corner of her eye and she froze, pressing her body back into a shadowed corner as she watched the woman, her mother, look around the hallway before making a dash for the stairwell.

As soon as the door clanged shut, she made her way back to her safe place, hunkering down once more as she pulled her mobile out of her pocket and looked at the display. Kevin had texted her three or four times, along with Derek and Rossi. Deciding to ignore her coworkers for the moment, she swiped Kevin's last text across the screen, opening the messages app to his texts. A disconsolate sigh slipped from her lips when she read how stupidly optimistic he sounded, and she bit her lip to keep from crying when she texted him back to tell him that she needed him, and where she was.

As she waited for him to get there, Penelope thought as many happy things as she could, trying to get her mind off the rejection she had just faced. The rattling of the door caught her attention, and she stood and unlocked it, expecting to see Kevin on the other side, even if it was a bit early for him to get there from his office. A soft gasp slipped from her lips when she looked up to see Derek standing there, a concerned look on his face.

"Anderson told me that he thought he saw you disappear into here earlier. What's going on?"

She shook her head as she pulled him inside, closing her arms around him as she rubbed her face into the fabric of his shirt. "I have just had a really shitty day, Derek. It was supposed to be one of the happiest of my life, but it all went to hell so quickly." She knew that she was mumbling her words, but that didn't matter, so long as she got them out.

Derek rubbed her back gently, murmuring tender blandishments in her ear as she started to cry harder, feeling disconsolate. "Is Kevin coming soon?"

"He's on his way down," she finally managed to get out, and Derek nodded before kissing the top of her head. "I guess she really didn't want me, ever," she whispered before tightening her arms around his waist, listening to him grunt a little. "Sorry. I guess I'm just too morose right now."

She pulled away from him and went to take a seat on the chair, wrapping her arms around her waist as she moved the chair back and forth with her foot. Derek came over and took a seat on the desk, watching her intently. Penelope gave him a tremulous smile, not feeling any pleasure in her heart as she did so. The door rattled once more, and they both looked towards it, watching Kevin come in.

"Man, I am glad to see you. Try as I might, I have not been able to make Penelope truly smile here since I found her." Derek turned to her and cupped her face with his hands. "I don't know what is breaking your heart so badly, but I do know that you have a great man here who loves you, and will take care of you. And I'll smooth things over with Hotch, so that you can go home and feel better. I'll tell him the baby was making you really sick, and I know he'll believe that, since Haley had such horrible morning sickness." Leaning in, he kissed her forehead before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

"What happened, Plum Sauce?" Kevin asked as he came over to her side, kneeling on the floor as he took hold of her hands, smiling up into her face. "Did you tell Erin your news?"

She nodded as she leaned forward to rest her head against his, sighing deeply as she closed her eyes. "I waited for an hour to see her. I was so confident that everything was just going to be so easy, that she was going to look at the picture, look at me, make the connection, and I would have a mother in my life once more."

"What happened?"

"She got so angry! Like I had suggested she had birthed the spawn of Satan. She told me to get out and stop playing cruel pranks on people. I never even got a chance to show her this!" Penelope reached into her pocket, fishing around for the picture that was supposed to be there. "No!"

"What is it?"

"The picture! It's gone," she said before starting to cry again. "Now I have nothing to connect me to her, even if she doesn't want that connection."

Kevin pulled her down into his lap, rubbing her back as he rocked them back and forth. "It was probably a very large shock for her, darling. And sometimes, our first reaction to that is anger. And I know that your world feels like it's the blackest night right now, but it's only when we feel in the dark that a small flare of light appears brightest." He stroked her hair gently before helping her to her feet. "Now, let's take Morgan's advice and head home."

She nodded and then looked around for her purse. "I don't have my things."

"I'm certain that a member of Alpha can run them by after they're done for the day. It's more important to get you somewhere safe right now." Taking a deep breath, she nodded once more before swiping her hands savagely against her cheeks, seeking to erase the evidence of her sorrow. "You look fine, Penelope."

"I don't feel fine. I feel like an orphaned child. Because that's what I am, again." The bitterness in her voice surprised her a little, almost as much as Kevin, and she shook her head as she made her way to the door. Kevin followed after her quickly, wrapping his arm around her waist as she pressed the down button on the elevator. An awkward silence fell over them as they rode down with another person in the BAU, who she didn't really know, and didn't want to air her dirty laundry in front of.

Finally, they were on the ground floor, and Kevin led Penelope over to his car, helping her inside before backing out of the spot and driving them home. Just as they pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building, her phone rang, and she looked to see that it was Hotch. "Hey, Boss Man."

"Derek told me that you were having particularly bad morning sickness?"

"Yeah, I'm so sorry. I felt really good this morning, and then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm sorry to just leave without telling you myself."

He let out a soft sound of understanding before speaking once more. "It's understandable, pregnancies are unpredictable. Try and feel better, and if you have the energy, feel free to come back and finish out your day. I know that Haley had a particularly rough pregnancy, and I'm praying that you don't have to go through what she did. Have Kevin get you some ginger candy, that really helped stave off some of the queasiness."

"I'll make certain he does so, Hotch. Thank you. And I'll be there tomorrow, I hope."

"Of course." He hung up and she let out a long breath as they parked, looking forward to being safe in her apartment, away from this waking nightmare her day had become.


	16. Chapter 16

The trek up to her apartment seemed to take much longer than normal, but she supposed that that was because she was not feeling well at all, the small lie manifesting as truth. But Kevin was there for her all the while, his hand rubbing up and down her side as they rode the elevator up to her floor. They seemed to draw close to each other as they walked down the hall.

Kevin unlocked the door, and she made a beeline for the couch, sitting heavily before toeing out of her flats and curling up in the corner of it, pulling the blanket down from the back and covering her legs with it as Kevin returned with a glass of water, setting it on the coffee table before kneeling in front of her. "I can't take the rest of the day off, Plum Sauce, so I have to go back to Quantico. If you need anything, though, do not hesitate to call or text me."

She nodded before kissing him tenderly. "I totally understand. And I know that we'll talk tonight, when I hopefully feel a little better about what happened. I love you?"

"I love you, too, Penelope." He plucked the headband out of her hair before fluffing her hair with his fingers. "And I love our little burrito. Try to sleep. It does so much good for a body." He placed another tender kiss on her forehead before standing and heading over to the door. There was a brief silence, and Penelope looked over at him, watching as he blew her a kiss before leaving.

Once she was certain he was gone, she let out a deep breath and reached for the water, taking a long sip. The coldness of it made her stomach roil, and she closed her eyes and took long, slow, breaths until the feeling went away. That took way too long, and she shook her head as she stretched out on the couch, positioning the blanket so that it covered her entirely from shoulder to foot as she turned onto her side and stared at the coffee table. A part of her wanted to get up and grab her laptop, to lose herself in some inane comedy series on Netflix. However, she was quite comfortable where she was, and so decided to just lay there, staring at nothing.

Her phone pinged, and she pulled it from her pocket to see that Dave was asking after her. Scowling a little at the display, she tossed the phone onto the coffee table before turning and facing the fabric back of the couch, closing her eyes to keep from going cross eyed from staring. With no noise in the apartment to distract her, her thoughts seemed to escalate back into the same sad train that had derailed her earlier that morning. And then, it was so easy to give into her tears once more.

All her dreams about her baby having a grandmother to love it were suddenly up in smoke, though she knew that Kevin's parents would always be there for them, even if they had never really liked her much. Still, from the moment she had thought that there might be a chance for her bean to have another living grandparent, hope had burnt bright in her chest. Until Erin had so quickly extinguished that hope. She just didn't understand why Erin had reacted so negatively to the news. She hadn't been lying, she hadn't been trying to hurt her. She just wanted to know her mother.

Finally, all strength seemed to sap from her body, and she blinked a few times before allowing the heavy feeling of sleep steal over her. There was nothing restful about her slumber, however, as tense nightmares chased after her. She came awake with a loud cry, sitting up and wrapping her arms around her stomach protectively as she tried to not think about the dark images that had plagued her.

"Is everything okay?"

The words were soft, full of concern, and they fell from the lips of the last person she had expected to hear from that day. Turning her head slowly, she saw that Erin was sitting awkwardly in one of her overstuffed chairs, an uneasy look on her face.

"How did you get in here?" was her sharp response, as she felt more than a little defensive. Still keeping her eye on Erin, she leaned over and picked up her phone, trying to see if she had missed a call from Kevin or Dave or Aaron, expecting them to let her know that she had company. There was nothing there, and she narrowed her gaze a little as she shrank back into the couch once more, her free arm cradling her baby bump. "I asked you a question, I expect an answer."

Erin had the grace to blush, and she darted her gaze away from Penelope to stare at the floor. "It isn't polite to speak to your superior in this manner, Ms Garcia."

"When said superior is in my home, unannounced, I believe that I can speak to her in any manner that I see fit. Haven't you caused enough damage today? Did you have to come and twist the rusty knife in the open wound some more? Don't worry, I'm certain that the CIA or Interpol will be glad to have someone with my caliber of skills, I can be out of your hair within a week. After all, I wouldn't want to remind you constantly of my cruel prank."

Penelope didn't really know where the bitter, angry, words were coming from, and as she closed her mouth, the anger that had suddenly swept through faded away. Blinking, she took a long look at Erin's face and saw that she was silently crying, her hands clenched into tight fists on her legs. A wave of remorse washed over her and she leaned towards Erin, closing the small distance between them with her outstretched hand. For a few seconds, she let it hover over her leg, uncertain if she should touch the woman, her mother, even if she was in her home.

There was another soft, quiet, beat before she rested her hand on Erin's knee, taking a few long, shuddering, breaths. And then, Erin was covering her hand with her own, hesitantly, as if she expected Penelope to brush her off, to reject her. If she was feeling petty, she could reject Erin, just as she had been rejected earlier in the day, but Penelope squashed that thought quickly, turning her hand over to clasp Erin's tightly. "Mister Lynch allowed me to borrow his key, once I had calmed down enough to think rationally. I can see, now, that there might be a slight familial resemblance in our quick fuses."

She let out a self-deprecating laugh as she squeezed Penelope's hand a few times. "So, you finally agree that we might be related? What caused the change of heart?"

Erin winced a little at the tone Penelope took, and she shrugged a little. "I know, I should expect this after the way I treated you this morning. I may have destroyed this precious friendship with my hasty words, and that is something that I regret most bitterly."

Penelope noticed that she had neatly sidestepped discussing what had happened in her office, and she wondered why, or if they should start on something a little easier to discuss. "I don't think anything was permanently destroyed, Erin, just bruised. Bruised hearts heal, with time."

The woman looked up at her, a small smile slipping across her face. "I'm glad to know that there is a little bit of hope after what went down this morning. You know, David doesn't even know about my young adulthood. He doesn't know that I do have four children. I almost slipped up talking to you once, and you didn't catch it." She let go of Penelope's hand to pick up her purse and rummage through it. Pulling out the picture, Erin ran her thumb lovingly over the baby's face before glancing back up at her. "I never expected to see myself like this. Your parents kept the only copy."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want to be reminded of the fact that I had given away my child. I was a coward, who could only think of her own future." Erin let out a deep sigh. "You must have been so nervous, waiting for me this morning. Not knowing how I would react. And then, I destroyed you in the worst way possible, didn't I?" Her face suddenly fell and Penelope felt her heart lurch in her chest. "After everything I've done to change, to become a better person, I still reacted like the person I was a few years ago."

"If that were true, then you wouldn't have come here, to look after me, and to talk this out. There is a good heart in you, and I'd like to think that I got that from you?" She posed the statement as a question, since she wasn't certain how Erin would react, and felt relieved when the woman nodded a little, tears tracking down her face.


	17. Chapter 17

Penelope sighed a little as she leaned in close to Erin, looking at her face intently. "Would, would you mind terribly if we hugged? I feel like I'm going to shatter." Erin gave her a grateful smile as she nodded, meeting Penelope halfway as they hugged tightly. "So, I guess I get my fierceness from you, then. Along with the strong need to be a cop when I was young."

Erin laughed a little as she shrugged. "I don't know. You would think, with my psychology degrees, I would know just what is nature and what is nurture."

She got up and took a seat next to Penelope on the couch, and then returned the intense look, as if she was trying to memorise Penelope's features. "You know, I have a ton of pictures of myself, I can send some to you. You don't have to learn everything about me all in one go."

Erin chuckled a little as she shook her head. "It's not…may I…?"

"What?"

"May I touch your face? That was the last thing I did before I handed you to your mother." Penelope nodded slowly, and then closed her eyes as Erin brushed her fingers over her face, tracing first her cheekbones and then her brows. The touches were gentle, soft, kind, and the first tears began to tremble on the edge of her lashes. "It's okay to cry, Penelope. God knows I did enough of that after I gave you away."

The sorrow in those words tore at Penelope's heart, and she nodded as she did allow herself to start crying, opening her eyes to look into Erin's. She was also crying once more, and this caused the silent cries to turn into a full on sob as she wrapped her arms around Erin once more, burying her face in the crook of Erin's neck as the woman rubbed her back gently. "My baby is going to know their grandmother. I didn't think that would be possible."

"They'll also get to meet their great grandparents."

Penelope breathed in sharply, not realizing that that could be possible. "I didn't think that far ahead. All that mattered was finding out who my birth parents were, because I have such a rare blood type. And I have more siblings!"

"You do." Erin gave her another soft smile. "You know, I should have seen this sooner, you look like my mother. Suddenly, a lot of things make sense."

"Really? Like what?"

Erin pursed her lips together a little as she stroked Penelope's hair. This need to touch her surprised Penelope, since she hadn't thought of Erin as being so open with physicality. "When Aaron's wife, when Haley, when I had to go through that ridiculous inquest into what happened between Aaron and Foyet, I questioned all of your team. You were the only one who made me cry. And when I look back, I can clearly recognize the fact that your familiarity stirred up some feelings in me that were not related to the case at hand."

"Oh." She glanced down at her small bump before looking up at Erin once more. "You know I was shot, yeah?"

Erin nodded. "I should have handled that, IA should have never been anywhere near that. If I had been allowed to work with your team, perhaps we could have figured things out sooner, and that chaos wouldn't have been brought into my bullpen."

She giggled at the hard tone in Erin's voice, agreeing with her all the way. "I don't think we would have liked you taking over back then, but now, I wouldn't mind that. So, would you tell me about my family? Anything that you feel comfortable telling me."

Erin nodded, and pointed to her purse. "I brought my tablet, since I thought this might come up, and pictures always make things that much easier." Penelope nodded eagerly as she grabbed the purse and handed it to Erin. Both their phones rang at almost the same time, and they let out a nervous laugh before reaching for the devices.

"Hey, Hot Stuff. Did you get called out on a case?" she asked after seeing Derek's picture on her display.

"No, we're doing catch up on paperwork today. I was just calling to see if you needed anything. I know that Kevin takes good care of you, but since he's doing the job of two technical analysts today, he might not have time to do anything."

She smiled at Erin, catching a few hints of her conversation, enough to know that she was talking to Dave. "I think that I'm good, Derek, but I really appreciate you calling. How's Kevin doing?"

"Well, I thought that he was going to end up fired there for a moment. Strauss stormed into your office, and spent a good ten minutes in there, talking to him, before she stormed out again. Not even Rossi knows what's going on there."

"Who can say," she murmured in reply, seeing that Erin had finished her conversation. "I'm going to have to let you go now, Der. The morning sickness is coming back with a vengeance."

"All right, Baby Girl, I'll talk to you soon."

They hung up, and she focused on Erin once more. "Seems like you put the fear of God into my main team today."

"I may have still looked a little angry when I went up to your office, since I was expecting to find Mister Lynch in his office. And desperation makes people react differently than normal." She nodded before curling up close to Erin, wanting to see what Erin had called up on the tablet. "All right, thankfully, my sister is a huge genealogy nerd, and has done a lot of research into our family tree, so I can call up pictures as we go along."

She nodded, smiling widely as she absently rubbed her stomach. "So many new family members in one day."

"I won't give you a quiz until the baby arrives. Because believe you me, my mother is going to come bearing gifts, and you'll need to be prepared for her level of…oh god, maybe it really is nature. That exuberance skipped me and manifested in you ten times over." She giggled as she let her head come to rest on Erin's shoulder.

She listened to the stories that Erin told as she pointed out their ancestors. Penelope was surprised to find out that she was related, however remotely, to people who had come over on the _Mayflower_. She was glad that Erin had started quite a few generations back, since it helped to set the stage for the more current relatives. "Can I ask an awkward question?" she said, finding herself too curious to keep from asking any longer.

"Yes?"

"Did you ever tell my dad about me?"

Erin blushed as she looked down at her lap. "I suppose that I should have been prepared for this question, too. You're going to think badly of me."

"You won't know if you don't tell me."

Erin chuckled as she shook her head. "I judge myself harshly, Penelope, so I can only imagine what you'll think of me. I don't know who your father is. There was a beach party that Bessie wanted to go to, and my parents made her bring me along. I've always had the tendency to want to appear more mature and in control than I might be, and that played me for a fool that evening."

"Let me guess, you drank too much and lived a little. There's nothing wrong with that. We all have some youthful indiscretions, after all." She smiled at Erin, only to see that her face was not quite so jovial. "Erin?"

"I had one drink, and I wasn't careful in watching it. So, my youthful indiscretion ended in you. I loved the concept of you from the moment I knew you were in there," she whispered as she reached out and rested her hand on Penelope's stomach. "But I also knew that I wasn't ready to raise you. You needed actual parents, people who were in the right place in life to provide for a baby."

Penelope felt horrified at having joked around about what had happened just a few moments ago, but Erin didn't seem upset with her, instead, she gave her a sad smile. "That wasn't…I…I'm sorry!"

"It's life, life sucks sometimes, but there are moments of incredible happiness to make up for the awful. And this is one of those moments. I gave birth to an incredibly smart, talented, beautiful, woman and now, after all these years of trying not to think about her, I get to claim her as mine."

"And I get to know where I got my intelligence and spunk from." She let out a long sigh. "So, to put this on a happier track, tell me a little more about Bessie."

"Well, for one, you won't be allowed to call her Bessie. When she finds out about you, it will be Aunt Liz or Auntie Elizabeth, whichever you prefer. If you call her Bessie, she'll kill me. And you want me alive, yes?"

"Yes, because I still have so many questions." They shared a smile, and Penelope marveled at the fact that things could go from tragic to wonderful so easily.


	18. Chapter 18

"I went with Chinese food this afternoon, Plum Sauce. Helen told me what you usually get, ma'am," Kevin said as he came into the apartment, two large bags in his hands. "There might be a little too much here, but I wanted you both to have options. I need to get back to the office now, I'll be home after six."

Penelope nodded as she got off the couch and drifted into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table. Kevin bent down and kissed the top of her head before waving at Erin and leaving once more. "Come, eat, before it gets cold."

"I'm coming," Erin said, sounding distracted. When she joined her, Penelope saw that she was looking at her phone, a pensive look on her face.

"Erin? Is everything okay?"

She shook her head a little as she took a seat, grabbing a pair of chopsticks from Penelope as she set her phone aside. "That was my ex-husband. He's being less that cooperative at the moment. I don't usually answer his phone calls during the day, so he's taken to texting me the most vile things. The only reason I don't block his number is that we do still share children, and he has the right to be in their lives. And so, he needs to have some way to contact me. It's less than ideal, I admit, but I did love him at one point in my life."

Penelope nodded a little as she reached out and squeezed Erin's forearm. "If you ever need me to put the fear of God into him, I can do that. You know I can."

Erin gave her a small smile as she shook her head once more. "I will not allow you to do anything that could possibly get you in trouble on my account. He's not worth it, really."

"Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where I work," she teased before starting to eat. Erin dug in as well, and Penelope found herself comforted by the gentle quiet that permeated the apartment as they ate. Kevin really had ordered too much food, and as Penelope put away the leftovers, Erin threw out the trash before washing her hands. "Are, are you planning on going back to work now?"

"I really should, seeing as how you are feeling better now."

The hesitation in her voice told Penelope that she really didn't want to leave at that moment, so she shrugged a little before gesturing towards her living room. "There is still so much to learn about you, and I'm certain that you must have questions about me. Plus, there is a slight issue."

"Oh? What would that be?" Erin asked as she picked up her glass of water and followed Penelope back into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. Penelope joined her, setting her feet on the coffee table as she made herself comfortable. "Penny?"

"The only little quibble that I can really think will be a hindrance to us is how do we handle telling everyone. As I'm sure you know, the BAU is worse than a schoolyard when it comes to gossip being passed around. But I want to control the spread of this, to protect you and me."

"That's very noble of you, dear, but my reputation will never be the best. As long as you are protected, that's all that matters." Erin reached out and caressed her cheek lovingly. "And I'll have you know that my children come first in my life. Aaron can attest to that."

"Ah," she murmured as she looked down into her lap. "That's good to know. But it doesn't really answer my question? How do we go about telling everyone the news? I would like to start with my team, first, since they deserve to know from me, from us."

"I would not have any problem telling them together, if that's what you'd like." Erin gave her a hesitant smile, and she nodded as she grinned back. "I wish that I had your effervescent optimism. The lemons life handed me just made me sour, they made you sweet."

"But I've come to like the person I've gotten to know over these last few weeks, even before I knew you were my mother. Secretly, I had been hoping that my mother would be a little bit like you, and I guess Fate made that wish come true."

Erin blinked rapidly as she leaned forward, pressing her forehead against Penelope's, breathing in and out slowly as they sat there quietly. "I only hoped that wherever you were, you were happy. I didn't dwell too much on you, since I knew that I had to move on, for my mental health. Can you ever forgive me for giving you away?"

"You did what you had to do, in order to give both of us a better future. We can't go back and change things, we're not the Doctor, after all." She sighed before pulling away from Erin slightly, reaching down to take hold of her hands. "I know that there are a million and one questions that I have for you, things I want to know about every aspect of your life, but for the life of me, I can't think of any right now. I guess that I'm still processing this, given what happened this morning."

Erin blushed as she looked away from Penelope. "Yes, I could have handled that a lot better. I think that's what living with a secret does to a person, makes them defensive and sharp. I truly am sorry for hurting you."

"You were scared that I had found out the truth and was using it to hurt you. I probably would have reacted much the same way. It didn't help that I had built up our first meeting to be a magical, sweet, Hallmark, moment. I'm pretty good at hyping things up in my head."

"It's because you love so well and so deeply. Now, I know that Alpha usually has their briefings around 9:30, since that allows you time to get ready for the day. We could reveal the truth to them tomorrow, before that briefing, so that everyone can find out at once. I won't even tell David this news."

"Okay," she whispered before reaching over and grabbing a pillow, holding it close to her chest. "Also? Do you think that we could have lunch every day until I go on maternity leave? Because that way, I can come up with a list of questions I want to know, and you can do the same, and we can find out all that we need to know about each other. Well, within reason. I think there are probably a few things that should be kept quiet."

Erin nodded. "I think that I would love that, even if David will be upset at the way you're monopolizing my time. And I'll have to introduce you to your siblings, though I don't know how they're going to react to this news. Things have been prickly since the divorce, and this new wrinkle might set them off again."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to cause trouble for you! We can wait for introductions, if that would be easier. And that way, I can come up with a good way to introduce myself, too. I'm nervous, can you imagine that?"

"I can. Because I'm nervous about meeting your siblings, too. You have four stepbrothers, right?" Penelope nodded. "Well, that's four more people I get to add to an expanding family. Now, you look exhausted, and that's likely a direct result from my emotional outburst this morning. How about we get you into bed, and as soon as you fall asleep, I'll tidy up around here, and then head home?"

"I suppose, if that's what you really want, Erin."

"You're my daughter, I have to take care of you." Finally, Penelope nodded and allowed Erin to help her to her feet, guiding her over to the bedroom. Penelope sat and reclined back against her pillows, allowing Erin to pull the covers up to her shoulders. "May I?" the woman asked hesitantly, and Penelope nodded, not quite knowing what she would do next. Erin gave her a soft smile before leaning down and kissing her forehead sweetly. "I always did that with my girls before they slept. I suppose that I just wanted to make up for lost time."

"That's okay, Erin." She smiled up at her, yawning deeply. "That's what I'm hoping for, too." Penelope let her eyes flutter closed as she felt Erin's hand clasp one of hers. There was something so comforting about the touch, and as she drifted off into a light sleep, all she could think about was how she had been waiting for this moment all her life, without ever realizing it. "I love you," she whispered before she completely gave herself over to slumber, feeling the way Erin's hand tightened around hers, as if she, too, was comforted by those words.


	19. Chapter 19

Penelope hummed under her breath as she stepped into the shower. She had slept the entire day away, only waking when her alarm went off at its standard time, and though it had been an extended sleep, she didn't feel any ill effects from it, like she normally might. Her hums turned into full on singing as the water hit her, and she went through a few songs as she washed her hair and body.

As she stepped out of the shower, she started to think about what would happen later on that morning. She knew that Dave would be all right with the news, since he was so close to Erin, and Hotch would be okay finding out, since he was Dave's best friend, but she wasn't certain about the others. Derek was so protective of her, and he would easily put two and two together and realise that Erin had been the one to make her cry yesterday.

A million little thoughts began to swirl through her mind as she dried off, once more trying to come up with all the possible scenarios and how she would react to them. Her hands were so shaky as she applied her makeup, and she decided to forego her usually bold eyeliner in favor of a more muted look. Penelope figured that Derek would be able to tell something was up just by looking at her face, so she hoped that she was able to get inside her office before he saw her.

Sighing a little, she smiled widely at her face, nervous anticipation winning out over fear as she chose which dress she'd wear. She decided on something cheerful and bright, to further bolster her confidence as she went about telling the team her wonderful news. Slipping into black flats, she shoved a matching fascinator into her hair before packing up her purse and slipping on a coat.

The morning was brilliantly blue, and she knew that she couldn't make a correct correlation between her feelings and the weather, but it still felt like God had sent her a beautiful day for a beautiful discovery. Smiling, she pulled out her phone and sent off a quick text to Kevin, telling him that she couldn't wait to talk to him in the office. Slipping her phone into her purse as she climbed behind the wheel of her car, Penelope started her car and began to drive into work.

Fiddling with the radio stations, she finally settled on something that was as joyful as her mood. Singing along, Penelope found herself beginning to wish that Kevin had spent the night with her, rather than at his own place. She had missed waking up next to him. Her phone rang, and she touched the Bluetooth button on her steering wheel to answer. "Good morning!"

"Penny Lane! I have a few minutes before I have to get on my flight for Germany. Did you get any more good news?"

"Joey! Yes! I figured out who my mother is, and you'll never believe it. She was hiding beneath my nose all along. My boss, Erin Strauss, was the girl in the picture, and while it was quite a surprise to find out that news, we've both taken the news a lot better than expected."

"That's good to hear! So, where are you going from this point?"

She took a long breath as she thought about that. "Well, she wants to meet all of you, and I need to meet her children, but the first order of business is to tell my main team about this, since it will affect us the most, day to day, you know?"

"Yeah. Oh, I am so glad that everything went well, Penelope. I was really worried that your mother, when you found her, was going to reject you." In the background, she could hear a gate agent announcing that a flight was starting to board, and she knew that it was most likely her brother's. "And that is the sound of me needing to leave, Penny Lane. Make certain you email me, to tell me everything about her."

"Will do, Joey. I love you."

"Love you, too!"

They hung up, and Penelope hummed along to the radio for the rest of the ride in. She was surprised to find that she was one of the first members of her team to arrive, and she parked close to the elevator, riding up with a few other agents she vaguely recognized. Still, she was in too good a mood to keep the smile from her lips, and she made pleasant small talk with an analyst from counterterrorism until she reached her floor.

Penelope stepped off the elevator and fairly skipped over to the stairs that led to her office, a song still on her lips. She tried to ignore the looks she was getting from the others in the bullpen who were not morning people, but found herself rolling her eyes a little at the grumbling she heard from Agent Anderson. She turned towards her office, only for Rossi to peek his head out of his door, looking towards her. "Good morning, Dave!" she sang out, giving him a small wave.

He stepped into the hall and leaned against the railing, a curious smile on his lips as he beckoned her to join him. Her smile never faltered as she did so, and he reached out to touch her shoulder lightly. "You seem in much better spirits today, Kitten."

"I feel much better today, my sweet Italian stallion."

He laughed a little as he turned her towards his office, motioning for her to follow him inside. Knowing that she could afford the time, since she hadn't seen Derek or Reid enter yet, she complied, taking a seat on his low leather couch. "Carolyn had the worst morning sickness, you know, so I understand about needing to leave. Erin said that she called you, to make certain that everything was okay?"

"She did, it was really kind of her to check in on me."

Penelope covered her stomach with her hands, thinking about her mother. "Where's your head, Penelope? Did you get any more good news?"

"Maybe."

He took a seat next to her, sipping from a mug of coffee. "Well, the only thing I can think of that you were worried about lately was who your mother is. Did you find her?"

Penelope paused a moment, knowing that she was perilously close to revealing her hand before she was ready to, and she bent her head a little, trying to keep from making eye contact with him. "I did, and she was a lot closer than I had anticipated."

He cleared his throat a little, and she looked up to see him smiling at her in confusion. "What do you mean, she's closer than anticipated? Does she live around here?"

Penelope began to feel a bit antsy, since the truth was trembling on the tip of her tongue, so she stood up and began to pace his office, rubbing her stomach a little as she walked. "She does, if you can believe that. I mean, what are the odds? I was born on the west coast, and then moved here, and she also moved here at some point, only to end up in the same relative area?"

"It's almost like God intended for you to meet at some point, exactly when you needed her most." She looked at him, seeing the warm smile on his lips and she smiled in return.

"Kevin and I are going to be so happy, you realise. I have my mother, I have him, and I have this new baby. What more could I possibly ask for?" He shrugged and stood, opening his arms, and she stepped close to him, letting him hug her tightly. "I just wish that I had known this earlier, you know? Somehow, I think…"

Her voice trailed off as a familiar blonde head entered the bullpen, and she pulled away from Rossi to step closer to his window. Looking around, she still couldn't see Derek or JJ or anyone else, so she wondered why her mother had showed up already. Trying not to frown, she looked at Rossi, seeing that he was looking at her intently. "What's wrong?"

"Did you and Erin have plans to meet this morning?" she asked.

"No, but I never turn down a moment to see her," he responded, winking broadly at her. Penelope rolled her eyes a little as she turned back to see that Erin had paused just a moment before she climbed the stairs. Her face looked distressed, like she had received bad news recently, and Penelope sucked in a short breath as she went over to Rossi's door and opened it, somehow knowing that the woman would be coming there first.

Their eyes met as she ascended the stairs, and Penelope clapped her hand to her stomach. Shaking her head a little, Penelope stumbled backwards into Dave's open arms, and tried to brace herself for the news Erin was about to give her.


	20. Chapter 20

Erin closed the door with a soft click, and Penelope still felt like the sound was like a cannon going off. Dave's hands tightened around her shoulders, and she found herself grateful for the contact, since it grounded her, letting her know that she had someone to support her no matter what Erin told her. But the fact that she hadn't expected bad news on such a happy day made her feel all the worse.

"Erin? What's wrong? Do you need to speak with me alone?"

Erin shook her head slowly as she pulled over one of the office chairs, getting close to Penelope as she reached out for her hand. Penelope clasped it hesitantly, not knowing where this was going. A jagged silence fell over the room, and she found that she didn't want to break it, since she wasn't certain she wanted to hear what her mother was about to say. "I'm really glad that I caught the two of you together, actually," she said quietly as she looked into Penelope's eyes.

Tears were pooling in the corner of Erin's eyes, and Penelope felt her heart fall into the pit of her stomach. Dave's hands squeezed her shoulders a little as he drew in a deep breath. "Then I take it that you have some bad news for one of us?" Erin nodded, her grip on Penelope's hand becoming quite painful. "And I know you would have told me about it before we left, if it involved me, so can we infer that you have bad news for Penelope?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"But you don't know how to find words for what you want to tell her."

"Yes."

That was when Penelope knew that, whatever the next words that came from Erin's lips were, her life would never be the same again. "All right, I think that we're at an impasse for my charade skills. Despite how well I know you, _bella_ , I still cannot read your mind."

She knew that he was trying to make them feel better, and Penelope loved him all the more for that, since it showed just how much he cared. Normally, she would have giggled at his words, but this time, she just rested against him, taking strength from his warm form, even as she clung to Erin's hand. "I wish that you could read my mind and take this from me. Somehow, I think that it would come from your lips a little easier than mine."

Erin swallowed thickly, and Penelope copied her movement before biting her lip a little. "Just tell me, Erin. You're starting to scare me a little."

"I'm sorry, darling," she whispered, the first tears starting to roll down her cheeks. "I just received a call from St Vincent's. It seems that there was a rather bad car accident this morning, and that Kevin was involved. Some utter asshole was drunk already, or still, it doesn't really matter at this point, ran a red light, and t-boned his car."

"No, that can't be. Someone would have gone through his contacts and called me, to let me know what had happened. The cops do that now."

Erin tilted her head to one side as she reached out her free hand and cupped Penelope's cheek, letting her thumb rub back and forth over her cheekbone before she shook her head. "His phone was destroyed in the accident. The only reason they knew to call here was his ID badge. The person on the switchboard patched the deputy through to my phone."

"But he was taken to the hospital, so that means he was alive, right? Otherwise they would have taken him right to the coroner's office. That's a good sign, right?" Penelope knew that she was clutching at straws, since the look on Erin's face told her that the news was not good at all.

"He is alive, and I was told that he would be rushed to surgery as soon as he arrived."

"Did they dispatch AeroMed?"

Erin shook her head, not meeting Penelope's gaze. Again, the vibes that were rolling off Erin told Penelope that things were dire, even though there was a thin filament of hope. "All I know is that it's touch and go right now, and that we need to get you to St Vincent's as soon as possible."

The sobs that Penelope had been struggling to keep inside burst forth, and she leaned forward over her baby bump, trying to protect it as she cried. A dull thud caught her attention, and she saw that Erin was now kneeling on the floor in front of her, and Penelope fell forward, needing her mother's arms around her in that moment, offering her what comfort she could give. "If I stay here, I can pretend that nothing bad happened, I can tell the team my news, and everything will be all right," she whispered brokenly.

"Darling, no, as much as we would love to pretend like that, we can't. And I want you to have the chance to say what you need to say before things get too late." Erin's words dropped heavily on her heart, and she bit her lip as she nodded a bit, knowing that she was correct. But a part of her heart didn't want to accept the truth that she was saying.

"So we have to go now?" she finally said, pulling her head out of the crook of Erin's shoulder to look up into her face.

"Yes, we have to go now."

Dave cleared his throat a little, causing them to look up at him. "Care to fill me in here?"

"We're going to the hospital so that Penelope can have a chance to say goodbye to Kevin. It doesn't look good."

He nodded a little before looking uncomfortably at Penelope, like he didn't really want to say what was on his mind at the moment. "Kitten, it is going to be very difficult to explain away a second absence like this. I know that this is important…"

"David James Rossi, do not even finish that statement. I know that this would leave the BAU without a technical analyst here physically. Use the international team's analyst for any inquiries you might have."

"Erin."

"Don't Erin me, David. As her Section Chief, I'll approve any time off that she needs. As her mother, I will be accompanying her to the hospital to see him." Erin got to her feet, ignoring the shocked gasp that fell from Dave's lips as she helped Penelope up. "Come on, darling, we have to move quickly now. I'm so glad that you have your things here, so we don't need to make another stop."

She nodded dumbly, hooking her arm around Erin's waist as she allowed the woman to guide her out of the office and over to the stairs. Hotch was coming up them, and he gave her an odd look as they went down. In the background, she heard Dave call to Hotch, and she knew that he would explain for them, though she didn't know what he would tell Hotch.

Erin steered them away from the elevators, choosing to take the stairs. This seemed like the best idea, since it gave her some privacy, and was probably quicker than waiting for the elevator. Her tears never lessened as she followed after Erin to her car. "Erin, wait, please. I think I'm going to be sick."

Erin paused, and Penelope rushed over to a corner, away from the closest car, squatting down a little before losing the contents of her stomach. Feeling a soft hand on her back, she looked up to see Erin standing by her side, holding out a handkerchief. "I have a bottle of water in my car, you can use that to cleanse your palate once we get there." She nodded a little and took the small square of fabric, wiping away the traces of her sickness before standing up once more, allowing Erin to wrap her arm around her waist once more as she led her the rest of the way to her vehicle.

Penelope curled up heavily in the passenger seat as she listened to Erin rummage around in the trunk before getting in the car as well, handing over the promised water. "What if he dies before we get there? And how can I raise our child without him by our side?"

"You won't be alone, Penelope, I can promise you that. The support system that you have surrounding you right now is going to be enough to carry on with living."

"And what about you?" she asked lowly, glancing at Erin out of the corner of her eye, wanting to see what her response would be.

The woman slipped her hand off the shifter and rested it on Penelope's baby bump. "I will be whatever you want me to be. I know that things between us have been rocky, save for the last few weeks, but I love the idea of you being my daughter, and I hope that you can let me be there for you. I would hate to be shut out now."

Giving Penelope's hand a soft squeeze, Erin then started the car, backing out of her spot and pulling out into traffic. The air between them was so tender and hopeful, but she knew the answer she wanted to give Erin. "I don't think I could ever shut you out, Erin. And I have the feeling that I'm going to need you now more than ever." A quick smile slipped over Erin's face as she nodded, and then the silence fell over the car once more, Penelope sending up frantic prayers to whichever deity was listening in that moment that Kevin would be all right.


	21. Chapter 21

They had been driving for about eight minutes when Penelope's phone rang. Pulling it from her purse, she saw that Derek was calling, and she frowned a little, not certain if she wanted to talk to him or not. Turning the ringer off her personal phone, she put it away as she went back to staring out the window at the cars going by, wondering if the people in them knew how lucky they were to have a normal day.

Her work phone ringing caught her attention, and she sighed bitterly as she pulled it from her cleavage, unsurprised to see Derek's name there, too. "Maybe you should answer? I think that whoever is calling really wants to talk to you," Erin said kindly, and she nodded as she accepted the call.

"Hey, Derek."

"Baby Girl, what is going on? JJ mentioned that she saw you leaving the parking lot in Strauss's car, and when I went to ask for details from Hotch, he just shut me out, informing me that we were going to be grounded for at least today, if not the rest of the week. Is everything okay with you? You're not losing the baby, are you?"

She took a deep breath, feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the onslaught of her questions. Her tears, which had almost stopped by this point, began to fall in earnest once more, and she shook her head as she started to sob once more. "No. No. Nothing about me. There, there was a horrible accident this morning, and Kevin, Kevin…"

Her voice broke off as her sobs choked out her words. "Darlin', do you need one of us to go to the hospital with you? I mean, I know Strauss has changed and all, but she doesn't know you like we do. You're my best friend, I would do anything for you."

"I know you would," she managed to say, looking to Erin. "But I think that I am in the best possible hands that I could be, right now, Derek. I have news to tell you, I was going to tell you all today, but…"

"But this is more important. I completely understand. Let me know when you reach the hospital, and keep me filled in?"

"Of course."

She hung up on him and turned that phone on vibrate as well, needing to keep her focus on what was currently happening, not at what was occurring elsewhere. "Was that Derek?" Erin asked, and Penelope nodded. "You should have told him which hospital we're going to, I'm certain he would have loved to be there for you, Penny."

"I don't want him there, I want you. Why are you trying to push me away?"

"I'm not, I promise. I just know, from what David's said, that he's your best friend, and has been that for a long time. In times of crisis, it's easier to have those who mean the most closest to us."

Penelope released a long, shaky, breath. "But that goes out the window when I can have my mother at my side. Or do you just want to abandon me again?"

She regretted the words the moment they came from her mouth, but she couldn't call them back once they were on the wind. Erin stiffened as she pursed her lips, obviously trying to control her reaction to what Penelope had said. "I know that my reaction to your revelation yesterday was harsh. However, I had trained myself to think of you as dead to me. The adoption was closed, no one should have ever had access to those records, and I seriously overreacted when you dropped that particular bombshell on me. And so, I know that those words came from your wounded, hurting, heart, and that you truly don't mean them. When we're hurting, we lash out, seeking to cause as much trauma as we feel in that moment. And no, I do not want to abandon you ever again, not when I know who you are."

Penelope nodded as she screwed her eyes shut, reaching out and hooking her hand into the crook of Erin's arm, needing to be in contact with her. "I can be ruthless when I'm upset. I've said worse to Derek, and somehow he's managed to forgive me. I wish that I had better control of my tongue."

"I've never had a single report from Aaron that's spoken of your tongue being too unrestrained. I think that you know full well how to be professional when the situation calls for it, only letting your true emotions come to light when you feel safe enough to do so." There was a slight pause, and Penelope opened her eyes and looked up into Erin's face, noticing that she had been crying silently, to see that she was glancing down at Penelope. "We can't always be sunshine and sweetness and light, at some point we have to let those negative feelings out of our heart. And while we try to do so in the way that causes the least amount of damage, sometimes, we do hurt those that we love."

"I just never intended to hurt you so quickly," she whispered as she turned onto her side a little more, staring at Erin's hands on the steering wheel. The rest of the drive was quiet, though it seemed gentler to Penelope this time, as if by clearing the air between them, something had clicked into place between them, like a puzzle coming together perfectly.

They finally arrived at the hospital, and Erin pulled up to the entrance, allowing a valet to park her car. Penelope assumed that was because she didn't want to leave her side, and she smiled at the woman gratefully, slipping her hand into the proffered one as they started for the entrance. Though hardly anyone was speaking above a hushed whisper in the foyer of the building, Penelope found the noise of voices grating on her nerves, and she shrank close to Erin as they went over to the information desk. A friendly looking man was sitting there, tapping away at his keyboard. "How may I help you?" he asked without looking up from his monitor.

"Yes, I'm Section Chief Erin Strauss, and I believe that I spoke with you on the telephone earlier, about a Mister Kevin Lynch? You contacted me because of his ID badge. I have his fiancée here, and we'd like to be escorted to where he is."

The man nodded, shooting Penelope a sympathetic glance before looking back at his monitor. She focused in on the sound of his fingers touching the keys and could hear the way his smooth strokes quickly brought up Kevin's information. "That's right, you did talk to me," he finally replied as he wrote something down on a business card sized slip of paper. "All right, take this over to the attendant by the elevators, and she'll take you to where you can wait for news on Mister Lynch."

From the look on his face, Penelope knew that she wasn't going to hear the best news, so she drifted closer to Erin as they walked in the direction the man had pointed. Somehow, they reached the lifts, and Erin handed over the small piece of paper to the woman standing there. "Welcome to St Vincent's. I'm Jill, and I'll be escorting you up to the surgical ward this morning. I'm sorry that you're here under less than pleasant circumstances."

Erin nodded as they stepped onto an elevator, and Penelope watched as Jill pressed the button for the second floor. She was somewhat relieved to know that it would be a short ride up, even if that meant she was closer to finding out just how poorly Kevin was doing. Stifling the next sob that threatened to leave her lips, she followed Jill out of the elevator car, going down a long corridor until they reached a family waiting room.

"I'll be right back with a nurse who can explain what's going on," Jill said softly as she left them there, and Erin guided Penelope to an open sofa, helping her to sit. She pulled Erin down next to her, resting her head on her chest, needing the comfort she knew her mother could offer. Absently, Erin ran her fingers through Penelope's hair as they awaited news.

A nurse in dark purple scrubs made a beeline for them, and she stiffened in Erin's arms, tightening a hand in the fabric of her blouse. "I'm Roxanna, one of the nurses who was in the operating room with your fiancé." She held out her hand, and Penelope shook it, finding that there were tremors in her grip, which she hoped the nurse wouldn't notice.

"Is Kevin out of surgery, then?" she asked, hating how hopeful her voice sounded. She had to be ready for the worst news, after all. And judging from the look on the woman's face, it was going to be bad news.

"I am sorry to say that he is not currently out of surgery, and it will be another couple of hours before he will head to recovery, and from there, to a room. I can continue to come and update you, so that you know how things go, if you'd like."

"Yes, please."

"Good. Now, I need to get back to the OR, I should have more news for you in an hour or so."

"Thank you, Roxanna," Erin replied as she smiled at the woman, who nodded and then left the room. The horrible quiet of the room slipped over them once more, and Erin began to card her fingers through her hair once more, as if she knew that Penelope needed the soft touches. "Darling?"

"Everything is falling apart at the seams," she murmured before letting loose the first quiet sobs slipped out. Erin let out a breath that sounded like a cry before she bent and pressed her lips against the crown of Penelope's head, humming lowly in an effort to soothe her.


	22. Chapter 22

The next thing Penelope knew, she was being gently woken up by Erin's hand shaking her shoulder. Blinking rapidly, she tried to focus on her face, only to see everything in a blur. Erin smiled and handed her her glasses before she lost the open look. Now that she was able to see clearly, she took notice of the tears that were falling down her cheeks, and how puffy and red her eyes were. Shaking her head a little, Penelope fought to keep control of her emotions, knowing that she was about to hear bad news.

"The doctor has come out to talk with us, Penelope. I think that you should probably sit up and talk with her."

She nodded as she took a few shallow breaths, feeling like her lungs weren't working properly at all. Erin helped her up, and Penelope leaned against her, needing to have her close at hand for what she was about to hear. She turned her attention from her mother to the tall, slim, figure standing in front of them in the same color scrubs the nurse had been wearing earlier. The doctor smiled ruefully at her as she took a seat on the low coffee table in front of them, holding onto a scrub cap. Penelope found that all she could focus on was the fact that it was leopard print.

"I'm Serena McMillan, and I was one of the surgeons who was working on Mister Lynch this morning. When he was brought up from the ER, he was quite insistent that someone had to let you know that everything would work out between you and your mother. I take it this is her?"

Penelope nodded once more, the smooth voice of the surgeon somehow making her feel more at ease. "Yes, we've only just found each other, thanks to my pregnancy. Kevin always knew that I would find her, and that things would be perfect for us, for all of us."

Another fleeting smile crossed the surgeon's face before she cleared her throat and looked down at her hands. "It's always so hard to tell the families this news. As you know, we were in surgery for quite some time, about eight hours in all, and there was just too much damage to his spleen and liver, in the end. Just when I'd repaired one vein, another seemed to open up. We fought just as hard to keep him alive as he fought to live for you and your baby."

"Did, did he feel much pain?" she asked, feeling inane for even uttering those words.

Serena shook her head a little. "Once he was under the general anesthetic, he felt nothing. It would have been like he went to sleep, and then slipped away."

Penelope pursed her lips together as she started to cry once more. "I wanted to tell him that I loved him."

"I think he knew. Now, since you weren't married, I won't be allowed to release his belongings into your custody, however, I think this belongs to you." The surgeon slipped a small red velvet box out of her scrubs pocket and handed it over. "It's small comfort on a day like this, but at least you have one more thing to hold onto."

"Thank you," she murmured as she took the box from Serena's hands, holding it close to her chest. "May I take some time here to recover?"

"Of course, take as much time as you'd like. And if you'd like to discuss this further, I'll be in my office for the next ninety minutes." She reached out and patted Penelope's hand tenderly. "I really am so sorry for your loss."

She nodded as Serena got up and left the room. Taking a shaky breath, Penelope held the box out in front of her, wondering if she had the strength to open it. Erin brought her hand up beneath hers, steadying it, and Penelope looked at her, seeing the heartbroken look on her face. "I was hoping that you would never have to hear those words, Penny. But I promise that I will not leave your side as we navigate this new world your facing."

"Okay," she whispered. "Would you open this for me? We weren't really engaged yet, so thank you for that kind lie."

"It was the only way to get you here." Erin took the small box from her hand and opened it, revealing a gorgeous ruby ring, flanked by two pink sapphires. It was a quirky ring, one that fit her personality entirely, and she sighed a little, fresh tears welling up in her eyes as she reached out to pluck it off the bed of satin, sliding it home on her ring finger. It fit perfectly, and she wondered when Kevin had found time to get it for her, since he had never asked about her ring size or anything like that.

"I will never forget you, Kevin," she murmured as she held out her hand, letting the low light of the room catch a few facets of the gems. "Do, do you think that they would let me see him, before…?"

She couldn't say the words, could barely think them, but somehow, Erin knew her intent, since she nodded and rose to her feet. Erin held out her hand and Penelope took it, letting herself be pulled to her feet before Erin enclosed her in a tight hug. "Let's go see Doctor McMillan, I'm certain that she'll be able to point us in the right direction."

Penelope let out a soft breath as she ran her hand down to Erin's, clasping it, and letting her lead them over to the nurse's station. Roxanna was sitting in front of a computer, typing rapidly, though she paused to look up at them after Erin had cleared her throat lowly. "I wish that we had been able to deliver better news to you, I really do."

"Life happens," she choked out as Erin squeezed her hand supportively. "But, Doctor McMillan said that she was available for us to talk to, if I had any questions? Could you point me in the right direction?"

"I'll take you to her office." Roxanna smiled sadly as she got to her feet, resting her hand on the small of Penelope's back as they went down the hall to the surgeon's office. Roxanna knocked lightly, and Serena looked up, giving them a small smile as she beckoned them inside.

"What can I do for you?" the woman asked as Erin shut the door before taking a seat next to Penelope.

"This is a really weird question…" Penelope bit her lip before darting her eyes over to Erin.

"Penelope would like to know if it would be possible for her to spend some time with the body before he goes to the coroner's office. Seeing as how we haven't had time to contact a funeral home, and have arrangements made."

Serena cleared her throat a little as she steepled her fingers, fixing her gaze on Penelope. "I won't lie to you, or sugarcoat things. There was a lot of damage to his body in the accident. Even if he had survived, he would have been facing a long road of rehab and follow up surgeries to correct issues as they arose. And while there was some cleanup done to his body, it will still be in a very raw condition. Are you certain that you wish to see him like that? It's easier to keep our memories of our loved ones in our hearts if we don't see the grisly aftermath of sudden death."

"I've seen enough dead bodies in the course of my work, ma'am, to not have to worry about losing my nerve or my lunch, if that's what you're worried about. And I know what people look like after they've been to the funeral home. This will probably be my last chance to see him as he was. Please, please, may I see him?"

Erin rested her hand on Penelope's arm, and she glanced over at the woman, seeing her fix her gaze on the surgeon. "I do hope it's not an impossible request to honor, Doctor McMillan."

"No, it's not, I just needed to be certain that you both would be prepared for what you'll see down there. Follow me." The surgeon stood, and led them out of the office to another set of elevators, and brought them down to the basement. It was colder than she had anticipated, but she took it in stride, stepping closer to Erin as they travelled down a long hall. "All right, he's in here. I'll need to speak to the coroner a moment, and then everything should be fine."

Doctor McMillan left their sides as she headed into an office. Penelope turned to Erin, searching her face for something she wasn't quite certain she needed. Erin gave her a sad smile before cupping her cheek with her hand, running her thumb back and forth. "Are you certain that you want to do this?"

"Yes, I am. I wasn't allowed to see my parents until after everything, and even though it was them, it wasn't. I need one last glimpse of the Kevin I loved before he leaves me entirely. Please, tell me you understand."

"I do, my darling girl, I just wanted to protect you from this bit of life, if I could." Erin kissed her cheek tenderly and then firmly held her hand as they waited for Doctor McMillan to return.


	23. Chapter 23

Penelope was quiet as they walked to the car. It had still been a little shocking to see her Kevin in that state, but Erin had been by her side the entire time, never judging her. The display of solidarity further shored up the developing feelings of familial love towards the woman, and she felt confident that she had made the right choice in hunting down her birth mother. Erin helped her into the passenger seat of the car, and as she was coming around to the driver's side, Penelope dug out her phone, handing it to Erin as she climbed behind the wheel.

"What would you like me to do with this?" she asked kindly as she stuck the key into the ignition, letting it hang there as she looked at her.

"Would you call Derek, and let him know the news? And if you want to call Dave, after that, that's okay, too. He's saved under Italian Stallion in my address book, since it's my personal phone. Der's under Chocolate Thunder."

"And what am I saved as?"

Penelope blushed a little as she pursed her lips together. "I haven't put you in my address book yet, seeing as how you haven't been in my inner circle for very long. But you'll be saved as Mother Erin, once I get your info."

"Mother Erin, huh? I rather like the sound of that," she replied as she looked back down at the phone. "It's locked again."

"Oh, right," Penelope said as she took the phone back and unlocked it. Erin took the device and scrolled through her contact list before pressing on the screen and bringing it to her ear.

Penelope made herself comfortable in the passenger seat as she listened to Erin talk to Derek, informing him of Kevin's passing. They spoke at length, which surprised Penelope, but she was glad that they were able to discuss things without raising their voices. "I think she'd really like that, Agent Morgan. Thank you for thinking of her at this time. I need to talk to David now, but feel free to call her later on this evening." She hung up and then dialed a number from memory, smiling at Penelope as she brought the phone to her ear once more. "I'm sorry, David, it's me, calling from Penelope's phone. I'm bringing her home as soon as I'm done talking with you. I'm assuming Agent Morgan will fill you in on what happened, but…I'm going to need you tonight. Thank you, darling, I love you, too. Yes. Always. Goodbye."

Tears sparkled in Erin's eyes as she handed the phone back to Penelope. "When are you two getting married?" she blurted out, needing something to take her mind off things as they started to drive back to her apartment.

"Probably never. We've had enough failed marriages between us to know that sometimes marriage just doesn't work out. But I know that I will be faithful to him until the day I die."

"That's so beautiful, Erin," she whispered as she turned and looked out the window, watching the people that they passed by, hoping beyond hope that their day was better than hers was shaping up to be. In the blink of an eye, it seemed, they were pulling into her parking lot, and Erin stopped, looking at her. "Oh, my passcode. It's 0215." She watched Erin type it in, and then the gate lifted, and they were finding a parking spot.

"I can stay with you the whole day. I contacted Director Sheppard while you were sleeping, and he agreed that due to the upheaval in both our lives at the moment, we could have whatever time off we needed. Just let me know if I'm hovering too much, my daughters never fail to tell me that I'm a bit of a helicopter mom."

"Okay," she murmured as they got out of the vehicle, and they walked arm in arm up to the stoop. Penelope punched in her passcode before letting them in. As they walked up the stairs, Penelope let silence fall over them once more, not really knowing what to say. A wave of exhaustion slipped over her, and she knew that she didn't want to sleep anymore, but that it was probably a losing battle at this point. "I think I'm going to be boring, though, Erin. I just want to sleep right now."

"And that's perfectly okay. You have had a lot of turmoil in your life right now, and I can get some things done for you while you sleep. I had Helen forward me his parents' contact information, so I'll call them with the news while you sleep, and then take it from there," she replied as they stopped outside her door. Penelope unlocked it, and kicked off her shoes as they made their way inside. Erin copied her movements, and they went into the bedroom.

Erin pulled back the sheets and Penelope crawled into bed without even bothering to think about taking her bra off. For the second time in as many days, Erin tucked her in, and then kissed her forehead before sitting on the edge of her bed and singing her quietly to sleep.

When she woke up, she heard voices in her living room. Throwing back the covers, she slipped out of bed and padded into the other room. She was surprised to see that besides Erin, Emily and JJ were there. All three women turned and looked at her as she entered, and she waved a little to them as they gave her various attempts at smiles. "Hey," she murmured as she walked over to Erin, slipping her arm around Erin's waist as she focused on her friends. A tight, questioning, look passed over Emily's face, while JJ gave a dirty look to Erin before turning a sympathetic gaze to Penelope.

"Are you feeling okay?" Emily asked, still looking between the two of them.

"No. Not at all. Kevin died today. He was in a horrible accident, and despite everything that the surgeons tried to do, they still weren't good enough. I lost everything in the space of eight hours. Tell me, do you really think I should be feeling okay, Emily?" she spit out, feeling hysteria bubble up her throat until it threatened to choke her.

The woman had the grace to blush a little, and Penelope rolled her eyes before turning her attention on Erin, seeing as how she had sharply squeezed her side. "I think that I'm going to order us Chinese. I know that Penelope and I haven't eaten all day, and breakfast feels like a million years ago. Is there anything in particular that either of you would like, or should I just use my best judgment?"

"I prefer chicken, ma'am," Emily replied evenly, though her words still had a tinge of disrespect to them. "JJ will eat anything you throw in front of her."

Erin nodded before stepping away from Penelope and drifting into the kitchen, rummaging around the counter while she took a seat between JJ and Emily. "She took you to the hospital? Why didn't Derek?"

"Because he wasn't in the bullpen yet. We were both early, because we had some good news to tell you all about. Good news that seems like an afterthought now, and I don't know how I'll tell you, honestly. But Erin has been a wonderful rock that I can rest upon, and I don't think that I could ask for a better companion. I know that you don't understand, but trust my judgment in this, okay?"

"I'll try," JJ replied, sounding thoroughly put out. "But I can't say that I'll be nice. You can't make me be nice."

"I know that, Jayje, but I can still want the best from everyone."

Emily patted her knee gently, and she looked at the woman, feeling her eyes fill with yet more tears. "What happened? Did you ever find out?"

"He was killed by a drunk driver, just like my parents. What are the odds of that happening to one person in a lifetime?" Her words wobbled a little and Emily wrapped her in a tight hug, allowing her to sob on her shoulder. "Why does death stalk me?"

"Death stalks everyone from the moment we're born, Penelope. Sometimes, we're just really good at forgetting that little fact." Erin handed Penelope a glass of water and her prenatal vitamins. "The food should be here in about twenty minutes. Can I get either of you anything to drink?"

"Water," JJ almost snapped, and Erin nodded evenly, looking at Emily.

"Water will be fine for me, too, ma'am." Her voice had finally evened out into a softer tone, and Penelope was grateful for her kindness. Erin nodded once more before heading back to the kitchen. From the noises she was making, Penelope knew that the woman was searching for a pitcher.

"Check the cupboard next to the fridge!" she called out, smiling to hear the muffled thanks thrown back to her. And then, there was nothing more to do but wait for their food and hope that they could all come together, so that Penelope wouldn't feel like she was losing the rest of her family, too.


	24. Chapter 24

The buzzer rang on the door twenty five minutes later, and Penelope was glad that something had finally broken the tension in the room. Erin had tried to keep up a running conversation, but as it became clearer and clearer that she was the only one responding to her mother, things had dwindled down to a dull quiet, JJ or Emily occasionally asking quickly answered questions. All the while, the tension had ratcheted up another degree with every minute.

Erin popped to her feet and scurried over to the door, rummaging through her purse to get money. Emily nudged Penelope's side with her elbow before jerking her head towards the door, and Penelope shrugged a little, giving her friend a soft smile. "You could have offered to pay, too, you know. She just happened to be the first on her feet."

Emily nodded a little before standing as well, holding her hand out to her. Penelope clasped it and used the leverage to pull her to her feet. "What can we do to help, then?" Emily asked as she picked up her glass from the coffee table.

"Let's get the table set," she replied as she picked up her glass and the pitcher. Emily nodded before motioning for JJ to follow them. JJ reluctantly agreed as she stood, following them into the small kitchen. "All right, if you want to refill the water pitcher, Emily, I'll grab utensils. Jayje, you remember where the plates are, yes?"

"Yeah."

In short order, they had the table ready to eat, and when Erin bustled in, her hands filled with the bags of food, there was a happy smile on her lips. "I think they included some extras for us, I know I did not order this much."

"The owner knows me well enough that he very well could have put some extras in there," Penelope replied as she took a bag from Erin's hands and opened it, breathing in the delicious scent. "And it smells like dumplings! Which means that he must have put the plum sauce in here somewhere." Reaching in, she grabbed out the first container and handed it to JJ. Erin chuckled a little as she went over to the table and began to take out cartons and containers of her own, arranging them in the center of the table before passing out chopsticks to them all.

Erin took a seat on Emily's left hand, leaving the spot open for Penelope as a buffer between her and JJ. A sad smile passed across her face as she recognized what she had done, and she sank into the seat, reaching her hand out for Erin. Her mother squeezed it before taking a deep breath and digging into the first container. The others followed suit, and Penelope just assumed that the meal would be as strained as the minutes before it. There had to be a way to break this ridiculous tension, but she had no way of knowing what she could do to bring that about.

"So, I really hope that you don't mind being grounded for a week. I will need time to find a suitable replacement for the hole that Mister Lynch's passing has left us with, and Penelope will, for very obvious reasons, be out of commission as well. I don't know how much time I will be spending in the office, either, since there are duties that I have to fulfill. The only thing I ask is that you support her as she travels down this road."

Erin looked down at her plate after her little speech, and Penelope sighed, wondering what it had cost her to make it. JJ merely raised an eyebrow when she looked at her, as if she wouldn't agree with Erin no matter what she had said. "I'm certain that we'll be able to do that, ma'am," Emily softly replied, and Penelope gave her a grateful smile as she dug into her food.

"Thank you." Erin fell quiet once more as they ate, and Penelope found her appetite slowly ebbing away the longer the quiet lingered. Somehow, they managed to get through the meal, and Emily stood up, gathering the plates and scraping them off in the trash before placing them in the washer while JJ packed up the leftovers and put them in the fridge. Penelope got up and tugged on Erin's sleeve as she gestured towards the living room. She nodded and got up, following after her, taking a seat next to her on the sofa.

Penelope nestled in close to her, feeling like a deep chill was settling in her heart, now that she had time to really comprehend what had happened that morning. Unconsciously, she began to worry a pinch of Erin's shirt between her fingers, shivering a little. "Are you okay?" Erin murmured just as the others joined them. JJ was almost glaring at them as she came to a stop by the coffee table.

"All right, I just have to address the elephant in the room here. After we were informed by Director Shepperd that we weren't going on a case today, we had an informal briefing on what had occurred this morning, and I overheard Rossi and Hotch talking when we had disbanded. Rossi said something crazy, but after watching the way the two of you are interacting, I can't help but think that there's some merit to this crazy rumor."

"Spit it out, Jennifer." There was a touch of annoyance in Erin's voice, and Penelope pursed her lips to keep from giggling inappropriately. JJ frowned a little deeper before throwing a desperate look to Emily, as if she wanted her to be the confronter. "Or shall I say it, if you find it that distasteful?"

JJ hmphed a little as she shook her head. "Fine. Are you really Penelope's birth mother?"

Penelope's hand stilled it's movements, and Erin closed her hand around the ball of her shoulder, her thumb tapping against her skin as she looked up at JJ. "For profilers, I sometimes wonder why it is so hard to see what's right beneath your noses. Then again, I know that we don't try to profile ourselves, do we? It leads to sticky wickets and all that. Yes. I am Penelope's birth mother. I had her at an extremely young age due to some poor choices in my life, and I gave her the life that I knew I never could, if I had not given her up for adoption."

Emily's face fell, and Penelope would have thought that she was going to cry as she turned and made to go for the door. "Emily! Can't we at least talk about this?" Penelope said, hating to hear the anguish evident in her voice.

"It's not that, PG. Really. I have to go." JJ nodded, and went to join her, only for Erin to gently push Penelope away and stand. "Really, ma'am, I…"

"Nonsense. I've monopolized enough of Penny's time. She needs her friends right now, too, and I understand that. There will be time to bond later, after everything settles down. And I have to be there for my children when they get home from school. Really, Emily, Jennifer, I insist that you stay."

Erin looked back at Penelope, and she could read her face so clearly. Penelope wondered if she would always be that open to her, and a part of her wished that was so. She stood and stepped up to Erin, throwing her arms around her in a desperate hug. "Do you have to leave?" she whispered brokenly in her ear.

"Yes. You need this time with them, just like you need time with me. I will be back in the morning, shortly after nine." Erin hugged her back just as tightly before heading towards the door, walking between Emily and JJ. To Penelope's shock, Emily reached out and touched Erin's shoulder softly, and she knew there was a story there, one that no one knew, and she also wondered if Emily would tell her about it.

Once Erin had left, JJ flounced over to the couch and sat heavily, staring at Penelope and Emily. "Why did you go to her first, instead of telling us that she was your mother?" she asked, still sounding a bit petulant.

"Because I knew that if I didn't tell her as soon as I found out, I would never have had the courage to do so later. And I guess it happened at a perfect time, because at least now I have a grandmother for my baby."

Emily wrapped her arm through Penelope's as she led her over to the couch, taking a seat on her other side. "Hey, I guess we're now one big BAU family. Though do not tell Strauss that I said that. Ever!"

Penelope let out a tiny chuckle as she nodded. "She's not quite the ogre that she was. I think that you both would like her if you got to know her better. And I know, we have a bond that sort of colors how I view her, but beyond that, there's a soft heart that she doesn't show at work. I know, you both have good reason to hate her, but I have good reason to love her."

JJ rolled her eyes a little as she looked at Penelope. "She could very well stab us all in the back, and you know that, Penelope. She's done it before."

"Things have changed, almost overnight, for me. I lost Kevin, but I gained a mother. That is all I can focus on right now. I hope you both can understand that, because I don't think that I'll be able to give her up at this point. Not after how she looked after me so well." Penelope looked from JJ to Emily, hoping that, with time, they would come to understand.


	25. Chapter 25

Penelope came awake with a start. She had been in the middle of a bad dream, and couldn't startle herself from it. Then, some small noise in her apartment managed to stir her, and she whipped her head around to see Erin was in her living room, straightening up the mess she had left out the previous evening, picking up the bowls that JJ and Emily had forgotten to put away last night. "When did you get a key?" she asked, sleep thickening her voice.

Erin turned to look at her, a startled look on her face. "Oh! You're awake! I was hoping that I could get in and out without waking you. And Derek was kind enough to make me a duplicate key yesterday, after I'd left here. If there's one thing I am good at, it's being a mother hen, just ask my children." She shrugged a little before turning back towards the coffee table, grabbing the glasses before moving from her line of vision.

"You don't have to clean up after me, I can do this on my own," she said as she slipped out of bed and stepped into fuzzy unicorn slippers and threw a silk dressing gown over her thin nightgown, finding her apartment cooler than she liked. Padding out into the living room, she saw that Erin was in front of the sink, filling it with water and soap as she hummed lowly under her breath. "Really, Erin, this is my home, my work."

"I know, but let me be useful to you. Please?"

Penelope knew that she was fighting a losing battle, and so she let her shoulders slump as she nodded. "I suppose that I have to agree to that, after all, you are my mother." Erin chuckled and nodded as Penelope took a seat on the table. "I don't suppose that you brought me coffee?"

"Caffeine isn't good for you this early in the pregnancy. But I could make us a pot of tea. You do have a good selection in your cupboard."

"How would you know that?" she asked, cocking her head to one side.

"I bought your groceries for the week before I came over. Don't worry, I asked Agent Morgan what you liked before I went crazy, and I didn't get anything perishable, but I wanted to make certain you had everything you needed. And when I put them away, I sort of learned the position of where everything is. Would you like some tea?"

"Sure."

"And how about breakfast? Waffles, toast, pancakes?"

"Granola sounds the best this morning, with yogurt. I think there's still some vanilla in the fridge." Erin nodded, and Penelope slipped off the table to grab out bowls and mugs. They worked in almost perfect tandem, which surprised her, since they hadn't been together that often yet. "You are going to eat with me, right?"

"Of course," Erin said as she turned to her and smiled kindly. "How was your sleep last night?"

"Not the best? JJ and Emily didn't leave until about one in the morning, and when I finally settled down into a deep sleep, my dreams were plagued with reminders of what I had lost." She returned the smile sadly before glancing over at the fridge. "I feel adrift?"

"That's to be expected. This loss you've suffered is unimaginable, and you're not going to just get over something like that. Grief is a funny animal, and we can't expect to tame her easily." They sighed in unison, and Penelope found herself so grateful for this time alone with Erin, really getting to know her, away from the questioning gazes of the others.

"I'm glad that you're here," she blurted out, unable to keep the words in any longer.

Erin paused and looked at her, her eyes filling with tears. "And I'm glad you're so open, after this tragedy. When I lost my father, I closed myself off from everyone, even my ex-husband, and I lost something in the process."

Penelope went over to her side and reached out to touch her shoulder, a tremulous smile on her lips. "I think that the upheaval of finding you along with losing Kevin, has made me more open. Because I can't bear to be shut off from everyone I love."

"I know." Erin's eyes had turned a stormy grey, and Penelope drifted in a little closer, letting her mother tug her into a tight hug as they cried together. "I promise, I'm not usually such a crier. This is just such a shock to my system, and I can't control everything like I normally do. Maybe in a week or two, I'll be back to my normal, Ice Queen, self."

"Maybe. But I'll always know this side of you, and I'll keep it close to my heart."

Erin gave her a small smile before turning back to the fridge and pulling out the yogurt. "What would you like to do after breakfast? I should probably hoover a bit, and there's some things to clean in the bathroom. I know that you don't have much time…"

"You're not going to be my servant, Erin. I'll get to those things, I promise."

"Yes, but…"

"No. Let's eat, and then we'll think about what comes next." Erin reluctantly nodded as she rummaged around in the cupboard for her tea caddy. While she was occupied, Penelope started the kettle of water on the stove before taking a seat at the table, resting her head on her hands as she watched Erin. "We're both so stubborn," she said, hoping to break the a little of the tension that had sprung up between them.

"We are. And I have to make allowances for your grief. I'm sorry, I don't mean to hurt you, however unintentionally."

She slid her hand across the table, palm side up. Erin covered it with her own, and squeezed it softly before pulling her hand back and spooning out some of the yogurt. "If everything was sunshine and roses all the time, we wouldn't know how to deeply love," Penelope murmured as she made her own bowl of yogurt, liberally covering the top with her favorite granola. The kettle began to whistle, and Erin popped to her feet before Penelope could, taking it off the burner and filling their mugs before flipping off the burner and putting the kettle back.

"I agree with you, there," her mother replied, flashing her a winsome smile.

Suddenly, Penelope knew exactly what she wanted to do with the rest of her day, the rest of her week. "You know, I hardly think it's fair that you get to see so much about me, and where I live."

"Yes?"

"I think that I'd like to spend some time in a new environment. Namely, your home, getting to know you and my half-siblings. We wouldn't have to say who I am at first, we could slowly ease them into that idea, but I feel like I need to be somewhere else. There are just…"

"Ghosts?"

She nodded. "Well, do you think I could? Please?"

"If that's what you truly want, then yes." Erin gave her a tender smile before focusing on her food, fishing the tea bag from her mug and setting it on her saucer. "Though I feel like you're going to be bored out of your mind at my place."

"I'll get to know my family better, I don't think that can be boring. And it might help take my mind off the awful truth of my reality. Have, have you heard from any funeral homes yet? I know that these things have to be dealt with right away, but since Kevin's parents haven't contacted me, I feel like I've been out of the loop."

"I haven't heard anything, either. I can make a few inquiries if you'd like?"

"Perhaps. I don't know. I feel like I need to do this for myself. But what if I'm not strong enough?"

"You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, Penelope." Erin smiled before taking a slow sip of tea. "But if you don't want me to call, I'm certain that Agent Morgan or Agent Prentiss would do that for you."

Penelope shrugged as she poked at her yogurt. Just as with her meal yesterday, food had no taste, but she knew that she had to keep eating, for the baby, if nothing else. The baby was the last piece of Kevin that she had, and she would do anything to keep them healthy. "We never even went to an ultrasound together," she whispered, fighting back tears.

"Life is a bitch, isn't she?"

Hearing something akin to Emily spill forth from Erin's lips caught her attention quick enough to stem the tears that had been trembling in her eyes, and she let out a great crack of laughter before clapping her hands over her mouth, trying to hold her mirth in, since it didn't seem that appropriate. From the tender look on Erin's face, though, it seemed like it was an entirely fine response. "I never would have thought you to sound like Emily."

"There are depths to me of which you know not," was the swift reply, and Penelope nodded, suddenly feeling a tiny bit better despite everything that was happening around her at that moment.


	26. Chapter 26

Penelope lingered over her food, enough so that Erin gave her a longsuffering look before pushing away from the table and cleaning up everything but her bowl and mug. "I'm going to find the vacuum and get started on that," she said as she dropped a kiss to the top of Penelope's head.

"It's in the closet by the door," she said offhandedly as she tried to finish eating. Despite being in a better mood, thanks to Erin, she just couldn't seem to find her appetite, and so she finally gave up as the vacuum came to life. Pushing away from the table, she scraped out the remains of her breakfast into the sink, rinsing it down the disposal before putting the bowl and spoon in the washer and starting it, since there were quite a few dishes to clean.

Grabbing her mug of tea, she padded out into the living room and flopped down onto the couch, fishing for the television remote and flipping through until she found something mindless to watch while Erin cleaned. Again, she knew that she was losing this battle with Erin, so she occupied herself until she was done. "How long does your dishwasher normally take?"

"About an hour. It's an older machine."

"All right, while that's going, then, do you want to pull together a bag to take with you? And you still have to get dressed for the day."

"What? I can't wear my pajamas outside?"

The look Erin fixed on her caused her to giggle a little. "No, you may not. I have never allowed any of my children to leave the house without at least wearing what appears to be regular clothes. I don't care if they're in punk, party kei, or workout gear, but I insist on appropriate clothes for the occasion."

"Oh, thank God, Erin! You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that! There are just so many excuses for dressing up and looking fun, that I can't imagine just shuffling around in this all day." She waved her hand up and down her body, and Erin nodded in reply. "All right, let me go pick an outfit and shower and get ready. I promise, I won't take forever, like I normally do."

"Okay."

"And here, use my tablet, so that you're not completely bored while I do this." Erin smiled as she took the device and began to poke around on it. As she lost herself in the tech, Penelope smiled and made her way into her bedroom to find something to wear. She quickly settled on a comfortable sweater and skirt before slipping into the bathroom and stripping off her robe and nightgown.

As she stepped beneath the stream of water, she sighed with pleasure, the warmth of it filling her with a sense of peace that she had been struggling to find all morning. Since she kept the water on the cooler side of warm, she was able to take a little longer, really letting the water work out some of the knots in her muscles. Finally, though, she knew that she had to get moving, and she turned the water off, letting the water drip off her body before reaching out for a clean towel to wrap around herself. Stepping out of the shower, she moved across the bathroom to look at her reflection in the mirror. It was clear that sorrow had marked her, since there were large dark circles beneath her eyes, and she knew that she would have to do some serious makeup recovery if she was going to be seen in public.

Sighing a little, she dried off her face before going through her makeup routine, making certain to use a fuller coverage foundation and concealer. Once that was taken care of, she got dressed and then stepped out into the living room. Erin was reading something on the tablet, barely looking up when Penelope drifted over to her side and hung over the back of the couch. "Are you finally done?" she asked without even looking up from her book.

"Yeah, sorry. I suppose that we should throw together a bag for me now. And maybe I don't need to bring makeup? As long as you promise me that we'll stay homebound?"

"How about I get together a small makeup bag for you while you pick out clothes? If we divide and conquer, it should take half the time, yes?"

Penelope nodded and stood up, heading into her bedroom and then pulling out a suitcase and setting it on her bed. She slowly began to sort through her clothes, trying to decide on what to bring, knowing that she wouldn't be gone forever, but still not knowing what kind of image she wanted to present to Erin's children, her half-siblings. Should she dress normally, and not make a good first impression, or should she subdue her natural inclinations and let them find out gradually who she was? Unable to make a choice, she instead rifled through her closet until she touched her one black dress, pulling it out and slipping it off the hanger. As she folded the dress, Penelope thought about what the funeral would be like, allowing her thoughts to spiral rapidly out of her control.

Erin's hand touching her shoulder broke her from her reverie, and she slowly turned her head to look at Erin, seeing the makeup bag in her hand. "I think you're going to need more to wear than one dress, Penny. How about I choose the clothes while you gather up undergarments?"

She nodded in relief, so glad to have someone take over for her, and drifted over to her dresser, gathering up a week's worth of underwear, bras, and tights before turning back to the bed and dropping them in the suitcase haphazardly. Erin clucked her tongue a little, and Penelope pursed her lips together, feeling suddenly, overwhelmingly, tired. "What is wrong with me, Erin? I just can't find it in myself to care."

Erin dropped the skirt she was folding, and Penelope watched it slip onto the floor as Erin came up to her side and reached out to cup her cheek tenderly. "You don't care because you're trying to wall off your emotions over what happened. Because your heart is so bruised right now, you don't want to feel anything more. It's an understandable reaction, but one that I will not allow you to indulge in for very long. You'll believe me cruel and unkind, but I need to keep you feeling so that you'll want to stay."

Penelope had no idea how Erin had managed to see into the depths of her heart and mind, to read what she hadn't really acknowledged in herself yet, but her shoulders sagged as she nodded. "I would expect nothing less of my boss or my mother. The fact that you are both, well, that means you'll keep me even keeled, yes?"

"Exactly." Erin knelt down and picked up the skirt she'd dropped, folding it away in the suitcase before zipping it closed. "I know you'll want to bring your tablet, and your phones, so gather them up while I use the bathroom."

Penelope did as told, shoving the devices and a charger into her purse before going over to the door and slipping into her coat, waiting for Erin to join her. "I'm ready?"

"Are you?" Erin asked as she cocked her head to one side. Penelope took a deep breath before she nodded, stepping into shoes and opening the door. Erin nodded and smiled warmly at her as she carried the suitcase out into the hall as she locked the door behind them. "All right, let's head out."

Penelope smiled as they started down the hall, only to run into Derek. He looked between the two of them, a small frown appearing on his face the longer he looked at Erin. "Where are you off to, Baby Girl?" he asked possessively, his hand curling around her shoulder as he pulled her away from Erin a little.

"Erin's agreed to take me in, like an orphaned kitten," she murmured, feeling the smile on her lips wobble a little as he pulled her into a tight hug.

"That's kind of her, after everything that's happened." Penelope nodded as she pulled away from him, looking over at Erin. "I hope that she's going to take the very best care of you for a while?"

"That is the plan, Agent Morgan," Erin replied softly. Penelope could read on her face that she was shy around him, but trying to appear aloof, and she swallowed a little before letting go of Derek and going back to her side. "I promise you, I won't be locking her up in a tower like Mother Gothel," she quipped, and Penelope was surprised to hear Derek quickly laugh as he picked up her suitcase and followed after them.

"No, I rather imagine that you're a bit like Rapunzel's mother, being reunited with her at long last. If it wasn't tangled up in this tragedy with Kevin, I'd almost say that it was a fairy tale ending." His free hand patted her shoulder as they continued down the stairs. Erin sighed a little, and Penelope was glad to hear the sound, since that meant there was some bond starting to form between them. Glancing back at Derek, she saw the hesitant look on his face and gave him an encouraging smile. "And someone has to look after my Baby Girl. It might as well be her mother."

A choked sob tore from Erin's lips as they left the building, and Penelope stopped them on the stoop, enveloping her mother in a tight hug. She squeaked a little in surprise when Derek sandwiched her between them, his embrace all the sweeter because it was so spontaneous. "You are not to tell anyone else that you've seen me like this, Agent Morgan."

"Derek, ma'am. And I wouldn't dream of breathing a word of this private moment to anyone." He broke the hug and threaded his arm through Penelope's as Erin led them over to her car. As she opened the trunk, Derek set the suitcase on the ground and wrapped Penelope in a tight hug. "You do know I love you, Baby Girl?"

"Not nearly as much as I love you. Thanks for being so kind to her. JJ wasn't quite so keen on the news. And I have no idea how the others are taking it, since no one else has been by. Tell them, tell them, that I'm being well taken care of, and that I'll start reaching out again in a day or two. I just need this time to rest and refresh."

He nodded before kissing her forehead softly. "Of course, I will." Looking over her shoulder, he smiled widely. "And if you need anything, too, ma'am, don't hesitate to call. We're here for you." Penelope turned so that she could see Erin's reaction, her heart melting a little as she watched her mother nod, a bright smile on her lips.

"Thank you, Derek." The name was hesitant on her lips, but it showed Penelope that she was open to becoming friendly with her friends, something that she would never have thought possible just a few days ago. If only it hadn't come at such a high cost.


	27. Chapter 27

Penelope waved to Derek as Erin pulled out of the parking lot, a tiny smile on her lips when he blew her a kiss in return. Once he was out of her line of sight, Penelope curled up in the seat with her body angled towards Erin, watching her as she drove. "How long have you been friends with Derek?" Erin finally asked, when they were a few miles down the road.

Penelope felt a smile sweep across her features as she shrugged a little. "It's really hard to imagine a time when we weren't friends. I think that some of the team was just getting over the Amerithrax debacle, and Gideon had been injured in Boston, when I came in to work with the BAU. Hotch was probably the first one to see just what I am made of, since my "resume" was on that pretty pink paper."

"Don't remind me, he showed it off to me, too." Erin said, taking her hand off the wheel for a moment to tweak her nose lightly. "You certainly blew into our lives in a colorful whirlwind."

"And never left. For reasons you know all too well."

Erin nodded and then took a deep breath. "If you ever do want to do something different, let me know. I can pull strings for you."

"I don't think there's any other place I want to be, now. I've made a family for myself in the BAU. But that still doesn't answer your question. So, they were working on the case of the amnesiac that woke up, and it was my first few days with the BAU. Der hadn't heard my name right, and called me Gomez for probably the first week. It really endeared me to him, since I figured that I would be the one to make a gaffe like that. See, I was accustomed to calling people by their hacker handles, not real names. And when that becomes your habit, well, it's hard to break."

Erin nodded. "I can imagine. There's also a certain symmetry to us, since once you become a Section Chief, you have to go from calling everyone by their last name to using their title or first name. I fumbled over that for the first three months. Thankfully, Jason was doing most of his recuperating during that time, so he couldn't try to embarrass me for it."

There was a story there, and Penelope knew that one day she'd get it out of her, if she asked enough questions. "Gideon was a bit of a jerk. I mean, I came to like him well enough, for a time, but the way he left the team? Abandoning us because a case went so dreadfully wrong? Well, I just didn't think it was right."

Erin chuckled a little, and Penelope noticed that she was blushing deeply. "That was when I went with the team to Milwaukee. It was a rough case, since everyone there hated me. But someone had to be the heavy, and try to get things done according to protocol. Director Shepperd was scrutinizing your team so closely, and I wanted to keep an eye on them, to protect them from the coming onslaught. I could have gone about things a little better, yes, but…it is very hard to balance politics with getting things done."

Penelope nodded, understanding where she was coming from. "I still can't believe you talked to me, after the way I answered the phone," she couldn't help but tease, and Erin's blush started to travel down her neck. "Usually, Derek is the one to answer the phone. We have a banter that makes the dark cases seem lighter, and I forget that not everyone understands that."

"I understand now, since Aaron made certain to put it in his reports, after that little incident." Erin let out a soft sigh. "But I suppose that you're right, there does need to be some levity, within reason, when you're searching for leads in these cases. I only see bits and pieces of them, fragments that remind me of what I left behind when I was suddenly called up to be the Section Chief of the BAU."

"I'll want to hear all about that story, too, one day," Penelope replied as she yawned a little. "I think I'm going to nap for the rest of the ride, if you don't mind?"

"That's fine. Sleep can be just as healing as bonding." Erin glanced down quickly to give her an understanding smile, and Penelope nodded as she let her eyes flutter closed. Some time later, she woke up to the sound of her name being called softly, and she opened her eyes to see that Erin was smiling down at her, her hand stroking her hair lightly. "Sleeping beauty awakens."

"That's the second princess I've been named as today. What gives?"

Erin shrugged a little as she helped Penelope out of the car. "All my daughters are princesses to me, Penny. My son is my little prince. And now I have a third princess to love." Penelope pursed her lips together as she nodded, feeling a bit overwhelmed at the love she was being shown. "Let's head inside, now."

Penelope followed in her mother's footsteps, heading into a small mudroom. "Do I need to take my shoes off?"

Erin shook her head. "No, you haven't gotten them dirty. But you can hang your coat here, if you wish." She nodded and shrugged out of it, placing it on a hook next to Erin's before making her way into the kitchen. It was warm and airy, something she hadn't ever really thought of when she considered Erin, but still fit her nonetheless. "I already put your bag in the guest room, but we can do a small house tour, to get you accustomed to our home."

She nodded and hooked her arm with Erin, letting her guide her into the next room. It was a grand dining room, and she pictured herself having elegant dinners here in the future. From there, Erin led her into a sunny day room, and Penelope dropped her purse into the plush chair near the door, knowing that she would be spending a lot of time in this room, since it was the one that reminded her the most of home.

Erin chuckled a little as she tugged on her arm, guiding her into the hall. "We'll do upstairs in just a second," she said lowly before showing off the downstairs bathroom and then the living room, where a blonde head popped up at the sound of their footsteps. "Bruce! What are you doing home already?"

"I didn't feel well, so I had Dad pick me up. He mentioned that he had something to discuss with you tonight. Are you ignoring your calls?"

Erin frowned a little as she pulled out her mobile, taking a look at the display. "Fuck," she murmured under her breath, and Penelope patted her arm gently. "I've had it on silent for the last couple days. Do you have any idea what he wants?"

"Not really," he replied, and as Penelope studied his face, she began to see little pieces of herself in him. Bruce gave her a questioning look, as if he knew the scrutiny was a little much. "So, why do we have a visitor?"

Erin took a deep breath before she looked at Penelope. "Can you promise not to tell your sisters before I do?" He nodded. "This is your half-sister, Penelope. I gave her up for adoption when she was born, and through an amazing twist of fate, she's been working with the BAU this entire time, though she only just found out the truth, and told me about it. We're going to tell everyone tonight, and Penelope is going to be spending a little time here. Because there's always some bad with the good in life, her fiancé was in a bad car accident yesterday morning, and he passed away. She's going to need the support of family around her at this time."

Bruce gave her a small smile as he nodded. "Well, whatever Dad might have to say, nothing will be able to top that." He stood up and came around to their sides. Penelope tried to smile at him, but still felt it wobble a little. Bruce looked at her sympathetically before pulling her into a tight hug. "Welcome to the madness, sis."

"Thanks," she murmured, a bit overwhelmed at his easy acceptance. Erin touched her shoulder lightly, and she looked at her, seeing the bemused smile on her lips. "I think that I need to go on the rest of the tour now."

"Yeah, you don't want to leave Mom waiting, she's a stickler for punctuality," Bruce said as he gently pushed her away. "But I can say that I am happy to be an uncle. Can I call dibs on naming the baby? Since you are new to the family and all?"

Penelope laughed as she shook her head. "I have a name in mind already. Maybe the next one?"

He nodded as Erin tugged Penelope towards the door. "I hope he didn't upset you," she murmured as they made for the stairs.

"No, it felt good to laugh and be reminded that I am alive," she responded, finding it true. "But, I really do have a name picked out, if I have a son. He'll be Kevin, just like his father." Erin nodded as she rested her hand on Penelope's shoulder, the love on her face enough to let Penelope know that she would be able to get through this, with her help.


	28. Chapter 28

After Erin had shown Penelope where her room would be, they had both came back down to the sitting room, Penelope curling up on the chaise lounge while Erin took residence in the plush chair, picking up a book off the side table and continuing to read while Penelope caught up on her email. The quiet of the day allowed her to drift off to sleep, and the next thing she knew, voices close to her were waking her up.

Sitting up, she stretched and looked behind her to see two blonde girls, staring at her and talking quickly back and forth. Penelope smiled a little as she stood, clasping her hands behind her back as she looked at them. "I'm Penelope."

"We know, Mom told us that we had a guest. Though it's the worst time to have a guest, because Dad is staying for supper tonight, and he won't like having an unknown interloper at the table. Especially when Mom tells him that you think you're her daughter."

Penelope blanched a little as she saw that things were not going to be quite as easy with her sisters as they had been with Bruce. "It is true, I am her daughter, which makes us half-sisters. I know, it's a shock, it was a shock to me when I followed the evidence to this conclusion. But there will be time for explanations later. What are your names?"

The younger of the two held her hand out to Penelope. "I'm Tabitha. Karen is a bit of a stick in the mud, but I always believe that one should hear the whole story before passing judgement. And if Mom let you in here, and allowed you access to the guest room, you have to be a good person."

Penelope went over to them, shaking Tabitha's hand. "It is very good to meet you both. Is it almost time for supper, then?"

"Mom's working on it. I offered to help, but she said that I had to come in here and make nice. I don't do nice." Karen arched an eyebrow as she flounced past Penelope and took a seat in the chair, looking imperious. Tabitha giggled as she shook her head, taking hold of Penelope's hand and dragging her over to the sofa. "So, Mom said that you work with her at the FBI?"

"That's right, I'm a technical analyst with the BAU. Mother is my boss."

"And she lets you come to work dressed like that?" Karen sniffed.

"If I am going to be stuck in an office, staring at the worst of what people can do to each other, day in and day out, I am most certainly going to look cute doing it. She's never said anything about the way I look." Karen raised an eyebrow, and in doing so looked exactly like her mother. Penelope stifled a giggle before she shrugged at Tabitha. "Besides, this is tame compared to what I normally wear."

Karen just let out a long sigh before burying her nose in her phone. Tabitha seemed a little more keen to talk to her, though just as she was about to ask something, Bruce came into the room. "Hey, Mom's been calling you lot for a few minutes now. If you want to eat, you better get moving. Plus, Dad is on the warpath tonight, so let's try to keep things even for just one night."

Penelope bit her lip as Tabitha and Karen got to their feet heading towards the door. "Maybe it would be best if I just grabbed something from the kitchen, so as not to make things worse," she began as Bruce shook his head and held out his hand. "You just want to get a rise out of your father," she said as she took hold of it. He gave her a puckish grin as he led her into the dining room, and she suddenly started to see why Karen might not be so receptive towards her. She was a lot like Bruce, and if Hotch was right and Bruce was Erin's favorite, then it made sense why she was so quickly in Erin's good graces.

"Someone needs to remind him that the world does not revolve around him," Bruce murmured in her ear as they entered the dining room. There was already a fair amount of tension in the room when they entered, and Penelope could feel it ratchet up a few more notches as Bruce led her to an open spot on Erin's right hand side. Taking a seat, she threw a small look to Erin, trying to get her cue on how to handle things as they moved forward. Erin grimaced a little, which meant that things were most definitely not going to be pleasant.

"So, this is the foundling?"

Penelope's head whipped around to look at Erin's ex-husband. He looked like a reptile, his face was so blank and cold, and she shivered a little as she shook out her napkin, placing it on her lap. "The foundling has a name, Penelope. Not the one that I had chosen, but fitting nonetheless."

"I suppose." He sniffed at her before turning his attention to the food being passed around the table. "I do not miss this at all," he muttered, and Penelope saw Erin wince a little. Beneath the table, Penelope reached out and let her hand cover Erin's knee, offering her support before turning her focus onto eating and trying to stay out of the line of fire. Bruce seemed to have the same idea, since he kept up a low conversation with her the entire meal.

"I'm going to start cleaning up now, Mom," Bruce said as he pushed away from the table and picked up his plate. "Penny?"

"I'm right behind you!" she called out, darting her eyes between Erin and her ex-husband. She knew that the tension between them was not good for the baby, and she knew for certain that she was going to keep out of the way until after Alan had left.

Once in the kitchen, Penelope and Bruce began to scrape the plates off into the trash while the girls flitted back and forth to bring in the rest of the dishes. "There are a few leftovers, here, Bruce. Make yourself useful and wrap them up, while Tabby and I bring in the rest of the dishes."

Karen shot a disparaging look at them before she sashayed from the room, and Penelope shook her head a little before giving her brother a small smirk. "Well, I guess I know who got the bossy genes in the family."

Tabitha and Bruce laughed lowly. "You noticed that already? I always assumed that it was because she was the oldest in the family, but now that we have you, I guess that it really is just genetics. But you can't tell her I told you that! We're not supposed to like you yet."

Penelope nodded and winked at Tabitha as she continued to fill the dishwasher. Once the last few dishes were in the kitchen, Karen and Tabitha leaned against the counter, watching Bruce and her work as they whispered back and forth. "So, Bruce, what are you planning on doing after high school?" she asked, needing to do some talking herself, to try and find some place for herself in the family.

"College, of course. Dad wants me to be a lawyer like him, but I think that I'm going to go into psychology, like Mom. I really like talking to people, and helping them with their problems. I don't know how I'm going to tell Dad yet, but he's just going to have to deal with it."

Penelope nodded, and went to answer when she heard the sound of raised voices coming from the direction of the dining room. Wincing a little, she covered her stomach with her hands, looking to Bruce to see if he was as concerned as she was.

"This is the reason they divorced, Dad wouldn't listen to Mom, ever, and they would just go at it." She darted her eyes over to look at Karen, seeing the sad look on her face. "I don't know what his problem is now, but it should blow over shortly, he doesn't have a long fuse."

"I see," she whispered, drifting over towards the doorway. This allowed her to listen more closely to the argument that was occurring in the dining room, and Bruce came up to her side a few moments later, resting his hand on her shoulder. "I feel like we should do something," she whispered.

"Don't. I learned the hard way to never interrupt an argument."

That didn't sound good, and Penelope reached up to cover Bruce's hand with her own, needing to comfort him in that moment. She hadn't realized quite how fractured Erin's family was until that moment, and she didn't know how she would react to Alan the next time she saw him, since she always hated a bully, and from the sound of things, he was doing the majority of the yelling. Unconsciously, she tightened her hand around Bruce's, squeezing almost painfully as she listened to the argument rage on.


	29. Chapter 29

The house had gone strangely quiet, and Penelope turned to look at her siblings, seeing that they had all gathered behind her as the argument had raged on. It was sweet, in a way, that they had all expected her to protect them, but she hated that it had been a vicious screaming match that had started the bonding between them all.

Penelope held her breath as the silence lingered on, and she turned her focus onto the rest of the house rather than her siblings, trying to figure out what was going on. Heavy footsteps resounded in the hallway, and she instinctively reached back to protect them, hoping beyond hope that he would avoid the kitchen. Moments later, she released that breath when the door slammed, and she turned to face her siblings, a tremulous smile on her lips.

"Well, that's over and done with," she said lowly, vaguely hearing a car peel out of the driveway. "What happens now?"

"Usually, we give Mom a few minutes to compose herself. She doesn't like it when we see her cry, and she always cries after an argument," Tabitha answered, returning her shaky smile. "I suppose that we could sit at the kitchen table and talk for a moment?"

"Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"You. How pregnant are you?" Trust Karen to ask the most pointed question there, and as they took a seat, Penelope caressed her small bump before answering.

"Not very far along, actually. Still in the first trimester, I think, but we'll confirm that at my first appointment. Kevin, my fiancé, he was supposed to take me to the first one, and we would have seen the first sonogram together." She pursed her lips, trying to keep from crying. Tabitha patted her arm softly, and she gave her half-sister a grateful look as she took a deep breath. "He was in a really bad car accident a few days ago, and didn't make it. So, I'm going to be a single mother, and it really sucks."

"Hey, you have Mom now, so you won't be truly alone! And we can pitch in with the nugget."

"Bruce Strauss, you are not allowed to call my baby a nugget!" she burst out, and he shrugged a little. "No, that will not be their nickname!"

"It's already decided. You have a nugget in you," Tabitha piped up, and even Karen smiled and nodded as she groaned and covered her face with her hands. "But it will be a cute nugget, since we're all cute, and you're one of us."

"If you say so," she replied as she stood up from the table. "I'm going to pour two glasses of water, and then go check on Mother."

"Okay," Karen said as she tracked her with her eyes. Penelope gave her a small smile before opening the freezer and pulling out the ice cube tray. Dumping a few into two glasses, she handed it to Tabitha to replace, and then filled the glasses with water.

Knowing that Erin was probably still in the dining room, she made her way there, glancing over her shoulder to see that the others had followed her. Shaking her head a little, she peeked her head in the doorway of the dining room, finding it empty. Turning, she looked at Bruce, and he shrugged a little. "Maybe she went to the living room? She might have known that we would come looking for her."

"All right, let's try there," she said as she started for the other room. The door to the living room was closed, which told Penelope that Erin wanted to be alone, and she bit her lip a little as she considered what she was going to do next. "Give me a second, okay?"

They all nodded and she arranged the glasses so that they were in one hand before opening the living room door. Peeking her head inside, she saw that Erin was seated on the sofa, cradling her cheek as she shoulders shook. In that moment, she knew that her siblings shouldn't see Erin like that, so she turned to them and shook her head a little. "Is she okay?"

"She will be. But I think it would be better if we talked alone for a few minutes, okay?"

Karen stared at her as the others nodded a little. "What has he done now?"

"I don't know, but I don't think that she'll be comfortable discussing it with you all. I hate to pull age rank, but please, let us adults talk for a little bit." Before they could answer her, she turned back to the living room and slipped inside, shutting the door behind her softly. As she walked over to the sofa, she transferred one of the glasses back to her other hand and then took a seat next to Erin, holding out a glass to her.

Erin looked up at her, tears still pouring down her face as she took the water, sipping from it slowly before setting it on the table. As she did so, Penelope was able to see a livid red mark on her cheek, and she gasped a little as she reached out to touch her shoulder. Erin jumped at the touch, and she felt her heart sink a little, realizing in that moment that this wasn't the first time Alan had struck her. "Everything will be better in the morning, Penny. This just needs a little time to heal."

"But…"

"No buts. I know what he's like when he's upset, and supper didn't help his mood at all. Once we were alone, I couldn't help needling him about you. I knew what would happen, but he was just making me so angry that I couldn't stop the words falling from my mouth." Erin broke off and closed her eyes, the tears still falling. Penelope couldn't help but cluck her tongue in sympathy as she leaned forward and kissed the angry mark.

It was hot beneath her lips, and somehow she knew it would form a hideous bruise by morning. "Oh, Mother," she murmured, and Erin's eyes hurriedly opened to look at Penelope. "Or do you like _M_ _é_ _re_ , better?"

"Whichever you prefer, Penny. It just sounds a little odd to be called Mother by you. I expect Erin, and perhaps we should just go with that at work for a little bit? That would allow most of your team to become accustomed to our relationship, without forcing it on them every time they hear you call me Mother."

"I don't care if they are uncomfortable, honestly. But if you would rather I refrain from it, I will be more than happy to follow your lead. As long as you let me completely and utterly destroy his online presence. You know who I am, and what I'm capable of. And a jackass like that deserves to be brought down a peg or two! He hurt you!"

Penelope knew that her grief was most likely clouding her judgment, but she didn't care in that moment. All she wanted to do was lash out at the person who had hurt her mother, to cause some iota of pain on him that had been dealt to her in the last few days. Erin's face softened a little as she shook her head, reaching out to place her hands on Penelope's shoulders. "Under no circumstances are you to do anything that would get you into trouble with my superiors. I just found you, I'm not about to let you be hauled off to some secret base or go to jail. Okay?"

"I suppose, for you, I can stay on the straight and narrow. But it would be really nice to drag him to hell and back?"

"I know that it would, but we're better than that, right? No daughter of mine is going to be an online troll?" Erin ran her thumb back and forth along Penelope's shoulder as she looked into her eyes, and Penelope felt her resolve to avenge Erin's honor slowly bleed out of her as she nodded. "Now, where are my other children?"

"I had them wait outside, since I thought that you would need a moment to regain your composure. I remember, from Milwaukee, that you don't particularly relish having others see you cry."

Erin nodded a little. "You have a good memory." Then, to her surprise, Erin pulled her into a tight hug. "I truly hate him now. I don't know what I saw in him, especially when I compare him to David. And if you tell anyone that, I'll never forget."

"I won't breathe a word to anyone, especially not our resident Italian Stallion. Though I have the feeling that if I did tell him what happened tonight, he'd allow me to destroy Alan."

"I know he would, too. He's very defensive of me." Erin pulled away to look at her. "It's part of why I love him so. He's picked up all these shattered pieces of my heart and turned them into a beautiful mosaic."

"You are thoroughly amazing, _M_ _é_ _re_. I am going to love getting to know you better." Erin just smiled and nodded, her hands once more tightening on Penelope's shoulders, her tears seeming to have finally stopped.


	30. Chapter 30

There was a loud banging on the door a few minutes later, startling them both into a fit of nervous laughter. In tandem, they turned their heads towards the door, and they watched as Karen and Tabitha came stumbling in, their arms filled with blankets and pillows. "Bruce is making us popcorn and will be in in a few minutes," Karen said as she made her way to the couch, dropping her armload of blankets onto the floor in front of them.

"And we're going to go back for a few more pillows, since Karen thinks that there are enough blankets for all of us." Tabitha rolled her eyes a little, causing Penelope to giggle, and they scurried from the room once more.

"I take it that we're having a family sleepover in the living room?" Penelope asked once the door had closed once more.

"That's what it looks like," Erin murmured as she got up off the sofa. "You'll have to stand up, too, Penny. Push the coffee table towards the fireplace, would you?" She nodded and got up, doing as she was told, watching as Erin tossed the cushions to the couch onto the floor before pulling and tugging on the bed that was cleverly hidden there. "All right, it won't be the most comfortable place to sleep, but it will do for the evening."

"I'd be fine with the floor," she responded as she claimed a blanket and some of the pillows, claiming her spot on the outer edge of the sofa bed. Erin shook her head a little as she crawled in and made herself comfortable next to Penelope.

"There is no way that I would allow a pregnant woman to sleep on the floor, Penelope." Erin arched an eyebrow at her as she contorted her arms. "But I think, before we get really comfortable here, I'm going to change into pyjamas. Do you want to do the same?"

"Ooh, that does sound like a good idea. I really don't think I want to sleep in my bra tonight." Erin helped her to her feet, and they went upstairs arm in arm. It didn't take long for Penelope to change, and she was glad that she had put some old yoga pants and oversized shirts in her bag, since she didn't think that her normal bed attire would be apropos in this situation.

Padding back downstairs, she heard the low murmur of voices in the living room, and peeked her head inside to see Bruce and Erin conversing. He had taken camp in the recliner and had a knitted blanket stretched over him. She must have made a small noise, since Bruce looked up at her, a wide grin on his face. "You've decided to join us! I put a bowl of popcorn in your spot. I hope you like it really buttery and salty, that's how we eat it in this family."

"Then I suppose it's good that that is exactly how I eat it," she said with a smile as she made her way over to the sofa, curling up in the corner once more as she listened to Bruce and Erin talk about his classes. She was pleasantly surprised to find out that despite his assertions that he was going to be like his mother when he got older, a deep romantic streak ran through his blood, as he went on and on about how much he loved his current poetry module in English.

"Oh, are we going on about Philip Larkin again, Brucie?" Karen teased as she and Tabitha entered the room, dressed much the same as Penelope, and carrying a last load of pillows. Bruce rolled his eyes at her, only to let out a winded oof when Karen nailed him with a pillow.

"Thanks for the most comfortable pillow, Kare Bear," he shot back, fluffing it a little before sticking it behind his head. "Make certain Penelope gets enough, too."

"Of course!" Karen gave her a thoroughly patient look, and she couldn't help but giggle a little as she grabbed two more pillows from Tabitha, setting them next to her on the floor. The girls clambered onto the sofa bed, wrapping blankets around their shoulders before setting their own bowls of popcorn in their laps. "Now, we are going to grill you, Penelope, about every aspect of your life until one of us falls asleep. And once that person falls asleep, the sharpies come out!"

"Karen, it is a school night, and there is no way that I will allow you to mark up one of your siblings. The most I will allow, since tonight is special, is no curfew." Erin looked at Penelope and raised an eyebrow as she let out a slow breath. "Do you see now, who you're related to?"

"The perfect little family! I've wanted to have a big family for so long, and this is so perfect! Not only are my stepbrothers getting in contact with me again, but I have three new siblings to learn all about as well." She grinned before shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth, wanting a little bit of a buffer before she had another question to answer.

"How may stepbrothers do you have, Penelope?" Tabitha asked, a curious smile on her lips.

"Four, and at least two of them are married. I'm still waiting to hear back from two of them, but seeing as how we didn't part ways on the best of terms, getting two of them back is better than I ever expected," she answered before taking a sip of water from the glass on the table next to her. "So, are any of you dating anyone?"

"What makes you think you get to ask questions?" Karen asked, as if she was trying to suss out how Penelope would react to sass. She fixed her face into as perfect a recreation of Erin's as she could, and watched Tabitha and Bruce smother giggles with their hands as Karen tried not to back down from the position she had taken.

"Well, if you want to know more about me, I want to know more about you. I mean, I could just use my hacker skills and know every little thing, but…I think you'd rather I found out the normal way."

Karen gulped and nodded, and their conversation began to flow quite naturally from there. At some point, Bruce drifted off to sleep, which allowed them to talk about slightly more intimate things, and Penelope smiled as she felt Erin begin to drag her fingers through her hair, and she rested her head on Erin's chest, making herself comfortable there as they continued to talk. Tabitha and Karen seemed to nod off at the same time, which left her and Erin the last ones left.

"I didn't know how much I would need a night like this with them," she murmured as she pulled her blanket up around her chest. "What if I don't ever want to go back to work? What if I just want to hide out from the world for the rest of my life?"

"I won't let you do that, Penny. Grief is a black veil over you right now, and the sun might be hiding it's face from you, but there is going to come a time when you want to return to living. I won't let you hide away until you can't find a way to do that any longer. Okay?"

Penelope gave her a small nod before she felt the first sob bubble up in her stomach. Erin began to hum lowly as she continued to stroke her hair. "I just want everything to be like it was, you know? When we were happy. And life was uncomplicated."

"Then you wouldn't know that we were related, and that your siblings are just like their mother in so many little ways." She nodded as she rubbed her cheek against Erin's chest. "There isn't some grand reason that this happened, some cosmic plan that said Kevin had to die so that we could bond. Life is terrible, and cruel, but there are spots of happiness and love that temper that cruelty."

She nodded again as she clapped her hand over her mouth, trying to keep the sobs from being too loud. Erin seemed to know that the time for words was over, as she began to hum once more, rocking them back and forth as she continued to cry. There was something so warm about being in her embrace, and she felt like she was once more seven, crying disconsolately in her mother's arms. Eventually, her cries completely tired her out, and she felt her grip on Erin's shirt lessen as the heavy weight of sleep began to descend upon her shoulders. Just before she completely feel asleep, she felt Erin shift them a little, bringing her own blanket up to cover them both as she pressed her lips against Penelope's forehead, sighing deeply.


	31. Chapter 31

Penelope woke up with a start, pressing her hand to her rapidly beating heart as she looked around the room for a clock. The first thing she noticed, however, was that she was alone in a strange room, where there were no clocks. And then, everything came rushing back to her mind and she shook her head a little to clear the lingering cobwebs from her mind as she fumbled around for her phone. It wasn't on the side table, and she frowned, since it was always on person.

Fumbling her way out of the sofa bed, she scurried over to the living room door, almost tripping over a stray pillow in her haste to get upstairs and change. From the light that had been streaming in the window, she knew that she was officially late to work, and had to hurry and shower and get dressed. Wrenching open the door, she nearly ran headlong into Erin, and gasped a little as she reached out to steady her mother before taking one of the glasses of orange juice from her hands.

"Is everything okay, Penny?" she asked as she rested her free hand on her shoulder. She shook her head before sipping at the juice and trying to push past Erin to head up to the guest room. "Where do you think you're going?"

"To get ready for work, of course! We're late!"

Erin tilted her head to one side before she slowly shook her head. "We're off for the full week, darling, remember? I cleared it with Director Shepherd, so that you would have time to grieve and we could get acquainted with each other." Penelope brushed her hand off her shoulder and made for the stairway once more. "Penny…"

"I still have to get dressed, I don't like spending the day in my pyjamas?"

They stared at each other for a moment, before Erin finally, reluctantly, nodded. "I expect to see you back in the living room in twenty minutes, okay? I'll get it cleaned up while I wait, and we can decide what we're going to do today."

Penelope knew that there would be no shaking Erin off, another trait she recognized in herself, and she nodded. "All right. I guess I just got lost in the fog of sleep and sorrow."

"I understand, Penny," she replied, giving her a sad smile. They nodded to each other before moving on to what they intended to do, and as Penelope went upstairs, she sipped at her juice, finding it more sour than expected, and wondering if it was fresh squeezed.

She was finished with it by the time she reached the guest room, and she set the glass on her nightstand before looking for her luggage. Penelope frowned when she couldn't find it, and sighed, annoyed beyond measure that everything was missing. Stamping her foot a little, she crossed over to the closet and flung to doors open, only to find that every article of clothing neatly arranged, almost in as perfect an order as she had it back at her apartment.

Sighing a little, she picked out a comfy skirt and sweater before pulling at the drawers in the dresser and finding her underwear. The worn clothes from the previous day were in a hamper next to the dresser, and everything felt so cozily domestic that she wondered if she had been living there for years, or if it was just Erin's way of keeping control over everything. "I love you," she whispered to the air as she made her way to the guest bathroom, finding all her makeup artfully arranged. A grateful smile curved her lips as she stripped off her pyjamas and stepped into the shower.

Her shower didn't take long, and she didn't bother to dry or style her hair after drying off and getting into her clothes, knowing that Erin expected her soon. She did take a look at herself in the mirror, however, before she left the room, another smile, softer this time, crossing her lips as she caressed her baby bump. "We may have just found someone to love us no matter what, poppet. She's going to be a good grandmother to you, I can feel it in my heart. At least one good thing has come out of this horrible situation."

Letting out a deep sigh, Penelope left the room and made her way back down to the living room. She was not surprised to see that Erin had managed to get all the blankets and pillows put away in the short time she was gone, though she was still struggling with putting the sofa to rights. Penelope hurried over to her side, and in no time at all, they had everything back the way it should be, and were curling up on opposite ends of the couch.

"You didn't have to hang everything up for me," she started, biting her lip a little.

"This is your home, too, or at least I want it to be, and I've always taken care of my children." Erin gave her a soft smile before wincing a little, reaching up to brush at her cheek. That move caught Penelope's attention, and she gasped a little to see that the red mark from the night before had bloomed into a dark purple bruise that covered most of Erin's right cheekbone. "It looks worse than it feels," she stammered out, covering up the bruise with her hand.

"I doubt that. Has he always hit you?"

Another wince before Erin looked away from her, bring one knee up to her chest. "No, but I was always good at pushing his buttons. We have strong personalities, and sometimes that led to horrendous screaming matches. Never in front of the children, of course, but towards the end, they seemed to pick up on the underlying tension between us."

She nodded. "And does Rossi know about it all?"

Erin looked up at her then, a fine sheen of tears coating her eyes. "I've told him a little, but he doesn't need to see this. Right?"

"Since I would imagine that he would storm over to your ex-husband's house and beat him into a pulp for daring to lay a hand on you, I would say that no, he doesn't need to see your bruise. But I really wish that we could have him over for supper tonight. It might cheer you up a little."

"Am I really that transparent?"

"Right now? Yes. I don't think that you normally allow people to see you this clearly, though. I think that I'm only seeing this because of our connection." Erin cocked up one eyebrow as she smirked, and Penelope smiled in return.

She sat back a little further into the sofa and rested her hands on her stomach as she let out a long breath. "I think that you might have picked up more of me than I would have thought possible," Erin murmured before she looked out the window. "Is there anything that you'd like to do today? I'm not accustomed to taking time off like this, and I find myself at sixes and sevens."

Penelope shrugged a little. "I guess I'm a little more solitary than anything, Erin. Usually I'm gaming online when I'm not at work. But I wouldn't say no to heading to a movie or a museum?"

Erin nodded. "How about we head out to a late breakfast before heading into the city and taking a turn around the Smithsonian? We won't see everything, of course, but it would be a nice way to spend a day."

She smiled at Erin. "That sounds wonderful, but I'll have to put on makeup."

"You look fine, and I'm not going to put any makeup on, either." Erin got to her feet and walked to her side, holding out her hand expectantly. Penelope took it and allowed Erin to help her to her feet, tucking her hand into the crook of her elbow as they made their way out to the car. "Tomorrow, we're going to have to make some difficult calls. You need to let your brothers know what happened with Kevin, and you need to talk to his parents, because you haven't heard from them yet. I would have expected them to at least call you to tell you more information about what's going on."

"His parents have never been the happiest with our relationship, honestly," she replied as she slipped into the passenger seat of the car. Penelope paused as she waited for Erin to get behind the wheel, and as the garage door opened, she spoke once more. "I think that they wanted someone a little more traditional for Kevin, someone who wasn't so loud, who didn't quite think for themselves. There were times that I knew that upbringing hadn't left him. He mentioned to me, once, that he wanted to buy a farm for us, far off the grid, to raise our family. I laughed it off, telling him that I could never leave my work, and that I needed some way to stay in touch with my loved ones."

"I'm sorry, I can't picture you living on a farm. You were meant for a more suburban life. Though I could picture you with a garden in your backyard. Full of flowers and vegetables and maybe a beehive. Because you're a bit of genteel crunchy person."

Penelope laughed as she nodded, amused that Erin had been able to read her so accurately. "I would love a home where I could have that, yes. Right down to the beehives. But now, being a single mom, I don't know if I'll ever be able to afford much more than a two-bedroom apartment. Unless you know of a sugar daddy who would take me on with all my baggage and grief?"

Erin glanced at her before pulling out onto the street. "There is no way I would ever let things come to that. And you'll always have a home with us, you can use my backyard for your beehives, I have flowers enough to feed them." Penelope smiled at that thought, a small feeling of contentment beginning to creep into the dark corners of her heart.


	32. Chapter 32

The next morning, Penelope woke up feeling a little better than the day before, and she stretched in bed a little before swinging her feet out and standing up. Checking her phone, she saw there were no new messages from anyone important, and she sighed, wondering if she had suddenly contracted leprosy when she wasn't looking, as she had hoped to hear from Derek, or Jayje, or somebody. Frowning a little, she padded to the dresser and shoved a headband in her hair before making her way downstairs, following the delicious smell of breakfast.

As she approached the kitchen, she could hear voices talking, and she smiled as she recognized Bruce and Tabitha after some diligent listening. "We're late."

Jumping a little, she turned to look at Karen, taking in the private school uniform she was wearing. "We are?"

"Yeah, usually Mom has breakfast on the table by seven, so that we can get to school on time, and if we're not in the kitchen, she doesn't wait. So, if you want warm food, we need to get in there." She nodded in response, entering with her, and taking a seat between Bruce and Tabitha. Erin was dressed much the same as yesterday, though it still seemed wrong to see her boss in jeans.

"Both your plates are warming in the oven," her mother said, not looking up from the local paper. Her voice sounded peevish, and Penelope wondered what had set her off that morning, since they had both went to bed reasonably happy the previous evening.

"Did Dad say something to you this morning?" Karen asked as she went over to the oven and pulled out their plates, setting Penelope's down before taking the open seat next to Erin. She shook her head, and Penelope frowned as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.

"Nothing like that," Erin responded absently as she turned the page in the paper. "Mrs Howard will be here in fifteen minutes to pick you up for school, so you're going to have to hurry, Karen. I hope that your bag is ready to go."

"Yes, Mom, I made sure to do that last night, after I finished my homework." Erin made a noncommittal noise in the back of her throat as she continued to read the news. "If you're bored, Penelope, there are a few good movies on our DVR. Mom's kind of hopeless with it, but you seem smart enough to not fuck things up."

"Karen! Language!"

"Sorry, Mom. Screw things up. Is that better?"

The paper rattled, and Penelope wondered if it was from irritation or repressed laughter, since she was fighting to keep from giggling herself. "A little, yes. Just remember, the words we choose to use reflect ourselves most clearly. The best words to use are always the ones that succinctly describe our situation without talking down to our audience or are too simplistic. A better way to describe the situation would be that I do not care to learn how to use the DVR, because I can pull out a DVD to watch at any time, seeing as how the only thing I currently watch on television is the morning news."

Karen blushed a little as she continued to eat, and Penelope gave her a small smile as she picked at her food, watching Erin finish the paper and tucking it beneath her plate. "Do you think that I could read that next?" she asked, feeling strangely off kilter, which was made all the worse by Erin shaking her head. "Okay…"

"There's nothing good in it today, Penny."

"Ah." She knew that she was being given the brush off, and went back to picking at her food, feeling her slightly good mood deflate as a weird silence fell over the room. Her siblings finished up their food before putting their plates in the sink and then kissing Erin's cheek. "Have a good day at school!" she called out as she watched them go. A part of her had been hoping that Erin would go with them so that she could quickly look through the paper to see what Erin was hiding from her. Still, her mother kept her seat, nursing her mug of coffee as she stared at the table. "Erin!"

Her head shot up, and Penelope noticed that her eyes were guilty. "You really don't want to read the paper, Penny. There's nothing good in it today."

"And I think that you know that I will just keep picking at you until you relent or until I go online to read it. I take it that it has something to do with Kevin, though?" Erin nodded, and Penelope let out a deep breath. "May I please just see it? It's better to rip the bandage off, right?"

Erin looked at her over her reading glasses and shook her head. "Not in this case, I feel. But fine, read it once we get to the living room."

Penelope nodded and finished eating, the food having no real taste any longer. Once her plate was clean, she stood and took care of her dishes before looking expectantly at Erin. Her mother nodded and rose to her feet, tucking the paper beneath her arm as they went out to the living room. Erin gestured for her to take a seat on the sofa, and once she had, she handed over the paper. "Is there a place where I should start?"

"Page six," she replied shortly, and Penelope nodded as she took a seat next to her. To her shock, Erin reached out and covered her knee with her hand, offering her support for what was to come. Frowning a little, she opened the paper, turning to the page mentioned, and found herself confronted with the obituaries. "Third column."

Her brow furrowed as she followed directions, scanning down the column to find Kevin's name there. She breathed in and out slowly through her nose a few times, steeling herself for what was written there. Her first impression was that it was much too short, there was more to Kevin's life then the four inches of type in that paper. Glancing over at Erin, she noticed the tightness of her lips, the slight shudder in her shoulders, and knew that her mother was both sad and angry. "Mother?"

"Read, and we'll discuss in a moment."

"Okay." She scooted a little closer to Erin, somehow knowing she needed to feel the warmth from her body bleeding into Penelope's, to replace the heat that was so rapidly escaping from her. Penelope's eyes quickly scanned the words there, feeling more and more confused as she read it again and again. "What, what's going on? There's no mention of me, of our time together, of the baby? And when's the funeral? I, I don't understand…"

"I have the feeling that his parents have deliberately left you out of the loop here. Their disapproval of you has extended to his death, even though you were his lover." Erin's words were so cold, but for some reason, she knew that Erin wasn't upset with her, but for her. Letting the paper fall from her suddenly boneless hands, she turned her face to Erin, seeing that tears had started to fall down her face, and this seemed to be what she needed to open the floodgates for her. Sobbing, she blindly fell against Erin, feeling her close her arms around her as she cried. "Shh, darling, shh," she murmured.

"They don't want me," she said before starting to gag. Erin helped her to her feet, and then she took off for the bathroom. She could hear movement in the house as she threw up, and wondered what Erin was doing. After a few minutes, she felt like she was finally finished throwing up, and she got to her feet, listening for Erin. Her low voice was coming from the kitchen, so Penelope drifted in there, and took a seat next to her at the table, noticing that Erin was talking to someone on her phone.

"I think that would be for the best, Derek. She needs to have a supportive shoulder beside mine to cry on right now. See you in thirty."

"He has to work today."

"I'll excuse his taking a personal day. Because David is coming over as well. I need him, too, darling." She looked into her mother's face and realized just how deeply the casual cruelty Kevin's parents had just foisted upon her had hurt the older woman. "You're my child, Penelope. What breaks your heart, breaks mine as well." Erin reached up and caressed her cheek, running her thumb back and forth as she stared deeply into Penelope's eyes. "And I'm just so grateful that I'm able to help guide you through this time in your life. The storm is much easier to navigate with someone at the helm beside you."

Penelope nodded and then pillowed her head on her arms as she quietly cried, listening to Erin get up and putter around the kitchen. "Derek likes really strong coffee, if that's what you're making."

"Good to know. Do you want tea?"

"Yeah, peppermint if you have any. That will help settle my stomach. I hope." She glanced up to see Erin smiling sadly at her, looking for all the world like she wanted to go kick someone's ass for hurting her.


	33. Chapter 33

The doorbell rang about twenty minutes later, and Penelope lifted her head off the table to look at Erin. "Do you want to go get that, darling?" her mother asked, and she let out a heavy breath as she reluctantly nodded, getting up from her seat and trudging over to the door. Glancing out the window, she saw Dave standing on the stoop, a bouquet of flowers in his hand, and she felt a half-hearted smile tug at the corner of her lips as she opened the door.

"Hey, Kitten," he whispered before chucking her chin lightly with his free hand. She could have almost sworn that there were tears in his eyes, but she couldn't be certain, since he was quickly wrapping her up in a tight bear hug. She felt his lips kiss her cheek softly, which caused her to burst into a fresh bout of tears. "Oh, Penelope, you're going to break my heart."

"I've been doing a good job of that with Mother, too," she whispered as he let go of her. "We're in the kitchen right now. She's making coffee and tea for us all." Dave nodded before handing over the flowers. "These are beautiful. Thank you."

"I figured you needed something lovely to make your heart happy today." He gave her another smile before jerking his head towards the kitchen door. "I have to go see my love."

"I know. She's been waiting for you." He nodded before heading in that direction. She brought the flowers to her nose, breathing in the heady scent of them. There was something comforting about the scent, and she sighed a little as she swiped away some stray tears from her eyes. Stepping out onto the porch, she was able to see that there was a swing in the corner, and she took a seat, using her toe to push herself back and forth as she buried her face in the flowers.

"Did Rossi bring those by, Baby Girl?"

She looked up to see Derek standing in front of her, a kind smile on his face. Nodding a little, she patted the spot next to her, and he sank down, automatically reaching out for her hand. Penelope threaded their fingers together, welcoming the warmth of his embrace. "He did. Thank you for coming over, Der."

"Do you really think there is any other place I would be right now? You need me, and our boss seems to be pretty accommodating right now."

"That's because my mother wants me to be surrounded by those I love." Penelope felt his hand tighten around her, and she frowned as she wriggled her fingers, letting him know that he was holding on a little too tightly. He seemed to understand, since he readjusted his hold, tapping the back of her hand with his thumb as they sat there. "Who told you?" she finally asked.

"Rossi. When he was pressed for details on why you took off so quickly the other day, he just spilled everything, since I think he was in a bit of shock. JJ is still having trouble wrapping her brain around it, actually, and her reaction at the round table was quite interesting. But, she'll probably have a lot of questions for you both today."

"I'm sorry?"

"Yeah, once Emily found out that Dave and I were heading here, and she twisted Hotch's arm until he agreed that we should all traipse over here, in order to support you. I hope that Rossi can explain to Erin that we're descending upon her en masse."

Penelope giggled a little before glancing down to see that she was in no way dressed to receive visitors. "Oh, god, Derek, can you let everyone else in, so that I can get dressed? It's one thing for your family to see you at your worst, a completely different thing for your boss and colleagues!"

"If I tell you that you look fine, would you believe me?" She shook her head. "Fine, I will make certain that everyone heads inside if they get here before you're dressed." He leaned over and kissed her cheek softly and she sighed in contentment as she stood up and smiled down at him.

"Have everyone go to the kitchen first, since I know Erin is making coffee." She didn't wait for his reply before turning on her heel and scurrying into the house. She could hear Dave and Erin talking in the kitchen, and she was happy to note that their voices were measured and calm, in no way angry, like she had thought Erin might be when being surprised by four extra people.

Making her way up to her room, Penelope quickly stripped off her pyjamas and then dressed in her favorite pink skirt and a soft sweater. She knew that she didn't really have time to apply a full face of makeup, but she still made her way into the bathroom and threw on a layer of lipstick and penciled in her eyebrows before heading back downstairs.

The sound of voices led her to the living room, and she peeked her head in to see that JJ, Emily, and Reid had camped out on the sofa, while Hotch and Derek were in the chairs that flanked the couch. A tiny smile graced her lips when she saw that Dave was standing next to Erin, his arm lightly wrapped around her waist as he held her close. And for a moment, a dizzyingly awful thought hit her, that she had no place here, there was no room for her in the circle.

Though she hadn't made any noise so far, Erin must have caught sight of her, since her mother looked over and gave her a warm smile, looking down at the spot next to her in clear invitation. She gave a small nod in return, hesitantly stepping into the room as she tried to focus in on the conversation that was happening around her.

"…together for four years. I just don't understand how you can ignore such a large aspect of your son's life just because…" JJ's voice faded in and out of her consciousness as she finally reached Erin's side, welcoming the solid feel of her hand clasping hers as she faced her friends. Emily was giving her a sad smile, and Penelope couldn't quite ignore the quick, tight, looks that JJ and Reid threw their way before affixing a more neutral expression on their faces. "Penny!"

"Hey, Jayje, everybody, thanks for coming today. We weren't really expecting visitors, but I'm glad you're here. I, I really need all the support you're offering." Her voice sounded so sterile to her ears, and she pursed her lips together as she drifted a little closer to Erin and Dave, instinctively feeling safer in their presence. "I'm still trying to wrap my brain around how quickly my life has changed, since I found out about the sprog."

She saw Hotch nod from the corner of her eye, and she relaxed a tiny bit, though her fingers still tapped their way around Erin's hand. "While we didn't initially want to intrude on you here, Penelope, I'm glad that we can offer you support as you deal with the tumult in your life. I hope you know that if you need anything, from any of us, all you have to do is ask. Erin's managed to find us a temporary technical analyst, by pulling some strings with the international team, but I want you to know that whenever you are ready to come back to work, he'll go back to being specifically their analyst."

Penelope knew that in his own way, Hotch was telling her not to worry about losing her position with the BAU, and she nodded, feeling a bit overwhelmed at the gesture. "Thanks, Hotch. I hope to be back Monday, I can't take too much time to wallow in my sorrow. You have to keep moving forward, right?" From the look on his face, he understood exactly why she was so adamant. "Now, it's still a little early, but I hope you're all planning on staying for lunch. We could order Chinese and just be together." She looked around the room, meeting everyone's eyes until she got a nod of acknowledgment. "Perfect! And, as I'm certain you all already know, since someone has a big mouth, that I have some news for you."

JJ frowned a little, but before Penelope could say anything, Erin was giving her hand a short, sharp, squeeze. "I think that I would like to be the one to break this non-news, Penny. If you don't mind." She shook her head and Erin gave her a quick smile before also looking at everyone in the room. "As I'm certain you know, Penelope has been looking for her birth mother since she found out she was pregnant. The world can be a strange place, often in the worst way, but in this case, it seemed like the tapestry of Fate was woven so that we could find each other when Penelope would most need a mother figure in her life. The most you need to know is that I was in no position to raise a child when Penelope came into my life, and I gave her the best possible start in life."

The others nodded, and she glanced over at Dave to see him looking with such love at Erin. Waves of longing and heartbreak swept over her at that look, and she looked down at the floor as she tried to keep control of her emotions, not wanting to break down again so soon. Penelope knew that she could cry at any time, but she didn't want to bring down the mood of the room, so she tightened her hold on Erin's hand, hoping she understood everything that was in her heart.


	34. Chapter 34

Erin knocked softly on her bedroom door the next morning, and Penelope looked at her from the bed, feeling like she was in the middle of a bad dream. "We should probably get going if you want to find an appropriate place to stand, so that the family can't see you."

"I know. Do you think I look all right?" she murmured as she stood, smoothing out the fabric of her skirt as she crossed over to Erin's side. Her mother pulled her into a tight hug as she nodded against her shoulder. "I tried to make certain that I looked natural, that I wasn't too loud, so that maybe they wouldn't recognize me if they happened to look our way."

"You look fine, Penny," she said softly before pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Dave's waiting for us downstairs."

"He didn't have to come," she started to protest, hating the fact that she was inconveniencing so many people. "Really, I would have been fine with just you by my side."

"Nonsense. You need the support of as many people surrounding you on this terrible day. I wish I could have gotten you into the actual funeral, but I have the distinct feeling that the Lynch's would have found reason to kick us all out. Thankfully, the graveyard is public property, and they cannot say that we're crashing anything." Erin gave her a soft smile as she reached out and caressed Penelope's face. "Darling, this is going to be a hard day, but we'll get through it."

"I know," she replied softly as she slipped her hand into the crook of Erin's arm, allowing her to guide her downstairs and into the kitchen. Dave was reclining against a counter, scrolling through something on his phone, which he quickly put away when Erin cleared her throat. "I suppose that we're ready to go now. I, I didn't ever think that this day would happen so soon."

"Come here, Kitten," he said gruffly, and she nodded as she stepped away from Erin and into his warm embrace. The moment his arms enclosed her in a tight hug, she started to cry once more, feeling his lips caress the top of her head. "Don't fall apart just yet, we have to get through the graveside service, and then you can shatter with us."

"I know," she whispered in response before nuzzling her cheek against his chest. "Lead on, oh fearless leader?"

He chuckled a little as he pulled away from her a little. She watched as he looked over her head at Erin, and the tender smile that flitted across his lips as he hooked his arm through Penelope's and led her out into the garage, Erin at their heels. She chose to sit in the back, expecting Erin to sit next to her partner. Instead, she got in the back with her, and Penelope pursed her lips together a little as she scooted closer to her mother, welcoming the feel of her fingers scoring through her hair. It was a comforting move that her mom had done when she was little and heartsick, and she wondered if Erin had done the same with Karen and Tabitha.

Dave pulled into the graveyard, and Penelope sat up a little to see who, if anyone, was already there. A small cluster of cars near a fresh grave caught her attention, and she knew that this had to be where Kevin was being laid to rest. Biting her lip, she drew in as deep a breath as she could muster as Dave pulled around to the back of the cemetery, where there were no other vehicles, parking and turning the car off.

"All right, it looks like they're all gathered. Let me go scope out a good place for us to stand, where we're not noticed, and then I'll text Erin, okay, Kitten?"

"Yeah," she whispered as he opened the door and began to amble over in the direction of the graves. She glanced at Erin from the corner of her eye before shifting away from her and getting out as well. It was just too close in the car for her liking, and she hoped that Erin would understand. As she paced back and forth, Erin got out and came up to her side, resting her arm around her waist as she guided her over to a large, old, tombstone. "Mother?"

"We need to not look so suspicious," she murmured as she crouched down and started to pull away the weeds from around the stone. Penelope began to understand what she was driving at, and pulled out her phone, taking a few pictures, trying desperately to act like they were there to research genealogy. The sound of Erin's phone vibrating loudly in her pocket got their attention, and Penelope helped Erin to her feet. She pulled out her phone, and then gave Penelope a small smile as she tapped out a reply to Dave.

"Well?"

"We're heading over to that large tree where Dave is," Erin murmured as she gestured with her elbow. Penelope followed the line of sight, and gave Dave a small nod as she and Erin clasped hands and began to carefully make their way over to him. Once they were in place, Penelope was able to see that it was a good vantage point to watch the ceremony while looking like they were actually paying their respects to a large gravestone in front of them.

Penelope had to stifle her sobs as she heard Kevin's favorite song start to play, and Erin wrapped her arm around her waist, pressing her head down on her chest in an effort to muffle the sound. Dave wrapped his arm around them both, tugging them closer to him, and she welcomed the warmth his embrace added to their huddle. As the music came to an end, Penelope wiped her eyes free of tears, looking around the gravestone to see those gathered placing flowers on his casket.

Once everyone was gone, but for cemetery workers, Erin pulled away from them, giving a tiny, pained, smile to them. "I did make an arrangement with them. Let's go." Penelope drew in a deep breath as she cocked her head to one side, watching as Erin walked closer and closer to Kevin's grave.

"Well, let's follow her, Kitten."

She nodded and allowed him to lead her after Erin. The closer they got, the more nervous she became, feeling like someone was going to jump out and yell at her at any moment. But when they reached the open grave, and no one had barred them, she began to feel a little better. Erin was speaking with the worker, and she sighed a little as she approached the very edge of the hole, staring down at Kevin's casket. A small case of vertigo took her by surprise, and Penelope was grateful that Dave was still by her side, as he caught her before she collapsed.

"Careful there, Kitten, I have the feeling that would be a hard thing to explain in the papers."

An inappropriate giggle fled her lips and she turned her face into Dave's chest to quell the sound. "Thank you," she murmured as she looked over at Erin, seeing her approach them with three long stemmed pink roses.

"I managed to wrangle these from the nice gentleman over there. It seems that Mrs Lynch overestimated who was going to be here, so we can still participate in the ritual." Penelope pursed her lips together as she nodded, accepting the rose from Erin's hand before bringing it to her lips.

"One final kiss, Kevin, my love. I'll never forget you, and our child will know just how much they were wanted, even if they were a bit of a surprise. And I have Erin and Dave by my side to support me as I learn to navigate this new world. I'm going to let you in on a secret, one that would not surprise you at all. It feels like I have both a mother and father in my life again. And I think that we'll be all right in the end."

She tossed the rose onto the casket, and watched as Erin and Dave followed suit. "We're meeting Derek and Emily for lunch, again, since you can't be with them. I know that they're probably the closest to you right now, after everything," Erin said as she took hold of Penelope's hand and began to lead them back to the car.

"I truly don't know what I'd do without you guys by my side. Thank you, Mother," she said lowly as the car door opened. Erin nodded, and then pulled her into a tight hug, allowing Penelope to bury her face in the crook of her neck as she stroked her back, as if she understood that that was exactly what Penelope needed in that moment. She let out a deep breath as they parted, and she slipped into the backseat, curling up as best she could as she watched Erin get into the passenger seat. A sadness slipped over her when she realized her mother wasn't going to be by her side, but Penelope knew that she had to grow accustomed to not always having someone by her side. She had to learn to be strong for the baby, and everything would work itself out, in the end.


	35. Chapter 35

Penelope let out a soft sigh as Derek opened the door to Dave's car, helping her into the back seat. She had hoped that they were going to spend some more time together, but it seemed like he would be going to his own home with Emily. And without even saying goodbye to her, really. Biting the corner of her cheek, she tried to keep from crying, feeling so off kilter with everything that had happened that day.

And then, Derek was coming around to the other side of the car, slipping in next to her as Dave and Erin got into the front. "You didn't really think I would let you go without saying goodbye, did you, Baby Girl?" he asked quietly as he reached out for her hand.

She threaded their fingers together as Dave started the car up and pulled out into traffic. "I didn't really know what to think. My life has turned upside down in the last few days, and I haven't really had a chance to breathe and get used to one change at the time." Penelope hated how quavery her voice sounded. Derek just nodded in sympathy as he rubbed his thumb back and forth. The touches were comforting, and she took a few deep breaths as she tried to control her emotions.

A quiet fell over the car, as if no one really knew what to say, and the silence suited her just fine. Up until Dave decided to turn his music up a little, and she chuckled a little as the comfortable sound of distinctly Italian music began to flow through the car. Penelope snuggled back into the seat and turned her head to watch the scenery, never letting go of Derek's hand until they reached Erin's home. From the look of the drive, her siblings were home from school already, and she wondered how they would react to this. She was self-conscious, in a way that she hadn't been for years, but she wanted to impress her siblings so badly, she wanted to fit in with them perfectly, and she had a thought in the back of her head that this would set their relationship back too many steps.

Pursing her lips tightly, Penelope trailed behind Erin and Dave as they went into the house, running conversations through her head, trying to anticipate with Karen would say. Somehow, she knew that the eldest of her half-siblings would be the ringleader of everything, since she was just as formidable as Erin. As her thoughts became more and more frenzied, Penelope found herself weaving on her feet a little, Derek reaching out to steady her as Erin turned and looked at her closely.

"Are you feeling all right, darling?" her mother asked as she reached her hand out to rest on her upper arm.

"I, I think so," she replied, her voice sounding much too loud for her ears. Cocking her head to one side, she frowned a little at Erin, feeling suddenly very warm, too warm for what she was wearing. "Maybe…" Her voice broke off as absolute darkness slipped over her body, and she fell backwards into Derek's waiting arms as she lost consciousness.

"Mom told us not to bother her, Karen."

"But she also told us to keep watch over her. That's what I'm doing," her sister hissed back. Penelope giggled a little as she fluttered her eyes open, focusing in the faces that were staring down at her. "See, Tabby, you disturbed her!"

"I fainted, didn't I?" she groaned out as she sat up, scooting back so that she could rest against the headboard. Karen and Tabitha nodded in unison as they pounced on the bed, making it bounce a little as they made themselves comfortable. "Great."

"Mom says that you've been under a lot of stress lately, and that we needed to take care of you like sisters do." Tabitha gave her a small smile. "But tell us more about that hunky guy who carried you up here! He didn't even break a sweat, even though the steps are kinda steep!"

"He's my best friend. We've been tight ever since I joined the BAU, and in a perfect world, where I was as pretty and thin as our mother, we might have made a go of it. But life is fickle, and my heart fell in love with Kevin, and we settled into a good rhythm."

Karen nodded sagely as she reached out and touched Penelope hesitantly on her arm. "Mom has said nearly the same about Dave. And they made it work, years down the road. Besides, you're beautiful, just like all us Strauss women."

Penelope smiled indulgently at her sister, knowing that she meant well, and gave her a small nod. "We never really know what direction our lives will take, no matter how much we plan out our future. Because I would never have planned for these last few days."

"You're so right," Tabitha said as she stretched out on the bed, copying Penelope's pose as she reclined against the footboard. "I wish that we had gotten the opportunity to know you before all this. Because I think that we would have been able to support you a lot better, if we knew you better."

"Life isn't like a movie, nothing is ever perfect. We just have to move forward with the hand that we're dealt. But I am glad that I get to know you, and Bruce, and I hope that we can grow closer." Karen nodded a little as she patted Penelope's leg. "You can stretch out, too, Karen. It seems like this is a huge bed, after all."

"Mom always liked California King beds, so that's probably why it seems so big," she replied as she also stretched out, laying on her stomach as she pillowed her head on her arms, watching Penelope closely as she wiggled her foot in slow circles. "I hope that you decide that we're worth getting to know. Even if I was a bit of a bitch that first meal. I'm just really bad with surprises."

"I think we all are, Karen. And you are definitely worth knowing. I mean, who else am I going to get to babysit when I have to go away on cases?" she teased, listening to Tabitha giggle a little.

"I don't do babies," Karen hurriedly said, a small, strained, smile on her lips. "I will lavish it in presents, but Tabby or Bruce can be in charge of diapers and feedings. I don't even think that I want kids, really."

Penelope was almost going to tell her that she might change her mind with time, but then thought of Emily and Jessica. They were both perfectly content to not have children, so she really couldn't tell her half-sister that her beliefs would change so radically. "And that's perfectly okay, you have to be true to your heart," she finally replied, reaching out to stroke Karen's hair. It struck her, in that moment, that she would one day have a child Karen's age, and her lower lip trembled when that thought ran to its natural conclusion – she wouldn't have Kevin there to help her.

"Are you okay, Penny?" Tabitha asked, kicking her hip lightly with her foot.

She shook her head a little as she started to cry. "It hit me, just now, that I won't have Kevin by my side to help me raise this little one. These small reminders are going to keep coming, and I know that I'll have to deal with them, but I didn't think that it would be so difficult to imagine a life without him."

She buried her chin in her chest as her hands began to rub her stomach absently, trying to climb back down the emotional mountain. Karen reached out and touched her leg, giving her a questioning look when Penelope met her gaze. She nodded a little, and Karen scooted over, draping her arm around her waist as she settled her head on Penelope's chest. It was nice to have the physical touch, and she sighed a little as she snaked her arm around Karen's shoulders, letting her fingers trace along the curve of her shoulder as she watched Tabitha.

"We'll always be there for you, Penny," Tabitha said as she turned on her side and let her head thump down on her legs as she drew in a deep breath. "The only thing that would be better than this would be if Mama joined us. She always gives the best hugs."

"So I'm finding out," Penelope murmured as she began to relax and let her guard down. "I want, so much, to be good enough for this family. Because I need you all in my life." Karen nodded as she tightened her hold on Penelope.

"You are more than good enough, Penny," Erin said as she stepped into the room. "Derek and Dave are currently making supper for all of us, and they kicked me out of the kitchen, since I wanted to help too much." She gave a soft smile to Penelope as she crossed the room and took a seat on the bed, reaching out to caress Penelope's cheek before drawing her knees up to her chest. "That leaves us with some time to talk before we eat. Tabitha, how is French class going?"

Penelope was so grateful that Erin had decided to start with something mundane, something that would allow her to get to know her siblings a little better, and she closed her eyes as she listened to Tabitha start to talk about her trials in learning a new language.

* * *


	36. Chapter 36

"You all managed to take a nap while we work?" Bruce said as he shook Penelope's shoulder. She glared up at him as she tried to turn onto her side, only to realise that Erin and Karen were curled up on her, Erin's arm protectively wrapped around the two of them. Raising her head, she saw that Tabitha was curled up like a cat, her head pillowed on her arms.

"Sometimes, sleep is the only thing that can cure a soul's ills," she murmured before letting her head thump back onto the pillow. "Care to help me out here?"

"Yeah," he replied, ambling over to the bed and reaching out to tickle Tabitha's bare feet. She kicked out at him before curling up tightly once more, a tired groan slipping from her lips. Bruce winked at Penelope before once more tickling Tabitha, not letting up until she had bolted upright, a high-pitched shriek spilling from her lips as she popped off the bed and began to smack her brother's shoulders.

"Bruce Alexander Strauss! You know that you're not supposed to tickle me!" she said, not bothering to modulate her voice to an indoor tone, and Penelope giggled as she felt Erin and Karen stir next to her.

"Tabby, are you fighting with Bruce, again?" Karen grumbled as she sat up, rubbing her eyes free of sleep sand. "Honestly, I would have expected you to grow out of this by now."

Erin chuckled a little as she rose gracefully to sit up, scooting back against the headboard as she looked between them all. "Ask your Aunt Liz how long it took for us to finally get along, and I can guarantee that the answer you get will surprise you." She looked at Penelope, before leaning in the touching their foreheads together. "Now, you three run along down to the dining room and make certain the table is set and that our glasses are filled with water. Penny and I will be along shortly."

They all nodded and scurried from the room as Penelope took a few deep breaths. "I hope there's time to change," she said lowly, seeing that she was the only one still in her funeral outfit.

"Supper won't start until we get down there, darling," Erin responded as she stroked her hair a few times. "I hope my daughters didn't bother you too much. I know that this day has been a trial for you, and that I can't always be there to hold your hand, but I've always been a bit of a helicopter parent."

"You? Never," Penelope scoffed as she got out of the bed and padded over to her closet, pulling out a fresh dress. Not bothering to step behind a door, she shucked off her black dress before tugging the fresh one on, smoothing it down her body before moving to the mirror above the dresser and carding her fingers through her hair to somewhat tame it. "All right, there's no point in freshening up my makeup, you've all seen me without it, anyway, and I don't want to hold up the meal any longer."

"The meal will wait as long as you need, Penelope."

She gave a fleeting smile to her mother as she shrugged a little, coming over to her side and clasping her hand as they started downstairs. Since they were last to the table, there were only two seats open, and she took the one closest to Derek, noticing instantly that Tabitha had chosen to sit on his other side. "It took you long enough to get here! I was about ready to start gnawing on this brick of chocolate next to me," the girl teased, and Penelope listened to Erin gasp a little as they both took a seat.

"He's not as young as you think, and you are nowhere near as old as you think, Tabitha," Erin said, fixing a steely gaze on Tabitha. Penelope watched her half-sister's face turn a deep red as she nodded, and Penelope took a quick sip of water to quell her giggles. "Now, David, if you would say the blessing?"

He nodded, and Penelope watched as they all clasped hands, and she followed suit. It was a marked difference to the meal that she had shared with Erin's ex and she found herself grateful that she could see how much better Dave was for Erin. A small smile slipped across her face as she took hold of Derek and Erin's hands, listening to Dave say a quick prayer before starting to pass around the dishes on the table.

Somehow, they had managed to make her favorites, and she knew that that had to be Derek's input, since he knew her the best of the three adults. Glancing over at him, she felt another sigh slip from her lips as she filled her plate. Even though this was her ideal meal, she found that her appetite was still lacking, but she kept chipping away at it, knowing that she needed to eat.

As she continued to pick at her food, she listened to Erin clear her throat, and she glanced over at her mother, seeing the serious look on her face. "Yeah?" she asked, hating the way trepidation clouded her voice.

"I was thinking about this, and I know that your pregnancy will be higher risk, given your age and the fact that you were shot in your abdomen a few years ago. I have the room here, obviously, and since David and I aren't planning on moving in together until Tabitha has graduated from high school, this would be a stable place for you. I want you to move in here with us."

There was a cool logic to her words, but Penelope could tell that she was absolutely nervous about asking her that, as if she was afraid that Penelope would say no. And a part of her really did want to say no, that she would be fine on her own, visiting occasionally, but she looked around the table at her siblings and found that there was really only one answer that she could give her mother. Before she could answer, though, Derek nudged her gently with his elbow, and she looked over at him, frowning a little.

"I think that you should listen to your mother, Penelope."

"Oh?" she asked, arching one eyebrow, trying to emulate Erin perfectly.

"Yeah, she's right in this case. You need your family close at hand, especially since your stepbrothers live all over the country, and we're not home enough to take care of you, should something happen with the pregnancy. She has your best interest at heart."

She tried not to let her face soften into a smile, but one corner twitched tellingly, and Derek shook his head a little before reaching out to smack her shoulder lightly. "If you hadn't interrupted me, Der, I would have told you that I totally agree with my mother. I need time to get to know these siblings, and I want to spend these days with my mother, since she should be able to tell me what to expect. Kevin was already watching birthing videos and all that, trying to get ready. Where else am I going to find someone who will do that for us?"

"You never know, that person could be in the last place you look, Penelope," Bruce said. She looked over at him, noticing the almost knowing smirk on his lips that told her he was so Erin's child, and she frowned a little at him. "We'll just have to see what God has in store for us all, right?"

"Yeah," she said slowly, drawing the word out as she looked over at Erin. Her mother looked cautiously joyous, and Penelope slipped her hand off the table to grab for her hand, squeezing it a little as they both drew in a deep breath. "If you want me here, I suppose that I could stay. I'll just need some help bringing over some more of my things. Because I'm going to need my clothes, and jewelry, and makeup…"

"Ooh, we could do that this weekend! I mean, unless Karen and Bruce actually want to go to Dad's. I, for one, am completely okay with skipping this week so that we get to spend more time with Penelope!"

"If only it worked that way, Tabby. You'll need to call your father and ask if that will be all right. I don't want him to overreact to yet another change in our lives."

Tabitha nodded, a small pout on her lips as she slumped down in her seat, instantly starting to pick at her food as well. "I guess I don't get why he gets to run our lives, when he was the one that fucked around."

"Tabitha, language."

"I know, Mom, but it's true! I thought that we could use strong language when that was true."

"You are skirting a very fine line, and you know it, young lady." Tabitha shrugged before glancing at her siblings, ending with Penelope. "You know that your father has a temper." Erin reached up and touched her cheek lightly, and Penelope nodded in sympathy as she set her fork aside, reaching out to grab her water and sip at it. "But yes, if everything works out, we will use Saturday to bring over all the things Penelope will need for the next seven months with us. Though at some point, we're going to have to go shopping for maternity clothes, and baby paraphernalia, and all the wonderful stuff that goes along with adding a new life to the world. Along with finding a new home for them."

Penelope felt a warm wave of love sweep over her heart as she looked around at the people she considered dearest to her in that moment, and she knew that no matter what came next, she would always be surrounded by those she loved.


	37. Chapter 37

Derek had stayed longer than she had expected him to, but Penelope wasn't upset with that, instead, finding herself growing comfortable with his presence as she listened to Dave and Erin talk lowly. There was an ease to them, and Penelope wondered if Kevin and she would have had that same level of rapport when they had reached that age. That had led to a restless sleep, and she woke up far earlier than normal, feeling like she hadn't even slept at all.

A part of her felt like she had to go back to work, that she couldn't spend another day doing nothing, so she thumbed through the clothes she had on hand and decided on something that closely approximated what she would normally wear. Throwing the clothes over her arm, she trudged into the bathroom and placed her clothes on the sink counter before stripping off her pyjamas and stepping into the shower.

As she let the warm water beat down on her, Penelope let herself think about the day ahead. There would be a lot for her to catch up on, because even though Alpha team hadn't gone out on a case, in deference to her, she still had to check up on her red cell team, and see if there were any other requests for her services. Plus, she had no idea how the backup tech had been working out in her absence, which would add to her workload. Letting out a deep sigh, she washed her hair and then turned off the water, opening the shower door to grab a towel and wrapped it around her body.

After rummaging around in the drawers, Penelope managed to find a hair dryer, and she turned it on low to go through her hair, gently carding her fingers through to remove the excess water. Once she was satisfied with it, Penelope pulled on her clothes before bending and picking up her pyjamas, dropping them off in her bedroom before heading downstairs.

Just as she thought, there was no one up, and she began to look through all the cupboard, trying to find something that she could eat for breakfast, like oatmeal or cereal, not wanting to make omelettes and perhaps disturb her family if she set the smoke alarm off. She had just opened the pantry door when a cool hand on her upper arm caught her attention. Turning to see who else was up at such an ungodly hour, she smiled with relief when she saw her mother. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"I usually get up at this time, it allows me some peace to start my day with." Erin gave her a tired smile, and she wondered just how late she had stayed up with Dave. "What are you thinking of for breakfast?"

"I wanted to make omelettes, but I don't know your kitchen well enough yet to even think about making them. So I was settling for cereal."

"Well, I guess that it's a good thing I came down. Start a kettle of water boiling for tea, and I'll get things together for breakfast. The kids can fend for themselves, they usually do." Penelope nodded as she grabbed the kettle off the stove and filled it with fresh water. Heading back over to the stove, she turned the burner on and then rummaged through the tea caddy to try and find something that piqued her interest. Finally, she settled on Lady Grey, and pulled out two sachets before looking over at Erin, watching her gather things from the fridge.

"What would you like this morning?"

"Grab two bags of Scottish Breakfast Blend for me," she replied absently, and Penelope nodded as she thumbed through the caddy once more, finding what Erin wanted quite quickly and then heading back over to the table, setting them at their places before heading to the sink and opening the first cupboard, vaguely remembering that that was where the mugs were kept. A small smile slipped across her lips as she found a bunch of gaudy, garish, ones on the first shelf, while the more elegant ones were on the second. Knowing that she was pushing her luck, she pulled out a pair of Disney princess mugs, somehow knowing that they belonged to Tabitha, and took them over to the table before taking a seat and waiting to hear the whistle of the kettle.

"Would you mind driving me in today? We haven't brought my car over yet, otherwise I'd head in by myself."

"Do you really think you're ready to go back? You've had two large shocks happen quite quickly together, and I wouldn't want you to feel overwhelmed by being thrown into the deep end of things."

"But I also feel like if I don't go back now, I'm never going to want to go back. I need to be doing something," she said, stressing the last word. The kettle whistled, and she got up, picking it up by the handle and setting it down on a trivet as she watched Erin plate their omelettes.

"All right, if you truly feel like this is what you want to do, I'll support you. Just know, if anything starts to stress you out, you have access to my office, and I will allow you whatever time you need to get yourself together. Helen will know that, as well, so you don't have to worry about her saying something."

"That does make me feel better," Penelope murmured as she dug into her omelette. Erin gave her a quick smile as she started to steep their tea. "I don't think that I'll need to use that, though. I think that I can do my job and keep it together."

She barely caught the quick cock of Erin's eyebrow, but it was enough to cause her to frown a little as she set her fork aside and rested her chin in one hand, staring at Erin. "I believe that you feel that way now, darling, but I think that that might change once you are faced with your workload and all our well-meaning colleagues coming up and giving you their sympathies. That is a hard load to bear, as I'm certain you remember from when Emily was thought to be dead."

Erin did have a point there, and she nodded slowly as she fished the teabag out of her mug and set it on one side of her plate, bringing the mug up to her lips and sipping at the drink as she stared down at the table. "Everyone did seem to come out of the woodwork," she finally said, just as the noise of feet on the tile caught their attention. Penelope looked to see that Tabitha was standing at the table, her arms resting on the back of the chair as she yawned deeply. "Hey, you're up early."

"I smelled food."

Erin chuckled a little as she pushed her plate towards her youngest child. "I made extra, just in case you got up," she replied, and Tabitha smiled happily as she pulled out the chair and sat, digging into the rest of the omelette. "I'm going to go sit in the day room for a while, since we don't have to leave here for another ninety minutes or so."

"May I join you?"

"Of course," Erin said, and Penelope shot a quick smile to Tabitha as she got to her feet and followed after Erin, mug in hand. Tabitha waved to them a little, and she waved back before leaving the kitchen. The day room was filled with a lovely light, and Penelope curled up on one end of the sofa as she stared out the window. "What were your parents like?"

"They were hippies. Believed in free, easy, love and that people were hiding deep wells of emotion behind the mask that they put on for the public. I failed them, when I didn't look at you with the eyes they had tried to give me. And if they had known…"

Erin sighed a little as she reached over and patted Penelope's knee. "There were events in my life that created a bitter heart in me. I will tell you about them, eventually, but I will tell you that I reserved my kindness for my children, and I did anything at work that would ensure my job security, so that I could provide for them."

"We all make choices for one reason or another. I think that doing things for family is probably the noblest decision maker, honestly."

"I'm not certain you'll feel that way when you find out some of the things I did, but you make my heart a little lighter to hear you say it that way." Erin tightened her hand on Penelope's knee as she drew in a deep breath. "Now, I need to get ready for the day, and you'll probably want to put your makeup on. We'll meet back downstairs in thirty?"

"As long as you don't say wheels up, we'll be fine," Penelope joked as she got up from the sofa, holding out her hand to Erin. She clasped it tightly before letting Penelope help her to her feet. Hand in hand, they went upstairs, and Penelope found herself actually somewhat looking forward to the day ahead, since she knew that she would be able to at least take her mind off what was troubling her.


	38. Chapter 38

Penelope enjoyed being driven to work once more, finding herself soothed by the classical music Erin had turned up when the conversation had ground to a halt. There wasn't much to say, she felt, as she wanted to focus on what was going to be the start of her day. But then, a familiar piece started, and she turned her head to look at Erin, one hand absently rubbing her stomach as she drew in an expectant breath.

"Do you think that I should start putting headphones on my stomach and pump their little ears full of Mozart so that they miss out on the gorier details of the job I do? I mean, that's what Jayje did for Henry, but Michael was completely different. Maybe that was because he was the second child? I don't know. I just want to make certain that I'm doing right by them, and not having them miss out because of something I did wrong."

Erin gave her a gentle smile as she shrugged her shoulders a little. "You have to make certain that whatever choice you make, its right for you. And do not, under any circumstances, go looking for advice on the internet. There are so many holier than thou mothers on message boards who will judge you for every decision, and you don't need hyper critical people in your mind and heart, Penny. I know you, you'll internalize that and it will create a swamp of toxic negativity in your heart. Ask Jennifer or myself for advice, ask trusted friends who are mothers. Hell, even ask Jessica for advice, since she's had a major hand in helping to raise Jack after Hailey passed. Just don't rely on the kindness of strangers."

"I never took you for a Tennessee Williams fan," she replied, giving Erin a broad wink.

"There are many things that you do not yet know about me." Erin winked back before turning her attention back to the road, humming along to the song. Penelope found herself relaxing to the sound, wishing that she knew the piece better so that she could join Erin's humming. They arrived at the office before the piece was over, but Penelope knew they couldn't take the time to finish it. Still, she let out a soft sound of discontent as she unbuckled her belt and climbed out of the car.

Together, they went up to the sixth floor, and Penelope found the elevator a little too close for comfort, stepping closer to Erin as they travelled up. Thankfully, the car had emptied on fifth floor, and she let out a relieved breath as she stepped away from her mother, shaking her hips a little as she waited for the doors to open once more. "People get to be too much at times, don't they?" Erin asked softly as the elevator came to a stop.

"Just a little," she replied as they stepped out onto the floor. And though she knew that she was just being overly sensitive, Penelope still felt like she was attracting every eye on the floor to her. "I hate to ask this, but…"

"Of course I will escort you up to your office, darling," Erin said, and Penelope felt her shoulders sag a little in relief. "I told you this wasn't going to be a walk in the park."

"I know, but I need to get used to it." Unconsciously, she grabbed at Erin's hand, holding on tightly as they entered the bullpen. "I swear, if Reid or Hotch come up and try to give me words of comfort, I am going to have a breakdown where everyone can see me."

"It is thoroughly okay to cry, Penelope. There's no set timeline on grief," Erin replied as she led her over to the stairs. As they started upwards, Penelope heard her name being called, and she turned quickly, almost losing her balance. Erin steadied her with one hand, bracing herself against the railing with the other hand as she also turned to see who had gotten their attention.

"We didn't know that you were going to be in today! Agent Hotchner said that you would probably be off for another week or so."

She gave Agent Anderson a small smile as she shook her head. "I thought that it would be best if I got right back to it. I didn't want to be left alone with my own thoughts."

"I completely understand that. If you need anything, anything at all, just call down to my desk and I'll get it for you. We have to look after you and the baby."

She was touched by his concern, and gave him a fleeting smile before turning and continuing up the stairs. Thankfully, she didn't hear her name again before she closed herself in her office, and Penelope sagged down into her chair as she started to boot up her systems. "Do you need me to do anything else here?"

"I think I'm good now. But we're still having lunch together?"

"Of course. It will have to be a working lunch for me, I'll have Helen order us something, and try to get something you'll like. Be in my office at noon, and we'll spend that hour together."

Penelope nodded and then spun around in her chair so that she was looking at Erin. "Hug for the road?" she asked tremulously, and Erin nodded, stepping forward to embrace her as the door to her office rattled open. She had expected Erin to let go of her quickly at that, but still, the hug lingered on, even as Dave stepped inside.

"I thought I might find you here, Erin. I was hoping to see you before you started your work day." He met Penelope's eyes evenly, a twinkle there that told her he was hoping to kiss Erin before they had to get to work. Giggling a little, she pushed Erin towards him, watching as they effortlessly came together, wrapping themselves around each other as Dave's lips came down to capture Erin's in a delicate, loving, kiss.

Erin's cheeks flushed a deep red as Dave released her, and they smiled at each other before looking at Penelope. "I suppose that this is where I leave you, Penny. I'll see you in a few hours," Erin said before she placed her hand into the crook of Dave's arm and leading him from the room. The sudden silence startled Penelope, and she turned back to her systems and called up Pandora on her free terminal, starting a new station from the song that had been playing on Erin's radio. The soothing sounds of Mozart spread through her office as she started to get to work on her backlog.

It wasn't until she felt a large hand close around her upper arm that Penelope looked up from her monitor and realized she hadn't done anything more than stare at her list of email for the last half hour. "I was getting a bit worried about you when you didn't show up for the briefing. Anderson mentioned that you were looking forward to jumping back into work."

"I am!" she agreed quickly, watching as Hotch's brow furrowed in sympathy, giving her a small shake of his head. "Truly, I am. I am fit to return to duty, and you don't have to worry about me. Okay?"

"I wish that it was okay. I'm going to have to say this, hopefully in a kind way, but you are not fit to return to duty. Perhaps if you had someone stimulating you, keeping you occupied as you conducted your searches, it might be different, but I don't feel comfortable with you being here alone."

His hand, though heavy on her arm, was warm and comforting, and she sighed as she nodded. Gently, he pulled her up, and she threw her arms around his waist as she fought to keep from crying. "I suppose Mother was right, I should have given it a little more time. I just can't bear to be alone with my thoughts."

"And the baby can feel that stress, or so Hailey always told me. I want what's best for you and your child, Penelope. And if that means holing up in Erin's office for a week while you get your feet back under you, then I am perfectly willing to allow that to happen. Bring your laptop with you to the briefing, and then we'll head over there together and let her know that this is what we've settled on as our solution."

"Thanks, Hotch," she murmured into his suitcoat, and she drew in a deep breath as she stepped away from him. "I always knew that you would look out for me, from the moment you picked my pretty pink resume."

"That is the stuff of legend around the other SACs, you know." She shrugged as she bent to pick up her laptop. "I wish that I had a camera so that I could have taken a picture of Erin's face when she saw that I was the one who agreed to take on the extra paperwork that having you on our team would entail."

"I know, I did cause quite a few issues for the FBI, but I was young and hurting, would you expect anything less of one who wanted to stick it to the man in honor of her departed parents?"

He chuckled lowly as he shook his head. "I suppose that you have a point there, Penelope," he said as he placed her free hand into the crook of his elbow and led her from the room. It felt nice to be guided in this manner, since she didn't really have to think about where she was going at that particular moment and could instead focus on pulling herself together.


	39. Chapter 39

The rest of her week had blurred into a swirl of work and helping Erin and trying to get her bearings once more, but Penelope found that as she and Erin went home on Friday evening, there was a nice feeling of accomplishment, of moving forward, to her life now. And even though Erin and Dave had gone out for a date that evening, leaving her alone with her siblings, she had still managed to make it through that, and even helped Karen out with her homework, as well. Sleep had come a little easier that evening, too, and she woke up Saturday feeling more rested than she had in a week.

Climbing out of bed, she padded over to her closet, tugging off her pyjamas as she went. Since they were going to be moving all her belongings over, she knew that a more lowkey look would be appropriate, so she fished out her only pair of jeans, hoping they'd fit around her growing baby bump, along with a comfortable spring sweater. It didn't take her long to get dressed, and then she was traipsing downstairs, finding that everyone else was already at the table, looking at her expectantly.

"So, you finally decided to grace us with your presence, Kitten."

Penelope let out a soft squeal as she pivoted on her heel. "I didn't know you were here already."

"Spent the night, too bad the guest room was already occupied, I had to find other accommodations," he teased as he leaned in and kissed her cheek softly. "But it was very nice to wake up next to someone you love." His voice went from teasing to commiserating so quickly, and Penelope nodded as she hugged him. "But take a seat, we've almost gotten the breakfast casserole ready to come out of the oven, and then we can work on our plan of attack. Derek said he'd bring Reid by your apartment around ten, so we still have ninety minutes before we have to be there."

She nodded as she slid into the open chair next to Tabitha, giving her youngest sister a small smile before reaching for her orange juice and taking a long sip. "I hope that you'll all be patient with me. I haven't really thought about what I'm bringing over yet, so it will take me a little while to pack everything up."

"That's okay, Mom told us what to expect. And she already packed our luggage in the trunk, since she figured you wouldn't have boxes and the like there. She's really good at being prepared," Bruce said as he leaned back in his chair.

"I've definitely noticed that. I think that I might get a little of that from her, since I love to have all my ducks in a row at work. Home, it's a different ball of wax." She bit her lip as she suddenly realized she'd missed her group that week. "I have to call Andrea. I can't believe I forgot!"

"Your group? Don't worry, Andrea called while you were sleeping one night, and I told her a little of what was going on. She said that she would take over for you for the next three weeks, to allow you some space to breath. But she'll understand if you want to be there."

"Thank you," she said, feeling herself tear up. Tabitha reached out and squeezed her forearm softly, giving her an encouraging smile, and Penelope nodded as she took a few deep breaths as she tried to get her emotions under control. There was a small pause in the conversation as Dave set the casserole on the table in front of them.

It didn't take long for her to eat, and then she was helping Erin gather up the dishes, putting them in the washer as the others went out to the garage. "You're riding with me, though I have a pretty good feeling that Tabitha is going to want to ride home in your car, since you still have the convertible, yes?"

"I do."

"She'll bug you to drive it, too. Don't let her, not right away."

"Okay, Mother," she said as she hooked their arms together. They went out to the cars, and she smiled to see that everyone had chosen to pile into Rossi's Cadillac, which suited her just fine, since it meant that she would have more time alone with her mother. "Well, that's interesting."

"They always abandon me for him," she said with a teasing lilt in her voice as she climbed behind the wheel of her car. Penelope nodded as she got into the passenger seat, arranging herself so that she would be facing Erin for the entire drive. "It really makes me so happy that they've taken to him as well as they have. I was worried that their father might poison them against him, you know?"

"I think it's pretty clear that your kids side with you in all things, Erin." The woman frowned, and Penelope cocked her head to one side as she tried to figure out what was bothering her. "Did I say something wrong?"

"It's nothing, I just like being called Mother by you. I know, it will take time for that to be natural, but you make it sound so loving when you say it."

"Then I will try to remember, Mother," she replied as she smiled a little wider. "So, I really meant what I said, I have no idea how long it will take to move me over to your place. And a part of me wonders if I should also pack everything up and put it in storage as I look for a bigger place?"

"That might be a good thing to think of as you move forward in the next few months. Because a one bedroom won't be the best for a newborn. Perhaps you can look for a small house? I'm certain that between David and myself, we can help you out in the search."

She nodded as she relaxed a little in the seat. She was glad that she had a mother to ask about things like that, since she needed the guidance that came from a mother's hand in times like this. The rest of the drive was spent chatting about how work would go the next week, since Penelope needed a space where she could talk to her team, and she didn't want to disrupt her. Finally, they were pulling into her parking lot, and Erin tapped in her code, letting them in. She watched as Dave parked behind Derek's truck, and then everyone was coming over to Erin's car, grabbing the luggage out of the trunk as Penelope and Erin made their way towards the door.

"Are you moving, Penelope?"

She looked up to see her neighbor, Mrs. Pentland, was just coming out, and nodded a little. "My mother is going to help me out with my pregnancy, since we lost Kevin so suddenly. Right now, we're just moving my every day needs, until I decide what my future looks like."

"Well, just know that whatever happens, you have a friend here."

"I know, Mrs Pentland," she replied as she followed the others inside, giving the older woman a quick smile before hurrying over to the stairs and heading up to her apartment. "You could have waited for me, Der!" she called out as she finally joined the others.

"I didn't want to leave everyone in the hall as you finished up your conversation." She nodded, winking at him as she closed the door behind them.

"All right, all the perishables are probably out of date, so we can throw those out. If someone wants to start in the kitchen, that's the main concern there. I'll start in the bedroom and get the rest of my clothes packed up. I wish that I could take some of my sheet sets with me, but I will take some of my quilts," she said to Erin as they placed the first few suitcases down on the bed.

Her mother nodded, and went over to her closet, starting to pull things out of it and handing them to the girls. Penelope sighed with pleasure as she watched them get to work, and then she was going through her drawers and filling a small case with all her delicates before moving on to her jewelry. "Do you want me to gather your makeup from the bathroom?" Karen asked, and Penelope nodded, giving the girl a grateful smile as she continued with her work.

"All right, are you ready for us to take the first set of bags down?" Dave asked. Looking past him, she saw that Bruce's arms were loaded down with rubbish bags, and she gave him a sympathetic look as she nodded.

"And the dumpster is in the far corner of the parking lot. Make certain one of the guys helps you, Bruce, that lid is heavier than you think." He nodded before following the others out, and she sighed a little as she made a place for herself on her bed, sitting down heavily as she absently rubbed her stomach.

"Are you feeling okay?" Erin asked as she crouched down and ran her fingers through Penelope's hair, concern coloring her features.

"It's probably just a bit of morning sickness, but would you mind terribly if I curled up on the bed for a few minutes?"

"That's fine, darling." Erin helped her clear a larger space before she curled up on her side, hugging a pillow tight to her chest. Straining her ears, she listened to Erin speaking lowly to Tabitha and then felt more movement on the bed before Erin took a seat next to her, and Penelope couldn't resist scooting back until she touched Erin's legs. Turning around, she watched Erin, a sad smile curving her lips upwards as everyone continued to work around them.


End file.
